After his father suffered a massive stroke and his mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, Jim Comer found himself an overnight "parent" at the age of 51. When he walked into his father's hospital room everyone looked to him as the “man who knew all the answers.” He soon realized he didn't even know the questions.
In ten years of caregiving, Comer has not only learned the questions he has lived them, and with When Roles Reverse he shares his hard-won answers.
He learned to deal with hospitals, insurance companies, rehab centers, his father's deafness and his mother’s dementia. Through it all Jim has kept his sanity and sense of humor, in the process forging a deeper, more intimate relationship with his parents.
With laugh-out-loud humor, Jim deals with improvisational moments for which there is no preparation:You find three gallons of Scotch in your dad’s retirement home closet;Your Mother refuses to leave her home of 34 years and can only be coaxed into the car with promises of ice cream;At a crowded Sunday dinner table, your father announces that he wants you to give him an enema after lunch…
And offers personal experience and expert insight on the many issues it’s absolutely essential to plan for such as:Wills, powers of attorney, and other legal documents every family needsWhich siblings will be there when your parents need them?Selecting a first-rate care facility and getting long-term care insuranceNew Medicaid guidelines and how to qualifyHospice care and end-of-life decisions
When Roles Reverse even includes "Fifty Questions that will save you Time, Money, and Tears," a special section designed to help families initiate vital communication and prepare for the crises, confusion and unexpected joys of caregiving.
Jim Comer has appeared on The Today Show, written jokes for Bob Hope, Op-Eds for The New York Times, Washington Post, and Los Angeles Times, and worked as a speech coach and creative consultant for Fortune 500 companies. He lives in Austin, Texas.
In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents’ emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you’ll learn how to create positive, new relationships so you can build a better life.
Discover the four types of difficult parents:The emotional parent instills feelings of instability and anxietyThe driven parent stays busy trying to perfect everything and everyoneThe passive parent avoids dealing with anything upsettingThe rejecting parent is withdrawn, dismissive, and derogatory