English for Scammers: A Manual for Writing Grammatically Correct Persuasive Business Emails

Dorothy Zemach · Chuck Sandy

Feb 2014 · Wayzgoose Press

About this ebook

 Curious as to why no one has claimed their UK lotto winnings from you? Why no one wants to call about the box of cash valued at Seven million five hundred thousand Dollars US (7,500,000.00 Dollars)? Why no one is responding to your PASSIONATE REQUEST FOR JOINT MUTUAL INVESTMENTS BENEFITS? If so, this book is for you.Every day, it seems, we get heart-breaking emails like this one:

I see know reasons why you are been so skeptical about your bank draft presently in our custody.

We can tell you why. It's your English. Your English is ... bad. Inaccurate. Ungrammatical. Inappropriate.

While this book is not written for scammers, its purpose is to help you avoid writing like a scammer and having your business letter wind up in someone's junk mail folder.

No one wants that. What you want is to have your business letters read and acted upon - because you're in business.

English for Scammers analyzes common mistakes, drawn from genuine correspondence, and tells you how to improve your writing so that it is appropriate for standard business letters written in English. Each unit contains exercises and an answer key. A final exam at the end offers a comprehensive review of all topics.

Topics include:

* Proper forms of address
* Openings and closings
* Spelling
* Punctuation and capitalization
* HOW MANY CAPITAL LETTERS ARE TOO MANY
* Basic grammatical constructions
* Common sentence patterns for business letters* Appropriate tone and register
* When it is advisable to refer to your esophageal cancer; your religious faith; your charitable intentions; your connections with the UN, plane crash victims, and dead lottery winners; and more

Use English for Scammers to hone your 419 letters - or even to write honest, clear, direct business correspondence.

The choice, dear readers, is yours.

Ratings and reviews

Probably seemed like a good idea, and actually does have merit, but I'll bet it's just a gloss over the same old grammatical advice users of English have been ignoring since, well, the Battle of Hastings? I could be wrong -- this could be Monty Pythonesque -- wish I had time to actually read the free sample. Maybe next life, eh? Oh, heavens! Nearly forgot my ultimate put-down! I read somewhere that scammers have found that POORLY WRITTEN SCAMS WORK BETTER. Reason is the person being scammed thinks he or she is smarter than the scammer, poor thing can't even write a grammatically correct sentence.

About the author

Dorothy Zemach is an author, editor, teacher, and teacher trainer in the field of English Language Teaching (ELT). She taught English, French, and Japanese for over 18 years in Asia, Africa, and the US and holds an MA in TESL from the School for International Training in Vermont.

Now she concentrates on writing and editing English language teaching materials and textbooks and conducting teacher training workshops. Her areas of specialty and interest include teaching writing, teaching reading, business English, academic English, testing, and humor. She is a frequent plenary speaker at international conferences, and a regular blogger for Teacher Talk at Azar Grammar.

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Chuck Sandy is an author, motivational speaker & educational activist whose many publications include the Passages and the Connect series from Cambridge University Press, the Active Skills For Communication series from Cengage Learning, and English for Scammers from Wayzgoose Press. He is a frequent presenter at conferences and workshops around the world, and is a cofounder and director of the International Teacher Development Institute (iTDi). Chuck believes that positive change in education happens one student, one classroom, and one school at a time, and that it arises most readily out of dialogue and in collaboration with other educators. Chuck blogs regularly on education, motivation, leadership, spirituality, and compassion at http://iTDi.pro/blog