When you feel isolated and alone, the world can seem like an enormously unfamiliar, confusing, and scary place. You may get caught up in your own thoughts and feelings, and even avoid connecting with others out of fear of being criticized, misunderstood, or uncomfortable—which only leads to more isolation and loneliness. This cycle can be hard to break, but you are not doomed to endure this painful condition of feeling lost and alone. This book can help you find authentic peace, confidence, and connection with all that is, right here and now.
Living the Life That You Are examines the modern-day dilemma of loneliness, revealing that its root cause is the belief that we’re all separate individuals bound by personal limitations. We feel disconnected and incomplete, assuming that life’s fullness exists somewhere out there, and that we must be, do, or have more for lasting fulfillment. But the truth is, despite our limited appearance, we are actually boundless. There is no divide between our internal and external worlds. This is the ancient philosophy of non-duality—we are the wholeness we are seeking.
The life that you are is all that is right now: every texture, flavor, fragrance, sight, and sound in their abundance. Using radical mindfulness—a combination of mindfulness and non-dual self-inquiry—this book will guide you toward awakening to the transformative truth and love that is your foundational being. By learning to observe, acknowledge, and question your experience without censorship or prejudice, your sense of being lost and alone will give way to an enriching and comforting state of communion with all.
Includes music downloads for a radically mindful soundtrack
Many of us carry an ingrained belief that we’re somehow inadequate and that we’re separate and alone, which can lead to a general dissatisfaction with life, conflicts with others, and an estrangement from ourselves that causes us to look outward for what we feel is lacking. When we look outside rather than looking within, it’s easy to find ways to confirm our false beliefs about ourselves. With the Living Inquiries, you’ll be able to see your mistaken belief in the “core deficient self” and realize the essential oneness that exists in the here and now.
Starting with the Boomerang Inquiry and the Panorama Inquiry, two self-inquisitive processes of the Living Inquiries, you’ll learn to identify and explore the stories you tell yourself that underlie the challenges and disharmony you experience. Then, once you’ve cracked the foundation of the false deficient self, you’ll use the Unfindable Inquiry and one simple question—Is that you?—to reveal that you are not who or what you’ve taken yourself to be.
No matter what it is you struggle with—anxiety, depression, relationships, trauma, addiction—it’s likely that painful self-judgments, and the belief that you’re separate from the world around you, are at the root of your suffering. With The Unfindable Inquiry, you’ll discover how to finally break free from your false sense of self and separation, and experience a more fulfilling life.
More and more, psychologists are turning away from an emphasis on self-esteem and moving toward self-compassion in the treatment of their patients—and Dr. Neff’s extraordinary book offers exercises and action plans for dealing with every emotionally debilitating struggle, be it parenting, weight loss, or any of the numerous trials of everyday living.