A Butt of Heads

Robot vs Dragons

Book 2
Bowman Press
Free sample

Events are unfolding at a breakneck pace in the Old Kingdom!

Laugh as your favourite characters spit in the face of danger ... then run for the hills.
Admire the verbal jousting and witty wordplay ... or is it the other way round?
Gasp as kings and queens lose their heads.
'Enjoy' the groanworthy puns and suffer the slings and arrows of poorly-trained archers.

But wait, there's more ...
Prepare to be amazed as you learn exactly what Clunk's building in his makeshift workshop!

This novel is a sequel to A Portion of Dragon and Chips, which must be read first to maximise your enjoyment and my royalties.

 

This parody is perfect for fans of Game of Thrones, Terry Pratchett's Discworld, Jasper Fforde and Tom Holt!

No sex, no swearing, just good clean fun suitable for adults and young adults alike. A humorous fantasy novel with dragons, wizards, elves, dwarves ... and a robot! Sure, there's a touch of dark humor, or humour, but it's all in the best possible taste.

Keywords: Humorous fantasy novel, book two in a trilogy, fantasy comedy book, fantasy humour, clean fantasy novels, young adult fantasy, ya comedy, parody novel, fantasy comedy novels, naval warfare, sailing ship battles

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About the author

Simon Haynes is the british-born, australian author of the Hal Spacejock, Harriet Walsh, Robot vs Dragons and Hal Junior series, as well as a number of short stories. His work typically features an underdog fighting for survival against far stronger opponents.

Simon is a huge fan of Isaac Asimov's work, in particular the robot novels and the Foundation series. He also enjoys dry, witty comedy, and loves satire.


 

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Additional Information

Publisher
Bowman Press
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Published on
Sep 30, 2018
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Pages
300
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Language
English
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Genres
Fiction / Fantasy / Action & Adventure
Fiction / Fantasy / Dragons & Mythical Creatures
Fiction / Fantasy / Epic
Fiction / Fantasy / General
Fiction / Fantasy / Humorous
Fiction / Humorous / General
Young Adult Fiction / Fantasy / Epic
Young Adult Fiction / Fantasy / General
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Content Protection
This content is DRM protected.
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Read Aloud
Available on Android devices
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Eligible for Family Library

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Dodge dragons, fight knights, help halflings ... it's tough being a robot in a medieval kingdom.
Worst of all, there's nowhere to recharge!

Welcome to the Old Kingdom!
Clunk, an elderly robot, just plunged into the sea off the coast of the Old Kingdom, and if he knew what was coming next he'd sit down on the ocean floor and wait for rescue.

Dragged onto the beach, coughing up seaweed, salty water and stray pieces of jellyfish, he's taken to the nearby city of Chatter's Reach, where he's given a sword and told to fight the Queen's Champion, Sur Loyne.

As if that wasn't bad enough, the locals still think the wheel is a pretty nifty idea, and Clunk's chances of finding spare parts - or his missing memory modules - are nil.

Still, Clunk is an optimist, and it's not long before he's embarking on a quest to find his way home.

Unfortunately it's going to be a very tough ask, given the lack of charging points in the medieval kingdom...

 This is the first novel in a three book series. Each book in the series continues plot lines and character arcs from the previous title, with everything wrapping up in book three. 


This parody is perfect for fans of Game of Thrones, Terry Pratchett's Discworld, Jasper Fforde and Tom Holt!

No sex, no swearing, just good clean fun suitable for adults and young adults alike. A humorous fantasy novel with dragons, wizards, elves, dwarves ... and a robot! Sure, there's a touch of dark humor, or humour, but it's all in the best possible taste.

 Keywords: Humorous fantasy novel, book one in a trilogy, fantasy comedy book, fantasy humour, clean fantasy novels, young adult fantasy, ya comedy, parody novel, fantasy comedy novels, medieval humour, wizard humor, robot books

Dodge dragons, fight knights, help halflings ... it's tough being a robot in a medieval kingdom.
Worst of all, there's nowhere to recharge!

Welcome to the Old Kingdom!
Clunk, an elderly robot, just plunged into the sea off the coast of the Old Kingdom, and if he knew what was coming next he'd sit down on the ocean floor and wait for rescue.

Dragged onto the beach, coughing up seaweed, salty water and stray pieces of jellyfish, he's taken to the nearby city of Chatter's Reach, where he's given a sword and told to fight the Queen's Champion, Sur Loyne.

As if that wasn't bad enough, the locals still think the wheel is a pretty nifty idea, and Clunk's chances of finding spare parts - or his missing memory modules - are nil.

Still, Clunk is an optimist, and it's not long before he's embarking on a quest to find his way home.

Unfortunately it's going to be a very tough ask, given the lack of charging points in the medieval kingdom...

 This is the first novel in a three book series. Each book in the series continues plot lines and character arcs from the previous title, with everything wrapping up in book three. 


This parody is perfect for fans of Game of Thrones, Terry Pratchett's Discworld, Jasper Fforde and Tom Holt!

No sex, no swearing, just good clean fun suitable for adults and young adults alike. A humorous fantasy novel with dragons, wizards, elves, dwarves ... and a robot! Sure, there's a touch of dark humor, or humour, but it's all in the best possible taste.

 Keywords: Humorous fantasy novel, book one in a trilogy, fantasy comedy book, fantasy humour, clean fantasy novels, young adult fantasy, ya comedy, parody novel, fantasy comedy novels, medieval humour, wizard humor, robot books

Get three books in one! Set in the distant future, where humanity spans the galaxy and robots are second-class citizens, Hal Spacejock will strike a chord with fans of Red Dwarf and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, while simultaneously forging its own wacky, off-beat path through the cosmos.

Hal Spacejock Omnibus One contains the first three books in the Hal Spacejock series (A Robot Named Clunk, Second Course, and Just Desserts) PLUS a bonus short story: Hal Spacejock Visit.

Hal Spacejock 1: A Robot Named Clunk Clunk's grateful when his boss sends him off for a refit, because old robots are usually junked instead.

Since the upgrade centre is on the next planet, Clunk's asked to perform a trivial little task while he's there: help a freelancer pick up some cargo.

It's a simple job, straight in and out ... but don't be late.

How can he refuse? Clunk's a certified co-pilot, so landing in a deserted field under cover of darkness, avoiding customs ships, orbital lasers and trigger-happy warships along the way, is not a problem.

Unfortunately the freelance pilot is a much bigger challenge, because Hal Spacejock is obstinate, over-confident, and woefully under-skilled, and yet he refuses to cede control of his ship to a mere robot.

Worse, Hal's only got 24 hours to pay off his debts, or he'll lose his ship ... and his life.

Can the two of them sort out their differences and deliver the cargo, or will they still be wrestling over the controls when both deadlines expire?

A Robot Named Clunk is one part buddy movie, two parts laughter and three parts madcap adventure.

Hal Spacejock 2: Second Course Hal Spacejock’s cargo business is going so well he’s considering getting into passengers ... especially the beautiful and mysterious Sonya Polarov.
Meanwhile, Rex Curtis runs the galaxy’s biggest freight company, and he’s sick of independent pilots stealing his cargo jobs. He’s determined to make a statement by destroying the biggest nuisance of them all: Hal Spacejock. And all he has to do is ensure Hal’s latest cargo job ends in disaster.
Unaware of the threat and distracted by Sonya, Hal’s time-sensitive cargo sits aboard his ship while the deadline looms ever closer. If he doesn’t get a move on, the late fees will ruin him ... and cost him his life into the bargain.

Hal Spacejock 3: Just Desserts Cargo pilot Hal Spacejock has a problem: his hold is stuffed full of expensive food, and the cheap freezer equipment he bought from Bent Jimmy has just failed ... exactly as Clunk predicted.
Hal needs replacement parts before his cargo rots, and he's forced to abandon his precious ship at the spaceport to go looking for them. Which is a pity, because an secret agent has just decided Hal's ship is ideal for an urgent mission.
Can Hal find the new parts and return before it's too late, or will he lose his ship, his cargo and his livelihood ... again?

Hal Spacejock Visit Hal returns to his ship after a shopping expedition and finds Clunk in a right old state. Break out the crayons and colouring sheets ... they're booked in for a school visit!

Omnibus Two, containing Hal Spacejock books 4-6, is also available.

 Keywords: scific, british scifi, funny science fiction novel, science fiction action adventure humor, science fiction comedy adventure, science fiction books, scifi ebooks, scifi bargain, science fiction omnibus, robot books, red dawrf

Clunk, a clapped-out robot, is convinced he's about to be junked. Instead, his penny-pinching boss is sending him off to be refurbished.

Being old and wise, Clunk knows there's a catch, but at first it doesn't seem too bad. He just has to help a freelancer pick up some cargo.

Unfortunately, Hal Spacejock - the freelancer - is obstinate, over-confident, and woefully under-skilled, and he's never going to let a lowly robot fly his precious ship.

Is there any chance this pair of misfits can lift off, collect the cargo and deliver it in one piece? Or will they fly straight into the nearest star, still bickering and fighting over the controls?



Set in the distant future, where humanity spans the galaxy and robots are second-class citizens, A Robot Named Clunk is the first novel in the Hal Spacejock series. (The first three novels are available in a boxed set called Hal Spacejock Omnibus One, which is cheaper than buying them individually. Hal Spacejock Omnibus Two is also available.)

These novels are self-contained, with a beginning, a middle and a proper ending. They're not sequels, they don't end on a cliffhanger, and you could start or end your journey with any book in the series. Some events from earlier books are referenced in later ones, so it makes sense to read them in order, but it's not essential.

If you get a smile or two out of Hal and Clunk's first outing, you will love the rest of the series.

These comedy scifi novels are perfect for fans of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Doctor Who, Space Team, Space Police, and Red Dwarf.

Keywords: scific, british scifi, funny science fiction novel, science fiction action adventure humor, science fiction comedy adventure, robot books, robots and empire, Galactic Empires, hhgttg

 

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