A Story or Two to Tell

Alan Crawford

Jan 2025 · Stories to Tell Collection Book 1 · Alan Crawford

About this ebook

A Story or Two to Tell is a wildly entertaining, darkly funny, and refreshingly original collection that marks the beginning of the Stories to Tell Collection. Written by Australian author Alan Crawford, this memoir-fiction hybrid follows a sardonic, retired Environmental Health Officer reflecting on a career filled with bureaucratic absurdity and personal mishaps. From the vantage point of an aged care complex, the narrator spins unvarnished, interconnected tales to an ever-growing audience, blending a healthy dose of grumpiness with a razor-sharp level of sarcasm.

This volume presents two bold stories alongside a "fanciful resume" that serves as a chaotic introduction to the narrator’s warped imagination.

The first story dives into a complicated underworld of reluctant food operators, outlaw bike clubs, cult-like church leadership, and the ownership of adult entertainment venues.

The second story provides a brutal look at gruesome murders and the quest to catch those responsible, following a man who applies a lethal approach to satisfying his needs.

Aimed at a mature audience, Crawford’s prose mimics oral storytelling, complete with hilarious tangents and unfiltered observations about social hypocrisy and institutional incompetence. The narrator is intentionally presented without "heroic gloss"—he is crude, politically incorrect, and often self-serving, yet he offers genuine insight into human nature and the frustrations of aging.

Inspired by the wondrously weird styles of Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams, this collection is designed for readers who have a strong stomach and a love for cynical, "no sugar, no cream" dark humour. At just 66 pages, it is a quick, hard-hitting read for those seeking an authentic, unpolished voice that prioritises entertaining chaos over literary pretension.

About the author

I am an increasingly bored and somewhat grumpy old man trying to bring a smile to others. I live on the Gold Coast in Australia and watch the rest of this mixed-up world with growing concern. This level of concern is becoming more pronounced. I hope you enjoy my stories, as there are more to come.