No-one Ever Has Sex on Christmas Day: The most hilarious romantic comedy you'll read this Christmas

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8 reviews

About this ebook

Laugh-out-loud funny, emotional and festive… This is THE Christmas read of the year without a doubt. Absolutely loved it from beginning to end.’ Mum Reinvented

A dream family Christmas or a total nightmare? Katy and Ben are about to find out...

Katy’s been stuck in the office away from her family so she wants it all: snow (fake or real), the Michael Bublé Christmas album, whatever it takes. 

There’s only one thing missing as far as her husband Ben is concerned: another baby to complete their family. But Katy isn’t so sure she's ready yet…

Ben may be playing the role of Master Elf in the pre-school nativity but he is struggling to master his own family life. With romantically-challenged friends, an ex who refuses to go away and Katy's mum's 64-year-old toy boy thrown into the mix, Christmas looks like it could be going off the rails… Never mind family planning, can Katy and Ben even plan to make it to the end of Christmas Day?

From the no. 1 bestselling author of No-one Ever Has Sex on a Tuesday, this book will make you cry with laughter, and then book your flights abroad for the festive season. Perfect for fans of Marian Keyes, Sophie Kinsella and Milly Johnson. 

What readers are saying about No-one Ever Has Sex on Christmas Day:

'I absolutely loved it, I laughed my head off at so many parts it is soooo hilarious!' Jessica's Book Biz

'Laugh-out-loud moments throughout... worth the read just for the giggles.' Carrie's Book Reviews 

‘Hilarious, I constantly laughed out loud… Great fun and highly recommended.’ Goodreads reviewer

'If you are looking for a light-hearted Christmas read with some laughs and a lot of fun, then this is definitely a book well worth reading!!' Stardust Book Reviews

'A great book full of lots of hilarious moments and tons of good old Christmas cringy events.' Goodreads reviewer

‘An enjoyable and fun read. It brings to life the stresses of family and life at the festive time of the year. The perfect read in the run up to Christmas.’ By the Letter Book Reviews

'A fun, crazy holiday read.' Guilty Pleasures Book Reviews

'I loved it!' Goodreads reviewer

'There are so many laugh-out-loud moments right the way throughout the book that keep you hooked and make the book so easy to read.' Jessica's Book Biz

‘I've had a goofy grin on my face for the whole of this book. I challenge you to not find something to smile or laugh about in almost every single chapter, it is just that funny and feel-good…  I just can't explain how much I loved this book - so instead I’ll just suggest you read it for yourself!" Rachel’s Random Reads, 5 stars

‘Had me laughing out loud and gave me proper tears of laughter, definitely a book I’m recommending – 5 stars from me!!’ Donna’s Book Blog, 5 stars


‘This really was a hysterical read, I doubt anyone could read it and NOT find it funny!’ Novel Gossip


‘Full of laugh every minute pure joy, a perfect read for getting into the spirit of festive family fun.’ Books from Dusk till Dawn, 5 stars


‘I raced through this story, not wanting it to end…a hilarious and fast-paced read and I found myself laughing my head off so often!On My Bookshelf, 5 stars


This book was soooooo funny!... I was literally laughing out loud so much while reading.’ Steph and Chris’ Book Reviews, 5 stars


‘Tracy Bloom writes with so much spirit and she knows how to make you laugh… No-one Ever Has Sex on Christmas Day is a fun, light-hearted read that's perfect for the holidays.’ Carlene Inspired

‘Had me in stitches… I felt so Christmassy after reading this book… now being added to my list of favourite authors!’ Goodreads reviewer

Ratings and reviews

8 reviews
Gaele Hi
November 9, 2017
Not having read the earlier books in this series, it took a bit of time to connect all the dots, even as Bloom did make an effort to provide some backstory for each of the separate vignettes that were progressing in this story. First up is Kate and Ben, with their three-year old daughter, Ben’s best friend Braindead, and Kate’s bestie Daniel. Kate is the working parent here – her salary from her marketing expertise allowed Ben to stay at home to raise Millie, and now with her at school, he’s been hired on as a teacher at her preschool. Ben is all things lovely: committed father, good friend and supportive partner. He’s also over-the-moon excited about this coming Christmas: it’s Millie’s first to really understand Father Christmas and the surrounding hoopla, and they are in a new house which he has decided to decorate. Extensively. But then, the complications start: Katie’s parents are divorcing, her mum has a new “toy-boy” and is coming to spend Christmas (uninvited) bringing Carlos and his myriad of requirements, a single son and smashing Ben’s plans for a quiet and cozy holiday to bits. When a last-minute pitch for a new client for the agency lands on Katie’s desk, and the company owner is pushing for her to up stakes and move to Australia for a new job –putting Ben’s desire for another child on hold and sending her best friend Daniel, now single after his Italian lover left without a word. If that wasn’t enough tumult to add to the mix of the Christmas preparations, Ben has been handed the reins for the Nativity pageant at school, and is brought face-to-face with new students, a set of twin brother and sister with a rather obsessive and difficult mother, a nanny who finds him attractive, 23 3 year olds who all (with a couple of minor exceptions) want to be Joseph or Mary, and an encounter with his past. The twins father is Katy’s ex Matthew, his wife Allison is heavily pregnant with their fourth child, and she is borderline obsessed with her children’s advancement. When you add in Matthew’s friend Ian – divorced and playing the field, disliked by Allison and having a crush on their nanny – the story just twists up more and more. Oh there are serious concerns hidden within the never-ending barrage of demands from Katy’s mother, Ben’s nerves and ‘modernization’ of the Nativity, the planning sessions with Daniel to make Braindead’s proposal an ‘event’ and a works holiday party at a cross between Chuck E Cheese, Lion King and a booze-fueled night of abandon. Katy’s worry about the offer to move to Australia, deciding on another baby, where to put her mother and her boyfriend for their Christmas visit, her realization that Daniel has become her best friend and someone very important to her, Ben’s concerns about the secrets that Katy is keeping (the job offer) and her apparent hesitation about another baby, his own worries about whether or not the Nativity will be a success, and walking Braindead through the maze that is his feelings for his girlfriend Abby and his upcoming engagement. Tucked neatly into all of the chaos comes the truth of this story – that love can, will and does conquer all, even as the laughter and the continual piling on of ‘just one more’ request continue near relentlessly to the end. I received an eArc copy of the title from the publisher via NetGalley for purpose of honest review. I was not compensated for this review: all conclusions are my own responsibility.
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Third-party review
The third novel in No-one Ever Has Sex series from Tracy Bloom, No-one Ever Has Sex on Christmas Day is a laugh out loud book about a small circle of adults and the odd way life brings people together ...
Third-party review
This was one of the funniest romantic comedies I have read in a long time. I thoroughly enjoyed the British humor that had me staying up until quite late to finish this book. Katy and Ben are a ...

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