The Velocipastor

2019 • 70 minutes

About this movie

A Man of the Claw. - After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. At first horrified by this new power, a prostitute convinces him to use it to fight crime. And ninjas.

Ratings and reviews

This is one of the most profoundly exquisite pieces of filmography I've ever had the blessing of laying my eyes upon. The popcorn withheld in my hands gained more salt from the tears of joy I excreted. From the hyper-realistic fire in the beginning to the agonizing bloodbath in the final hoorah. From horror to blossoming romance between our father and the hooker-doctor-lawyer. The SFX team really hit it out of the park. If Gordon Ramsay saw this movie he would soil himself with joy as I did.

the quote at the end changed my life. now whenever i go to church, all i can tell the priest to turn into a velociraptor to prove that he's the dragon warrior. only downside is that master oogua told anakin to kill the unicorn. other than that, 10/10, would fap again

I am starstruck by the amount of effort put into this movie. Clearly an underdog for this generation of movies. Nothing like it since Sharknado.