Paying any price … just to ruin my existence: essays about duality

Adrian Gabriel Dumitru

Love Essays Book 1 · Adrian G Dumitru

About this ebook

"When you get what you want it's God's direction.

When you don't get what you want that's God's protection."

I've always wondered why i come into this weird position of not really seeing some of my desires becoming real.

No matter how much i would try to see that happening.

Or ... want.

And it was not only one time like that.

Realising that i am actually stopped to get what i desire ...no matter what.

Somehow ... of some invisible forces.

But ... i also had times when i've been allowed to see my dreams becoming true.

So ... today i dare to ask the philosophical question ... why i am or i am not allowed to get what i want in life?!

And ... why i disagree all the time with the Universe?!

But ... i can not answer to those questions.

Into the end i just see myself ruined mentally and emotionally ... driving crazy, like a small little kid ... cause i don't get what i desire.

Becoming really insane.

And …

Well ... everything just continues ... the way it must be, but i can't accept it.

I keep trying.

I keep forcing things.

Again ... and again ... and again.

Unfortunately ... i am doing that by a lifetime.

I just can't stop myself.

So ... yes ... all continues.

I also continue to study motivation ... illusory believing that i have the right to get whatever i ask to the Universe.

Keeping in mind the law of attraction, but not carrying of its secondary effects.

Then ... into those moments of becoming annoyed ... because i am tortured of certain people or circumstances ... i actually pretend i have no idea what is going on.

And ...

But ... i am still alive.

So ... still pushed to experience lots of weird ugly things.

Having moments when i define my existence as a nightmare, but not being able to accept that i am into such a position cause i don't understand that i can't avoid anymore to deny that i actually know that the Universe is always speaking abstractly to me.

So ... the karmic show of torture ... continues.

And as an idiot ... i say to everyone that ... the Universe doesn't love me, denying my requests.

But ...

Ratings and reviews

f you enjoy psychological thrillers with unexpected twists, this is the book for you. Dumitru’s Paying Any Price Just to Ruin does not disappoint. It’s intense, suspenseful, and brilliantly written. Don’t miss it!

This book asks big questions about life and the choices we make. The way Dumitru explores the idea of paying any price to ruin something or someone is deeply intriguing. It’s a captivating read that makes you think about your own life choices

Paying Any Price Just to Ruin is a beautifully written novel that explores deep psychological themes. The plot is unpredictable, and the characters are fascinating. Dumitru has created a world that is dark, intense, and incredibly engaging

About the author

I've started to write my first book at 16 ... but then ... realizing i could not publish it ... i've abandoned the idea of being a ... writer.

20 years later ... i've started to write again ... believing i will finally succeed ... but i've failed one more time ... not getting the success i was chasing for.

Another 5 years later ... i've started one more time to write ... but this time ... more as a therapy.

It's what i've defined as ... self therapy.

I was analyzing and defining lots of weird ideas ... that were a lot related to me ... and my own soul.

I totally forgot that i was chasing for success.

I was simple writing my thoughts ... in essays ... becoming this way ... maybe not a writer .... but what many define as ... an essayist.

This is not a poet ... and not a writer.

Or maybe is kind of a poet that is incapable of writing poetry ... but is still expressing his thoughts ... into a similar way ... as a poet.

And is not a writer ... cause have not the ability to write for too long time ... about the same subject.

But maybe i am not an essayist... either.

I am just an ordinary person ... that could be better defined ... as a thinker.

Analyzing ... and defining my life ... practicing this process called ... self therapy ... i started to understand life ... and the way to better paths which i should follow.

And i've wrote ... and wrote ... and wrote ... realizing one day that i've published tens of books .... not really understanding how the hell I've succeeded doing that.

Today i dare to recommend writing ... as a therapy.

I could even say ... it's a simple way of understanding who we are ... but also a process that could help us ... heal our souls.

I personally continue to ... write.

It's in fact ... a non ending story that ... at least for myself ... will probably continue for the rest of my life.

But over all ... i am glad ... i am doing it.

I continue my philosophical journey ... not being able to define myself for clear as a writer or an essayist... but ...

Well .... most probably... i am on a good path.

And ... i would dare to recommend to everyone ... all what i am doing today.