In "The Simpsons Guy" episode of FAMILY GUY, Peter and the Griffins get out of dodge and end up in Springfield, where they are greeted by a friendly stranger named Homer Simpson (guest voice Dan Castellaneta), who welcomes his new "albino" friends with open arms. The families get along famously: Stewie and Bart (guest voice Nancy Cartwright) make out like bandits when Stewie trades in his mind control device for a good old-fashioned slingshot; Lisa (guest voice Yeardley Smith) takes Meg under her wing and teaches her the saxophone; and Peter and Homer fight over the best beer in town.
Peter helps Joe realize his dream of publishing a book, but things get out of hand when Peter takes over as the author. Meanwhile, Brian starts exercising to the extreme after experiencing a euphoric runner's high for the first time.
On the night before Thanksgiving, Brian and Peter drunkenly devour the holiday bird, and then must go out to find a replacement. In Peter's absence, Chris attempts to step up and become the man-of-the-house.
After running into Jesus at the Quahog Mall, Peter is stunned to discover that the Son of God is still a virgin. So, he enlists Quagmire and Cleveland to help him throw Jesus the best birthday ever by finding a way to help him become a man.
Meg convinces Brian to take the SAT’s for her, but when he tests poorly, they start to suspect that Brian might not be that smart after all. Peter decides to spend the day showing Brian the joys of being stupid and the benefits of having a low IQ.
Meg is thrilled to be recruited as a model, but it turns out to be for a very specific type of modeling: the foot-fetish industry. Meanwhile, Brian accompanies Stewie on an open-road adventure when Stewie decides he wants to experience life outside of preschool.
Lois takes Peter to open a checking account, and they discover that his first name is actually Justin, which Peter adopts as the name of his younger “bro”-style alter-ego. Then, Peter/Justin throws a party, during which Quagmire unknowingly gets into some trouble with his mother.
Peter, Quagmire, Joe and Cleveland form a neighborhood detective agency, and are stunned to discover that Chris is a thief. Meanwhile, Lois is worried about Chris’ delusional relationship with his new girlfriend, but also sees it as an opportunity for Peter to copy Chris’ romantic gestures.
Brian decides he doesn’t want to hang out with Stewie anymore, so Stewie tries to save their relationship by having a baby … or seven … by using Brian’s DNA to impregnate himself. Meanwhile, Peter, Joe, Quagmire and Cleveland attempt to make a viral video.
Meg gets a new job at the airport, where she’s instantly popular for being the hottest employee there. Meanwhile, Cleveland becomes a therapist and starts giving Peter and Lois relationship advice, but Peter quickly becomes frustrated and threatens to tell Donna a big secret about what went down at Cleveland’s bachelor party.
Peter becomes a town hero for accidentally finding a missing boy. Meanwhile, Joe decides to live life to the fullest by quitting his job and taking a road trip to Niagara Falls with Peter, Quagmire and Cleveland.
After attending obedience school, Brian becomes much more submissive, and Peter realizes he misses his old, feistier pal. Meanwhile, Chris makes a new friend at school, but feels betrayed when he discovers it was all a ploy to get closer to Meg.
Peter befriends a group of mean girls after his feelings are hurt when his so-called friends decide to “roast” him. Lois, all too familiar with the gossipy nature of women, tells Peter they are probably talking about him behind his back, and Peter soon discovers that Lois may be right.
Peter claims he would beat Liam Neeson in a fight, but when he is put to the test, he learns that winning is tougher than it seems. Meanwhile, Stewie becomes jealous when Lois decides to be a class mom and starts paying more attention to the other kids over him.
Lois books a fun couple’s vacation in the Bahamas. But, much to Peter’s surprise, it turns out to be a marriage counseling program instead. Meanwhile, Carter watches the kids at home and becomes frustrated that they’re too into their electronics to play games the old-fashioned way. So he tries to fix it himself.
Peter discovers that he has a vestigial twin, whom he names Chip, growing out of his neck. It's not long before Peter resents the fact that everyone seems to love Chip more than him, so he decides to amputate his twin. However, when Peter gets into trouble, he realizes he needs Chip more than ever.
When Quagmire meets a woman named Sonja, who is as sexually insatiable as he is, he is thrilled to finally be with someone who won't judge him. However, things take a turn for the worse when Sonja abducts Quagmire, intending to make him her sex slave. It is up to Peter, Joe and Quagmire's dad to explore the seedy underbelly of Quahog to find and rescue Quagmire. Meanwhile, a love triangle emerges between Stewie, Brian and Stewie's teddy bear, Rupert.
Meg spills her lunch on the new kid, Michael, who is appropriately nicknamed "Mental Mike." When he sets the date for her end on Friday, Meg tries to get out of it. Meanwhile, Peter continually harasses Brian in the nude until it escalates to the breaking point.
When Stewie and Brian travel back to 17th century Jamestown, via Stewie's time machine, they encounter too many close calls with altering the course of mankind. Stewie decides to destroy his time machine, but immediately regrets his decision when an unthinkable event happens and he is unable to go back in time.
When Peter and Quagmire discover that their singing voices create beautiful harmony together, they form a singing/songwriting team, in the vein of Simon and Garfunkel. However, tensions run high when fame gets to Peter's head.
When Carter Pewterschmidt cancels the annual Quahog Christmas carnival, because he hates the holiday, Peter must transform his father-in-law from a Scrooge into a hometown hero in order to salvage the event. Meanwhile, Stewie devises a master plan to get the one and only thing he wants for Christmas.
When Brian's neglected son Dylan shows up in town as a teen TV star, Brian jumps at the opportunity to be hired on the show's writing staff -- instead of being a good father. Meanwhile, after Peter accidentally shoots Quagmire on a hunting trip, the two friends clash and Joe must choose a side. BONUS: Two ANIMATION DOMINATION HIGH-DEF episodes included for free in this download.
After Peter's mother passes away, he forms a special friendship with her longtime pal, Evelyn, who attempts to seduce Peter. Meanwhile, Stewie is distraught when he understands the reality of death for the first time.
Peter grows frustrated when players on opposing teams continue to thank God after defeating his beloved New England Patriots football team, so he and the guys embark on a global quest to find God and ask Him to stop interfering with the outcome of professional football games.
Peter takes up smoking cigarettes, and is approached by Mr. Stone, an advertising executive who wants Peter to be the face of his anti-smoking campaign under the caveat that Peter continues to smoke. Meanwhile, Stewie helps Chris battle bullies at school.
When Peter takes Stewie to the park for some quality father-son time, he mistakenly takes the wrong baby home, prompting Lois to call him an idiot. Determined to prove to her that he's a responsible adult, Peter goes on a business trip to Chicago and returns as an intelligent, classy person.
When Peter and Chris interrupt Stewie's TV time, the angry baby goes back in time to break up Peter and Lois, so he's never conceived. But instead, he is reborn into a "Downton Abbey"-esque British household.
In the season premiere, the Griffins decide to climb Mount Everest after their competitive family friends announce their ambitious plans to hike the legendary mountain. However, things go awry when the Griffins get stuck on the mountainside in the middle of a massive storm.
The Griffins are selected to be a Nielsen family and have their television viewing habits monitored. However, Peter takes his enthusiasm too far when he steals multiple Nielsen boxes and tries to control the airwaves.
When Brian discovers that Carter Pewterschmidt's pharmaceutical company is withholding the cure for cancer from the public in order to gain more profit, he and Stewie plot to expose the big secret that could change the world. Meanwhile, Quagmire reveals a hair-raising secret of his own.
When Brian uses Stewie's time machine to impress women whom he meets at bars, he accidentally causes time to run in reverse. So he and Stewie must figure out how to restore the forward progress of time before Stewie is unborn.
In the Family Guy 200th Episode retrospective, fans will get a behind-the-scenes look at this irreverent comedy's most outrageous moments, through fascinating interviews with creator Seth MacFarlane and voice actors Mila Kunis, Alex Borstein and Seth Green. Additionally, the special will give fans an exclusive glimpse into the cast and crew's 200th episode party in Los Angeles.
Lois experiences a mid-life crisis, and Peter tries to keep up with her new, wild lifestyle. Meanwhile, Stewie finds a turtle at the park and brings him home as his new pet, unaware that the turtle is evil and determined to destroy Stewie's life.
When Meg finally gathers the courage to ask out her crush, Kent, she is devastated to learn he's gay. But when Meg discovers that Kent has feelings for Chris, she uses her brother in the worst way to get closer to Kent.
To boost Chris' self-esteem, Peter and Lois send him to space camp. When camp ends and the Griffins come to pick Chris up, they accidentally are launched into outer space, and it's up to Chris to land the clan safely back on earth.
Brian writes a play that's a hit in Quahog, but his confidence is shaken when he reads a play Stewie wrote that's much better than his. Soon, Stewie's work is Broadway-bound, causing a rift between the two.
Love is in the air on ValentineÍs Day. Meg dates a guy from the internet, Stewie uses his time machine and falls for a girl in the ï60s and Peter and Lois decide to stay in bed all day. Meanwhile, BrianÍs ex-girlfriends pay him a visit and Quagmire gets in touch with his feminine side.
To buy new sneakers, Chris steals money from Lois' purse. When Meg catches him in the act, she forces him to do all of her chores in exchange for keeping mum. But Chris finally tires of the pact, and runs away to live with Herbert. Meanwhile, Stewie and Brian become obsessed with singer Anne Murray (guest-voicing as herself), and visit her to find out the true meaning of "Snowbird".
When the Griffins find themselves in a financial bind, Lois is forced to find a job of her own. She gets discovered by a "voiceover" talent agent named Randy (guest voice Ribisi), who actually runs an adult-only phone line and pays his employees generously. As Lois settles into her new gig, she hears Peter's voice on the other end of the line.
When Peter, Quagmire and Joe fly on a private plane to Canada, they crash in the middle of the wilderness, far from civilization. Peter is chosen to find help, but ends up going missing for two months, only to be found as a feral creature with no ability to communicate intelligently. The Griffins must find a way to bring back Peter to his old self.
After teddy bear Rupert gets recalled, Stewie stops at nothing to get back his beloved best friend. Meanwhile, Peter falls ill and can't compete in his bowling tournament. So Lois fills in for him. But when she gets a little too close to Peter's teammates, he gets jealous.
Stewie and Brian use StewieÍs time machine to go to Las Vegas for a Bette Midler concert, but chaos ensues when the machine malfunctions and creates alt-versions of the pair: a ñluckyî version and an ñunluckyî one. Then, the Griffins are invited to join the prestigious Barrington Country Club and, of course, get thrown out. Download part 1 now!
Stewie and Brian use Stewieês time machine to go to Las Vegas for a Bette Midler concert, but chaos ensues when the machine malfunctions and creates alt-versions of the pair: a lucky version and an unlucky one. Then, the Griffins are invited to join the prestigious Barrington Country Club and, of course, get thrown out. Download part 2 now!
Peter blows his savings on lottery tickets and the family writes it off as one of his usual shenanigans until they end up millionaires. In true Griffin fashion, they can't handle the good fortune and struggle to stay grounded.
In an unprecedented ANIMATION DOMINATION crossover event, a storm hits the towns of Stoolbend, Quahog and Langley Falls. To help pass the time and calm his nerves, Brian consumes some questionable substances and has trouble sobering up. Meanwhile, Meg goes off the deep end after the family takes one too many jabs at her.
Ryan Reynolds (guest voice as himself) pays a visit to Quahog and becomes obsessed with Peter Griffin. Meanwhile, Stewie tries to be a big boy and steals the family car for a joy ride but lands in a bit of trouble.
On the return from an adventurous day at an amusement park, the Griffins' car breaks down in Amish country and they are stranded with no way out. When Meg falls for an Amish boy, the Griffins then find themselves in a crusade against the conservative locals.
Peter and the guys take a stand against their wives and flee to the Deep South on a road trip. On the way there, the men earn a one-way ticket to jail. But when they decide to make a run for it, Joe's quick planning and Peter's seductive ways help them escape. Meanwhile, Lois spends some quality time with the girls and they engage in childish antics.
It's winter in Quahog, and Lois' parents, Carter and Babs, take Stewie for a trip. But when Carter falls asleep at the wheel, the family decides it might be time for him to retire. Peter and Lois take the clan to Florida to check out some fine retirement communities, but Carter refuses to go down without a fight.
Brian starts dating a blind girl and things get a little dicey when she divulges that she hates dogs. Meanwhile, the Griffin family installs a new staircase in their home when Peter keeps falling on the old one and decides to live upstairs full-time.
When Meg finally turns 18, Quagmire seizes the opportunity to pursue his next romantic conquest. As the new couple's relationship blossoms, Peter stops at nothing to come in between his innocent -- well, somewhat innocent -- daughter and his creepy friend.
When Stewie's new best friend falls ill, Lois takes him to the hospital where she finds out he has a critical, but treatable, disease. However, the boy's parents refuse treatment due to their religious beliefs, leaving Lois no choice but to take drastic measures to seek treatment for the boy herself. Meanwhile, Peter has a religious experience of his own.
When Peter decides to become a famous actor, he becomes Tom Tucker's agent as his first step toward stardom. Meanwhile, Chris dates a girl who looks disturbingly like a member of the Griffin household.
When Peter and the guys try to salvage a sunken Mercedes-Benz, Peter half-heartedly promises a favor to a helpful dolphin (guest voice Ricky Gervais). Soon the dolphin moves to Quahog, outstays his welcome at Peter's and moves into Cleveland's house across the street. Peter tries to reunite the dolphin with his ex-wife in hopes that he'll return to the ocean, but his plan backfires and the whole dolphin family moves into Cleveland's.
Overwhelmed with financial troubles, Mort asks Peter and Quagmire to help him save his pharmacy. However, things take a turn for the worse when the trio decides to burn it down to collect insurance money.
After Peter's favorite children's television show gets cancelled, he takes matters into his own hands by creating and starring in his own show for kids. Meanwhile, Meg begins an internship at the hospital with Dr. Hartman.
Stewie meets a girl who's just as precocious as he is, and it turns out that they have much in common (including a love of advanced weaponry). Meanwhile, Lois is tired of being crushed in bed by the sleeping Peter, so she gets twin beds. This upsets Peter, who needs to cuddle to fall asleep.
After Quahog City Hall threatens to shut down Peter's illegally-run business, Peter joins the Tea Party and successfully campaigns to shut down the government. As a result of all the chaos in Quahog, Peter's father-in-law, Carter (guest star Seth MacFarlane), reaps the benefits.
Continuing a popular show tradition, Brian and Stewie respond to viewer mail. We meet a British version of the Griffins, Quahog is taken over by a famous comedian and we get to see the world from Stewie's POV. Then, Peter encourages Joe to have a one-night stand with his attractive new partner (guest star Anna Kendrick) in order to even the score with Bonnie (guest star Jennifer Tilly) for her own indiscretions. But when Bonnie finds out and threatens divorce, Lois insists that Peter get them back together. Meanwhile, Peter has another run-in with the angry chicken which makes for yet another epic fight. Download part 1 now!
Continuing a popular show tradition, Brian and Stewie respond to viewer mail. We meet a British version of the Griffins, Quahog is taken over by a famous comedian and we get to see the world from Stewie's POV. Then, Peter encourages Joe to have a one-night stand with his attractive new partner (guest star Anna Kendrick) in order to even the score with Bonnie (guest star Jennifer Tilly) for her own indiscretions. But when Bonnie finds out and threatens divorce, Lois insists that Peter get them back together. Meanwhile, Peter has another run-in with the angry chicken which makes for yet another epic fight. Download part 2 now!
When the Griffins and other residents of Quahog are invited to visit the mansion of James Woods, the evening turns into a real murder mystery when guests end up dead and everyone scrambles to figure out who done it. Guest voices Drew Barrymore, James Woods and Ashley Tisdale.
When Brian learns that Rush Limbaugh (guest-voicing as himself) is going to be at the Quahog Mall for a book-signing, he decides to go down there and give him a piece of his left-wing mind. But when Rush unexpectedly comes to Brian's rescue, Brian has a political change of heart.
After Peter catches Lois' dad, Carter, having an affair, he is strong-armed into keeping a secret. But when Peter accidentally spills the beans, Lois' mom demands a divorce, and Peter is in charge of Carter's return to bachelorhood.
Peter and Joe team up to execute a series of painful and humiliating Halloween pranks on unsuspecting family, friends and neighbors. While Brian shows Stewie the ropes of trick-or-treating, Meg sets out to attend her first high school Halloween party with high hopes for the evening.
When Peter receives tickets to a boxing match as a birthday gift, he volunteers Lois to compete. To everyone's surprise, Lois dominates in the ring, and Peter decides to become her fight promoter. Her frustration with Peter turns into motivation in the ring as the housewife turns champion.
Feeling discouraged with the progress of his writing career, Brian decides to throw in the towel until Stewie become his manager and one of his books hits the bestseller list. But when the fame goes to his head, Brian gets a wake-up call from Bill Maher (guest-voicing as himself). Meanwhile, Lois decides that she and Peter need separate beds, a decision that leaves Peter looking for a new cuddle buddy.
Stewie's favorite thing after his teddy bear, Rupert, is Christmas. So when he hears that Santa is making an appearance at the mall, he begs Brian to take him so that he can tell Santa in person what he wants for Christmas. Brian begrudgingly takes Stewie to the mall, only to get the brush-off from Santa. As a result, Stewie and Brian travel to the North Pole to find Santa and teach him a lesson in holiday cheer. David Boreanaz, Drew Barrymore and Carrie Fisher make guest voice appearances. Don't miss this hilarious one-hour Family Guy episode!
After years of drinking with the guys, Peter's love of the sauce has finally caught up with him and he needs a kidney transplant. Brian offers him one of his, but will a canine kidney be compatible -- Meanwhile, Meg and Chris collaborate on a poem to celebrate a very important visitor.
Lois becomes friends with Joyce Kinney, the new local news anchor, and Joyce convinces Lois to let her do a story on her as the model American housewife. The television story makes Lois look terrible, and Joyce is unapologetic, leaving Lois no choice but to right a wrong.
After a public disturbance, Peter and Brian are forced to attend a 12-step meeting to help kick their drinking problems. Unable to recognize his issue, Peter gets a visit from Death (guest voice Adam Carolla), who gives him a glimpse of what life would be like with and without "Mr. Booze" in his bloodstream.
On the search to find a new hobby, Chris meets a puppeteer named Franz, an old friend of Herbert's. Despite Herbert's warnings, Chris and Franz remain friends until Franz's checkered past is suddenly revealed.
When Bonnie goes out of town, Meg offers to check in on Joe, but she soon becomes a little too involved and starts freaking everyone out -- especially Joe. Meanwhile, Stewie thinks he's losing his edge as the toughest baby on the block, so he hooks himself up to a machine that is supposed to make him more evil than ever before.
Chris and Meg think their parents have it easy, and Peter and Lois beg to differ, so in order to teach them a lesson, they all trade roles. Chris goes to work at the brewery while Meg runs the house. While things start off well, it's not long until the stress of running a household and being the sole breadwinner break down Chris and Meg.
When the local dry cleaner loses Peter's favorite white shirt, he goes ballistic. Meanwhile, Brian tries to score on a date with a new friend, Denise (guest voice Jessica Stroup), but ends up striking out. Instead of calling it quits on love, he decides to enlist Quagmire's help, but things get nasty when they start to compete for the affections of each other's old flames, Cheryl Tiegs (guest-voicing as herself) and Jillian (guest voice Drew Barrymore).
When Mayor West marries Lois' sister, Carol (guest voice Julie Hagerty), they move into the Griffin's house to be one big "happy" family. To make room for everyone, Stewie is bumped out of his room and takes over Chris' room, but not everyone is annoyed by the change. Peter and Mayor West bond and become best friends.
With the help of an out-of-this-world remote control, Stewie and Brian travel through alternate universes, including a post-apocalyptic world, a parallel world run by dogs where humans are pets and a "Robot Chicken"-like existence.
When Lois finds a lump on her breast, she goes to the doctor to test for cancer. The tests come back benign, but the doctor looks at her family medical history and surprises her with the news that she's Jewish. Peter takes to the family's newfound faith a little too eagerly, but when he is visited by the ghost of his father who reminds him to be faithful to his religious identity, he turns on Lois. After a visit from Jesus sets him straight, Peter and Lois agree to go back to the way things were.
Stewie and Brian are suspicious when two guys move into Cleveland's old house, and when they find out Dan (guest voice Aykroyd) and Chevy (guest voice Chase) are spies and they have dossiers of all the people in Quahog they follow them on a mission to Russia and end up in hot water.
When Stewie scores tickets to a famous teen pop singer's concert, he ends up meeting and becoming great friends with her, but things get weird when he discovers one of her darkest secrets. Meanwhile, Chris tries to prove to the family that the Evil Monkey is real.
Feeling blue, Peter and the guys interview potential friends to fill the vacancy left by Cleveland. The interview process leads them to Jerome (guest voice Richardson) but things don't look so good when it's discovered that Quagmire hates him.
When Brian accidentally kills another dog he is surprised to see that no one cares so he tries to convince everyone that the life of a dog should have the same value as a human one. Meanwhile, Lois hires a maid who doesn't listen to Peter.
When Peter gives Lois' father the bachelor party he never had, Mr. Pewterschmidt slips into a coma and not even Dr. House can bring him out of it. With her father incapacitated, Lois is given control of Pewterschmidt Industries. Peter convinces Lois to let him run the operation, but he gets power-hungry and fires the board. Mr. Pewterschmidt soon bounces back and tries to regain control of what he's built -- even though it may be more difficult than Christmas shopping for Peter.
After Peter hits his head and develops amnesia, he forgets everything, including his family and his friends. Lois takes extra care of Peter and tries everything to jog his memory and until he starts hitting on other women. Fed up with his antics, Lois takes the kids and leaves, giving Quagmire his opportunity to swoop in and score.
Brian gets a gig writing for a teen magazine about the average American girl, but when he starts trailing Meg for research he discovers that her desperate attempts at dating have led her to a guy in the slammer. When Brian tries to expose Meg's secret to the family, he finds that her boyfriend, Luke (guest voice Chace Crawford), has broken out of jail and has been hiding in the Griffin's house.
When Chris and Stewie go missing for several days, Lois is at her wit's end until she sees a psychic who assures her they are safe. Even after the boys return home, Lois and Peter's psychic obsession continues, and Peter takes it a step too far when he starts charging neighbors for his extrasensory perception. Meanwhile, Chris develops a crush on a girl at school.
Stewie wants to audition for his favorite show, "Jolly Farm," but when he finds out they are only auditioning little girls, he creates an alter ego by dressing up a la "Tootsie." Meanwhile, Meg finds herself a normal guy to date and shocks the entire city of Quahog.
After Peter has some luck selling footage of a celebrity he caught off-guard, he decides to become a full-time paparazzo. To make matters worse, his new boss, Angela (guest voice Carrie Fisher), finds him irresistible and plagues him with unwanted advances. When Peter rebuffs her, he winds up getting the ax. Meanwhile, Stewie makes his theatrical debut in a school play, only to be overcome with stage fright.
When Lois reads Brian's pilot script, she falls in love with it and insists that he meet with network executives to pitch it. The execs respond positively, and the initial casting session goes well with Elijah Wood (guest-voicing as himself) auditioning for the lead role. But when the suits insist that Brian hire James Woods (guest-voicing as himself) and change the entire concept, Brian finds himself caught between a rock and a hard place. Meanwhile, Chris and Meg seriously injure Stewie and try to cover it up.
When the local news announces that the Earth will be destroyed by a black hole in 24 hours, everyone in Quahog goes nuts trying to live out their last day. Stan and Francine Smith from AMERICAN DAD and Hank Hill from KING OF THE HILL make guest appearances.
In the special one-hour 150th episode event set in real time, Brian and Stewie (voices of Seth MacFarlane) get locked in a bank vault where they are forced to deal with each other on a whole new level. The episode also includes never-before-seen musical footage on the very special 150th episode of Family Guy!
When Brian meets Carolyn, the girl of his dreams, he decides to follow Stewie's advice to take things slow. This drives Carolyn crazy, and she soon moves on to another man. When Brian discovers Cleveland is the new man, he does whatever it takes (even if it means involving Cleveland's ex-wife, Loretta) to win Carolyn back.
When Peter re-discovers his love for the painfully annoying yet seductively catchy tune "The Bird's the Word," Brian and Stewie decide to take matters into their own hands to ensure that the song will never be heard again! On the verge of tears, Peter goes to every record store in Quahog to track down his beloved jingle, when he runs into a familiar face. Realizing that it is the one and only Jesus Christ, Peter wants the world to know that he and J.C. are BFFs.
When Mort accidentally steps into a time machine, Brian and Stewie follow him in order to bring him back. But when they discover they're in Poland on the day of the Nazi invasion, things go from bad to worse and the trio has to find a way back to Quahog safely.
Peter wins a year of unlimited gas, and Brian suggests that the family use the funds to take a road trip to the Grand Canyon. So the Griffins pack up the car and hit the road, but leave some very precious cargo at home. When the family finally realizes that they have left behind one of their own, it's a mad, explosive, hilarious dash back to Quahog.
After watching Johnny Knoxville on "Jackass," Peter and the guys film their own shenanigans. When Brian gets hurt, the family worries that he's getting too old, so Peter brings home a new dog. Everything is great until the "new Brian" crosses the line and humps Stewie's favorite toy.
After being pregnant for seven years, Bonnie finally gives birth to a beautiful baby girl named Susie! Stewie quickly falls for the little tyke and vows to do anything to win her heart and get in her diaper. Meanwhile, Joe borrows $20,000 from a bookie to pay for Bonnie's medical bills, but then plans to steal the money from Mr. Pewterschmidt to pay his debt.
To help pay off his incredible debt, Peter participates in medical experiments to make some extra cash. First, he is injected with the "Seth Rogen" gene (guest voice Rogen) that "gives you the appearance of being funny even though you haven't actually done anything funny." Then he is injected with a gene that leads him to a new mate, leaving a broken-hearted Lois behind. Although the family is crushed, they quickly realize the most important thing is that Peter is happy.
Peter cashes in a raffle ticket from 1989 and wins is a golf outing with O.J. Simpson. When Peter befriends the infamous former running back and brings him home to meet the family, the residents of Quahog aren't so welcoming to the new houseguest and tell him to take a hike.
The Griffin family heads to the annual Quahog "Star Trek" convention, but Stewie blows a fuse when he doesn't get a chance to ask his favorite "Star Trek: The Next Generation" cast members any questions. He devises a plan, builds a transporter and beams the entire cast to his bedroom so they can spend a fun-filled day together in Quahog.
After Stewie gets his baby butt kicked by Joe's infant daughter, he starts hitting the gym with Peter. It seems like all of Stewie's hard work is paying off until Peter drops a bombshell when he reveals just how Stewie got those six-pack abs. Meanwhile, Chris starts to date a popular girl at school and quickly realizes that popularity is like physics -- as in what goes up must come down.
When Brian discovers that his beloved Jillian (guest voice Drew Barrymore) is getting married to her new boyfriend, he hits the sauce to drown his sorrows away but wakes up with more than just a hang-over. After realizing that he has just pick-up "The Hills" star Lauren Conrad (voiced by herself) he wants to run and hide until he discovers that she is nothing like what she's portrayed on TV. Well educated, articulate and quite accomplished, Brian may have found his perfect match if he can let the love of his life go.
After Peter discovers the writing of Stephen King, he imagines his family and friends in three of King's most famous works. First, Peter, Quagmire, Cleveland and Joe -- as 12-year-olds -- travel along a railroad track on a journey of self-discovery narrated by Richard Dreyfuss (guest-voicing as himself). Second, Brian is injured in a bad car crash only to be "rescued" by his "number one fan," Stewie. Finally, Cleveland and Peter become fast friends in prison.
Peter has his palm read by a psychic who reveals that he had a fascinating past life as Griffin Peterson, a dignified gentleman who vied for the love of Lady Redbush in 17th century England and in the newly founded American colony of Quahog. It was a time of great love and adventure where King Stewart reigned supreme, the smartest dog in the room was the court jester, army lieutenants were merely boys and even old England loved "How I Met Your Mother" (Jason Segel, Neil Patrick Harris and Josh Radnor guest-voice).
When Peter convinces Brian to move in with his dense girlfriend Jillian, she ends up smothering him, but he keeps her around for the lovin'. Stewie moves in with them to help pay the rent, but he tries to get Brian back on the playing field by throwing him a drunken party and interfering with their relationship. Meanwhile, Meg gets a job at the local convenience store, as does Chris, who gets chummy with the manager, Carl. While Chris and Carl talk about their favorite movies, Meg is saddled with all the hard work. She eventually stands up for herself and as a result gets fired.
After Bonnie (Jennifer Tilly) tells Joe (Patrick Warburton) that she is tired of being married to a handicapped person, Joe decides to get a leg transplant. Excited about his new ability to walk, Joe dives head first into extreme sports and begins to hang around more active friends. Meanwhile, Peter and the guys are upset at how Joe is acting and decide to teach him a lesson. In doing so, they re cripple him and he is back to normal.
This special half-hour FAMILY GUY tribute showcases the outrageous antics of the Griffin family and celebrates the side-splitting, irreverent humor of the fan-favorite animated series. Some of the funniest moments, satirical spoofs and musical numbers of the past 100 episodes are revisited.
In the 100th episode, Lois and Peter go on a cruise, leaving Stewie and the family behind. Upset with Lois for leaving him at home, Stewie vows to carry out a diabolical plan. When Brian challenges him to actually do it, Stewie stows away on the ship, finds Lois and ...well ... the title of the episode says it all.
While all of Quahog assumes she's dead, Lois returns from the wilderness and names Stewie as her killer, but he goes on the run while Joe leads a manhunt around Quahog. Then, Stewie tries to take over the world and in the interim auditions for the AMERICAN IDOL judges Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson and Paula Abdul. Meanwhile, Lois realizes that she must stop Stewie.
Peter starts an anti-immigration group after being caught up in the pro-American sentiment at a Veterans' Day parade, but his tune quickly changes when he finds out he was born in Mexico. Unable to prove his citizenship, pass the naturalization test or convince investigators that his marriage to Lois is for real, he ends up working as a groundskeeper on his father-in-law's estate and leading the fight for immigrant rights.
When a flood hits Quahog, Meg winds up in the hospital in a coma, but she wakes up to a cute med student and they immediately hit it off. After Meg recovers, Peter is very protective of her, so he drives "McCutie" away. But when Meg reveals to the family that she is pregnant, Peter forces them to get married.
Peter decides to grow a moustache, but then he's mistaken for a fireman (because they all have moustaches), so he lends a hand when a fire breaks out at a local fast food restaurant. The owner gives him unlimited burgers as a "thank you" but he eats so many that he eventually has a stroke. When Peter recovers, he vows to expose the fast-food company and becomes friends with a genetically engineered cow (Montalban) he meets after infiltrating the McBurgertown warehouse.
James Woods returns after being locked in a crate to seek revenge against Peter. First, James steals Peter's identity and moves in as head of the Griffin household. Then, Peter goes out and ruins James career and image. Now with additional content not seen on TV!
Peter and Lois's marriage is on the rocks, but when Brian wins the New England Rising Writer's award, the three of them head to Martha's Vineyard for a relaxing vacation. As Peter's drinking spirals out of control, so does Brian's self restraint as he professes his undying love for Lois. Peter and Brian test their friendship over the woman of their dreams.
When Brian is afraid that he has lost his chance at love, he goes in search of a former flame Tracy (Harvey Fierstein) only to discover he is the father of her unruly son, Dylan. After Brian's surprise visit, Tracy drops Dylan off at the Griffin's so Brian can raise him. Subsequently, his new little angel begins terrorizing the Griffin household and Brian's self-important attitude toward parenting infuriates Peter and Lois.
Yo ho ho! It's a pirate's life for Peter when he gets a pet parrot. But after raising hell in Quahog and terrorizing the neighbors, Peter accidentally kills his beloved pet. Meanwhile, Chris goes with Brian to the vet and falls for the lovely intern Anna.
After Lois saves his beloved teddy bear, Rupert, Stewie starts to think that maybe he shouldn't kill his dear old mom and clings to her like a baby blanket. However, Stewie's change in demeanor doesn't go over well with Lois and she gets sick of all his loving attention. Meanwhile, Peter undergoes a prostate exam and thinks his doctor is molesting him.
When Peter's mother announces that she is getting a divorce, Peter feels abandoned until he finds a father figure in his mom's new boyfriend, Quahog's resident anchor man, Tom Tucker. Peter takes such an interest in Tom that he reverts to being a child again, but things aren't all fun and games for long. Meanwhile, Brian gets his own NPR-style radio show, but when Stewie hears the news, he can't help but stir things up.
After Peter buys a military tank with Meg's money, her car fund goes out the window and she's forced to get a job at the newly built Superstore in town. However, the town's economy begins to suffer when Superstore puts all the mom-and-pop shops out of business and sucks up the city's power supply. Brian and Stewie decide to take matters into their own hands in order to save the town from the corporate giant.
After Chris is approached by an Army recruiter, Brian goes to the headquarters to give him a piece of his mind, but Stewie tags along and gets them both enlisted in boot camp. The two make it through training with no help from Sergeant Angryman (Gossett) and end up in Iraq, where they try everything possible to get an honorable discharge. Meanwhile, at home base, Chris joins a Goth rock band and their hit track is "Evil, Evil Monkey".
When Peter hurts his hand and his boss Angela (guest voice Carrie Fisher) tells him he needs to pick up the pace, Lois goes to the brewery and helps him play catch-up. Meanwhile, when Stewie discovers that Brian is dating a very attractive but intellectually challenged girl named Jillian (guest voice Drew Barrymore), he tries to convince Brian to break up with her, but Brian can't close the deal because she is so hot.
When Lois discovers that Chris has some bad information about sex, she volunteers to teach a sex-ed class at the high school. After Lois upsets the other parents with her honest approach, Principal Shepherd (guest voice Gary Cole) is forced to replace her with Reverend Jerry Kirkwood (guest voice David Cross). Meanwhile, Meg and her new guy take an abstinence pledge, but still manage to find a loophole. And a terrified Stewie sets a series of traps for the Tooth Fairy, hell-bent on destroying him.
Stewie ties the knot with his old friend and fading child actress Olivia, but their relationship quickly turns into a traditional marriage filled with resentment and bickering, which comes to an ugly head when they join Brian and Jillian (Drew Barrymore) on a double date. Meanwhile, Lois introduces Peter to chick flicks, and he decides to make his own movie based on the plots of every girly movie ever made.
When Meg can't find a date to her junior prom, Brian gets suckered into going with her, even though he is dating Jillian (Drew Barrymore). When Brian arrives at the dance he gets drunk to ease his pain, but after he makes out with Meg he really hurts. The next morning Meg starts to think of Brian as her boyfriend and becomes obsessed with spending every waking moment with him. Meanwhile, Peter, Cleveland and Quagmire join the police force and have to come to Brian's aid.
When the family has a garage sale, Brian accidentally sells Stewie's beloved teddy bear Rupert. Stewie is so distraught that Brian takes him on a cross-country road trip to Aspen, CO. When they find the culprit, Stanford (Rob Lowe), Stewie challenges him to a ski-off to get Rupert back. Meanwhile, Peter loses his license, so Meg has to drive him around.
After Peter's dad, Francis, dies, he finds out from Thelma that his real father lives in Ireland. So Peter and Brian head there in search of his father, who ends up being the town drunk, which is a great honor, and he challenges him to a drinking game to prove his paternity. Meanwhile, Stewie acts out and Lois spanks him, but he quickly realizes that he likes it and does whatever he can to get into trouble.
When a bully begins to harass Chris, Peter goes to his defense, but the kid is so annoying that Peter beats him up. This is so satisfying that Peter realizes bullying is fun and begins to bully everyone in the house. Finally, Chris stands up to Peter and beats him senseless. Meanwhile, Stewie goes out without sunscreen and becomes obsessed with getting a tan. After Brian accidentally leaves him in the tanning booth for six hours, Stewie gets sunburned and fears he has cancer. While waiting for the results of his cancer screening, Stewie begins to live his life as if he had only days to live and drives Brian crazy with his demands.
Peter takes Quagmire to the airport for work and messes things up, causing Quagmire to lose his job as a pilot. Quagmire can't find another gig, so Peter and Cleveland devise a plan to help him get his old job back. When the plan flops, Quagmire receives advice from his idol, Hugh Hefner, which leads him to save the day.
After Peter helps Bill Clinton out with a flat tire, they become fast friends. They begin spending a lot of time together and Lois starts to think Bill is a bad influence. But when she confronts Bill, they end up having sex. Peter is devastated and tries to get back at Lois but finds he loves her too much to go through with having an affair. Meanwhile, Lois and Stewie try to potty-train Brian.
When the Griffin family decides to start a restaurant, they have a hard time attracting customers. But after Joe promises to help, Peter is excited that it might become a cop hangout. However, things don't really turn out as Peter had hoped and it begins to be popular with handicapped patrons. Although Peter attempts to change the atmosphere of his new place, a sudden twist of irony quickly changes his mind.
The family heads to church when Lois gets a gig as the organist, but after Stewie gets sick the congregation is convinced he's possessed by the devil. So, the family goes on the run and ends up in Texas. Peter fits right in with the cowboys, Stewie enters the "Little Miss Texas" pageant and Chris and Meg sneak into George W. Bush's house.
When Chris gets expelled from school, the family enrolls him in a snooty boarding school Mr. Pewterschmidt attended, but Chris doesn't exactly fit in. Meanwhile, the chicken returns to pick a fight with Peter, but you'll never guess how it all ends.
When Lois runs for mayor of Quahog, she isn't the front-runner until she "dumbs down" her political views. Once in office, she's corrupted by the power and starts accepting bribes so that she can buy herself expensive trinkets. Meanwhile, Peter's (Seth MacFarlane) enjoying being the "first lady" and all of the perks that go along with it.
Death grants Peter's wish of going back in time to be 18 again just for one night so that he can sow his wild oats. In 1984, he bails on a date with Lois to go to a bar and make out with a movie actress, but when he returns to the present, he discovers that he is now married to the former starlet and Lois is with Quagmire. Meanwhile, Stewie, Chris and Meg have all inherited Quagmire's charming characteristics.
Peter decides to take Lois on a second honeymoon. But when things go awry, they end up posing as a famous actor/director to stay in his fancy hotel suite, where they inadvertently discover a copy of "The Passion of the Christ 2: Crucify This." Peter and Lois attempt to destroy the film and end up in a high-speed chase with two Catholic priests hell-bent on saving the movie.
When Chris' teacher wins the lotto and quits, Brian fills in as the substitute. All's well until Brian is moved to another class where he must teach troubled kids to aim low. Meanwhile, Chris is instantly smitten with his new teacher, Mrs. Lockhart, who promises to be with him if he kills her husband. But when Lois finds the teacher's written instructions in Chris' laundry, she and Stewie conspire together to find answers and teach Chris a lesson.
Peter becomes jealous of his friends' achievements -- Mort bowls a perfect game, Joe gets a guilty Quagmire off on unsavory charges and Quagmire accidentally saves a woman's life -- so he decides to break a Guinness record to achieve something that he will be remembered for after he dies. After accidentally blinding himself, Peter wanders into the Drunken Clam while it's on fire and unknowingly saves Horace from the flames, becoming a local hero.
When Meg asks a cute boy at school on a date and he turns her down, she looks to her family for support. In an effort to cheer her up, Lois takes Meg to the mall, where she gets the ultimate makeover. Meanwhile, Peter tries to start a band with the guys, but it's Meg's new look that has the record producers singing their praises. So the Griffins form a traveling family band that takes them all the way to New York to perform on "Saturday Night Live".
When Peter hears screams coming from Cleveland and Loretta's house, he tries to help but discovers Loretta in a compromising position. Peter identifies the other man as Quagmire and decides to tell Cleveland of his wife's extracurricular activities. But when Loretta walks out on Cleveland he doesn't take it lying down.
At a game night among friends, Lois lets Peter win at Trivial Pursuit, which leads Peter to gloat and think he's a genius. Brian knows the truth and challenges Peter to prove his intelligence by getting an IQ test. But when the test results determine Peter is legally mentally challenged, everyone ends up looking stupid.
When "The Bachelorette" comes to Quahog, they recruit Brian to be a contestant. He signs up for the free martinis and food, but ends up falling in love with the reality starlet, Brooke. Brian wins her heart -- and the final rose -- but when the cameras are turned off, this romance made in TV heaven takes a turn for the worse. Meanwhile, Chris gets a horrible case of acne.
When Peter runs up a tab at the local pharmacy, the only way out of paying the bill is to sell Meg to the owner's son, Neil, who has been stalking her for months. But when Neil starts dating another girl, Meg becomes jealous and goes on the hunt to find a boyfriend of her own. Meanwhile, Stewie goes gaga over his hot new babysitter, Liddane.
When Lois is short on cash and can't pay her grocery store bill, she resorts to stealing. The adrenaline rush from shoplifting sends her on a stealing spree that spirals out of control and leaves her behind bars. Back at home, the family is a mess without Lois, so Peter and the kids decide to break her out of the clinker to get things back to normal.
When the Griffins visit Lois' parents, Lois realizes that her father prevented her from fulfilling her lifelong dream of becoming a model, so she returns to Quahog and hits the catwalk. Lois is an instant hit, but the glamorous world goes to her head and Peter has to step in to get her back on track. Meanwhile, Stewie starts a pyramid scheme business and hires Brian as his assistant.
When Brian attends a PTA meeting, he meets Meg's high school teacher and starts to date her. This new relationship puts a strain on Peter and Brian's friendship, so Peter finds solace in new best friend, James Woods. Meanwhile, "The Da Vinci Code" leaves Stewie unable to sleep.
When Peter and the guys go on a fishing trip, they end up in choppy waters that leave them stranded on a desert island. Months later, the guys are rescued from the island and Peter returns home to discover the new man of the house has a bark that's worse than his bite.
When Chris discovers he'll be hazed as part of a high school ritual, he runs away to South America, where he assimilates to the uncivilized, tribal culture. Meanwhile, Peter is forced to look for a job, but after several failed attempts he decides he's tired of starting at the bottom of the ladder. While Peter visits Chris in the South American jungle, tribal members treat him like a god, but both Peter and Chris learn that they can't run away from their problems forever.
After a controversial mishap occurs during a live broadcast, the FCC begins to censor all of Peter's favorite television shows. Peter retaliates by creating his own TV station -- "PTV" -- which he operates out of the Griffin home. Peter and Brian create some edgy hits for the station, until the FCC shows up and starts to regulate their everyday life.
After writing a story for a local magazine, Brian lands a job with the prestigious New Yorker. However, his college dropout status haunts him so he decides to go back to Brown University to get his degree. As Brian struggles to pass his class, Stewie enjoys the college lifestyle. Meanwhile, Peter and his friends combine forces to help the city (or so they think).
When Stewie intensifies his efforts to kill Lois, she thinks he is acting out and orders Peter to spend more time with him. They begin to do some bonding until a theme park outing ends disastrously. Meanwhile, Chris does some bonding of his own when he develops a friendship with Herbert after breaking his window.
When Lois drags Peter to the doctor for a physical, his diagnosis is clear: he's too fat. This news drives Peter to form the NAAFP, an advocacy group for the advancement of fat people. Meanwhile, Lois discovers her long-lost brother, Patrick, and fights to get him released from an insane asylum. But a string of fat guys go missing soon after, and Peter and the NAAFP ban together to get to the bottom of it.
When Peter's dad visits the Griffins, he tries to impose his religious beliefs on the family. But after a mishap leaves Stewie stuck living in a bubble, Peter searches for a new religion finding faith in his television hero the Fonz. But "Happy Days" are not quite here as the newly established Church of the Fonz struggles to retain its members.
After an accident lands Brian in the hospital, he has a near-death experience that leads him to take a new lease on life. He finds a passion for singing and develops a new nightly gig with Frank Sinatra Jr., but his "live in the moment" lifestyle only goes so far. Meanwhile, Meg's sexuality swings the other way.
At his high school reunion, Peter pretends to be a big-shot millionaire to impress his classmates, but the truth comes out when he meets Tom Brady and loses all self-control. Peter makes a drunken run for the bathroom that impresses Brady and lands Peter a spot on the New England Patriots football team. Life is great for the Griffins until Peter's new high profile goes to his head. Meanwhile, Stewie becomes a sports bookie.
When Peter goes on a television game show and wins a maid for a week, Quagmire becomes smitten with her and ends up popping the question. But when Quagmire's bachelor tendencies resurface, he takes some serious steps to get out of the marriage. Meanwhile, Stewie fights against breast-feeding withdrawals when Lois tries to wean him.
After a pregnancy scare, Peter reluctantly agrees to get a vasectomy. But after the operation, Peter's sex drive becomes nonexistent. When Lois packs on some extra pounds, Peter's interest is renewed and things heat back up in the bedroom until her unhealthy eating habits get the best of her. Meanwhile, Stewie's half-brother and archrival Beltram confronts him and they declare an all-out war for control over the playground.
When Meg lands an internship with Mayor West, Brian argues that he's corrupt. Determined to expose his shady ways, Brian and Stewie go undercover and discover that Meg is in deeper than they thought. Meanwhile, a local talent show brings Peter and Lois back to their folk singing days. Unfortunately, they also revert back to their hippie ways and Chris must stage an intervention.
After reading an erotic novel, Peter decides to write one of his own and gets Carter to publish it. But when Carter gets sued for Peter's book on tape, he loses all his money and is forced to become a middle-class citizen, much to his chagrin. Meanwhile, with the flick of a switch, Chris becomes a genius and competes with Stewie to take over the world.
While visiting the Griffins, Brian's gay cousin Jasper announces he's engaged to his partner and wants to be married in their home. But when Mayor West bans gay marriage in Quahog to cover up an unrelated scandal, Brian becomes a crazed activist and resorts to hostile ways to change the mayor's decision. Meanwhile, Lois questions her view toward gay marriage and Chris joins the extremist "Young Republicans" group to win a girl's heart.
After Joe builds a new home theater system, Peter tries to top it by building a multiplex in his backyard and discovers an Indian burial ground. But when he takes an Indian chief's skull, the house becomes haunted and Stewie pulls a "Carol Anne" and gets sucked into the television. Unfortunately for the Griffins, getting Stewie back from the poltergeist is just the beginning.
When the Griffins get robbed, the family runs into Peter's panic room to escape the trespassers. Now isolated and trapped, Peter insists the family know about their ancestry and narrates a chain of events in world history that explain the Griffin name. Meanwhile, after Meg is chosen to go back into the house, she scares off the robbers in an unexpected way.
Searching for meaning in life, Brian decides to devote his time to helping others. Using his keen sense of smell, he gets a job with the local police department and becomes the top-dog -- until his nose gets him into trouble.
In the conclusion of a two-part story line, Brian leaves Quahog for Hollywood in order to write films. When the Griffins visit him in Los Angeles, he desperately takes the first job offered to him in order to impress them -- and finds himself directing a porno. Faced with fame and loneliness in his new field, Brian realizes that every dog needs a home.
Happy-Go-Lucky Toys is purchased by a conglomerate that also owns a major tobacco company. When new management fires his boss, Peter is made President of the company and does such a convincing job of supporting the tobacco industry that the board sends him to Washington DC to give a speech on the benefits of smoking - until everything backfires.
When Quahog is hit by a devastating hurricane, Peter's favorite bar "The Drunken Clam" is destroyed. The owner cannot rebuild the bar so a British man purchases the bar and turns it into a pub where British families start congregating at the pub thereby ruining Peter's old haunt.
When Peter becomes jealous of the Chris' physical assets, he joins a gun club to overcompensate for his small size. But when they go on a hunting trip, it takes brains, not brawn, to save them. Meanwhile, Meg finds herself the target of the "cool" kids' wrath at school.
When Peter skips out on his anniversary date with Lois in order to play golf with his buddies, he is inexplicably struck by lightning and visited by Death. Instead of escorting Peter to the after-life, Death tells Peter that Lois will leave him in the future unless Peter uses his near-death experience to come to a life-changing revelation. In order to help him, Death takes Peter back to the moment that Peter and Lois met and fell in love.
When Fall hits Quahog, the town becomes infested with New Yorkers who come to watch the leaves change colors. As the tension rises, Lois takes her aggression out by practicing Tae-Jitsu, becoming a black-belt and whipping the family into shape.
When Meg applies for an internship at the local television station and gets the job, she is disappointed to find that her news partner is the most reviled nerd in school, Neil. Caught in a life-threatening news situation, Meg laments that she never had a first kiss and agrees to kiss Neil only to find that he taped the whole thing in order to broadcast it across the world. Meanwhile, Stewie learns what a neighborhood bully is and the bully learns not to mess with Stewie.
When Peter's boss dies, the Happy-Go-Lucky Toy Factory is destroyed in order to make way for the Happy-Go-Lucky Terminal Disease Institute. Out of a job, Peter decides to follow his life-long dream of becoming a knight with the traveling Renaissance Fair, but when he is caught in a compromising position with the infamous Black Knight's wench, Maid Madeline, he must defend his family's reputation in an old-fashioned duel.
When Peter decides to become a fisherman, he takes out a large loan to buy a fishing boat and unwittingly gives up everything he owns as collateral. Faced with losing the family home, Peter resorts to desperate measures to get the money and hunts down a famous man-eating fish for the reward money. Meanwhile, Lois and Meg hit the beach for Spring Break.
Peter and Lois are inspired by her pregnant sister Carol to have another baby. Stewie is appalled at the prospect of another sibling and vows to keep Lois and Peter from sleeping together. After various attempts to stop them, Stewie shrinks himself down to a microscopic size and enters Peter's body in hopes of destroying all of his sperm.
When Chris sees a convenience store hold up and identifies the thief in a police line-up, the Griffins are put into the witness protection program and must relocate to a small town in the deep south. While they are there, the townspeople put on a Civil War re-enactment and re-invent history by having the South win -- with laser swords. But when Peter questions the historical truthfulness, the town turns on him and he must fight his own battle.
When Brian joins Lois and Peter on their visit to the Pewterschmidits, his pent-up sexual energy is unleashed on the Pewterschmidit's dog Sea Breeze. After the vet informs them that Sea Breeze is pregnant, Mr. Pewterschmidt refuses to let Brian near her. Brian decides to sue him for custody of the puppies.
When Chris begins to embrace African-American culture, Cleveland takes him to an Irish heritage museum to teach him about his own culture. In a genealogy book, Chris discovers that he has an African-American ancestor. Meanwhile, when the Peterschmidts come to visit, they reveal a secret and bribe Peter to keep it quiet. But after Peter accepts the bribe, he makes a harsh realization.
When Joe loses a thief in a chase, he also loses his self-confidence and pride as a police officer. Peter becomes determined to help Joe and offers to train him for the decathlon at the Olympics for handicapped athletes. Peter spikes Joe's drink with steroids and he goes on to win the gold medal and fame. Meanwhile, Stewie, Meg and Brian fight over a money clip and $26.
The Christmas season gets off to a rocky start for Peter who cannot seem to find the time to rest and watch the Christmas Specials, like the classic "KISS Saves Santa" in which they play themselves defeating Christmas bandits with the screech of the electric guitar. When Peter accidentally gives all of the family presents away, the family has to go the mall for last minute gifts on Christmas Eve, while Brian, who stays home, gets caught in a sticky mess with the Christmas tree and burns Lois' dinner. When the Griffins come home to the mess, nobody is prepared when Lois goes crazy snd loses her Christmas cheer.
When Brian finds the dating scene unbearable, he drowns his loneliness in alcohol and gets arrested for drunk driving. A court judge sentences him to care for a cranky elderly woman who winds up being the love of Brian's life. Meanwhile, Peter grows a beard which becomes a nest for endangered birds.
When Brian auditions for a role at the local theater, Stewie is discovered and enters the Quahog School of Performing Arts. Meanwhile, Peter rescues a man from the ocean only to discover that the man is a nudist.
When Stewie and Brian stow away on a flight to Europe, they end up stranded in Saudi Arabia and take up residence at a Comfort Inn. In an attempt to get home, they steal a hot air balloon and pay a visit to Italy and England. Meanwhile, Lois and Peter go to KISS Stock and Peter is mortified when Lois doesn't know any KISS lyrics.
In a special three-story episode, Brian reads viewer mail and tries to answer the questions: What if the Griffins were little?, What if Peter found a Genie lamp? and What if the Griffins had super powers?
The day that Peter buys volcano insurance is the day that Lois becomes fed up with their constant money problems. When Peter wishes for a Jewish "money guy" to help them, Max Weinstein comes to the rescue. After meeting Max, Peter decides Chris could be successful if he converted to Judaism as soon as possible, but the plans for a "quickie" bar mitzvah in Las Vegas are quickly foiled by Lois.
When Lois' aunt dies and leaves her mansion to the Griffins, Peter is eager to move in and start living large. But when he gets carried away at an auction and bids ten million dollars on a piece of art, he's forced to trade in his new home. When Peter discovers the mansion was a whorehouse and isn't worth a dime, he must pull a fast one to save the day.
When Peter's religious father retires, Peter invites him to live with his family. In an attempt to bond with his dad, Peter gets him a job as a foreman at the toy factory. But when his dad begins to drive everyone crazy with his religious homilies, Peter must make a divine intervention to keep his sanity.
Peter's makes the family cancel their New Year's Eve plans because he's paranoid about the millennium. But when Y2K hits and the world is destroyed, all that remains standing is a Twinkie factory. When the Griffins set out to find the factory, they realize it's the end of the world as they know it.
When mysterious stains appear on the Griffins' carpet, they assume it's Stewie. But when Brian finally confesses that he made the mess, Lois encourages him to seek therapy. In an attempt to end his uncontrollable problem, Brian tours the world in search of himself. But nothing prepares him for what he discovers: he's in love with his best friend's wife.
When Peter and his neighbors win a trophy for building the best float at a local parade, they fight over who gets to keep it. As a compromise, they decide to display the trophy in a place they all can enjoy it. But when it's stolen, everyone becomes a suspect. Meanwhile, in order to afford an expensive purse, Meg gets a job as a waitress and pretends Stewie is her son for sympathy tips.
When Peter winds up in the hospital, he runs up a huge bill. In an effort to get out of paying it, he claims "deceased" on his insurance forms and prompts Death to pay him a visit. But when Death sprains his ankle chasing Peter, he must recover at the Griffin's house. Everyone thinks they're invincible until Death asks Peter to fill in for him until he's back on his feet.
When Lois is appointed artistic director of the Quahog Players, she decides to make her first production "The King And I." This makes Peter feel depressed and uncreative, so Lois asks him to be the producer. But when Peter takes control and goes over Lois' head, the musical takes a turn for the worst.
When Peter gets reprimanded for telling politically incorrect jokes at work, he is forced to attend a woman's retreat for sensitivity training. But when he comes home embracing his newfound feminine side, he drives everyone crazy.
When Peter's favorite show is canceled, he makes Chris pretend he is dying in order to ask the Make-A-Dream-Come-True Foundation to save the show. When the foundation agrees, Peter pretends to miraculously save Chris inadvertently becoming "the miracle curer of Quahog".
When Lois decides to run for the school board, Peter decides to run against her in an effort to gain her respect. But when Peter stops at nothing to win the race, the campaign takes a turn for the worst. After Peter gets elected, his rise to power falls flat and he's forced to resign and, even worse, face his wife.
When Peter runs into an old classmate who owns his an amusement park, he longs for the same fame and fortune. Meanwhile, a high-end gallery owner sees potential in Chris' painting and invites the Griffins to New York.
When Meg decides her family has embarrassed her one too many times, she turns the tables by exposing them on a talk show. The Griffins create such a sensation on the show, the network executives decide to turn their outrageous life into a reality series.
When Stewie misbehaves while visiting his grandparents in Palm Springs, Brian offers to go get him and bring him home. But when Stewie loses their return plane tickets, the two embark on a memorable road trip across country.
When a toad-licking epidemic sweeps Quahog High School, Peter goes undercover as a narc at Meg's school. When Peter becomes the coolest kid in class, Meg sees her chance to have the most popular date at the big dance. But when Peter decides to go with Meg's rival, Connie, she's devastated. When Meg arrives alone at the dance, Peter realizes that being popular isn't all it's cracked up to be.
When Lois enrolls Stewie at a day care center to help him sharpen his social skills, he ends up developing his first crush on a little girl. Meanwhile, Lois begins feeling bored at home so she gets a job as a flight attendant. Peter hates the idea until he discovers there are free plane tickets involved.
When Peter buys a car, it turns out to be a lemon. While drowning his sorrows at a local bar, Peter meets a mobster who helps him out with the car situation. In return, Peter fulfills a favor and takes the mobster's nephew, Paulie, to the movies. When the two hit it off, Lois becomes concerned with their ties to the mob.
When Chris skips gym class because he feels fat and embarrassed, he ends up in detention. Peter tries to convince Chris to get liposuction, but likes the idea so much, he gets it himself. After surgery, Peter looks thinner and everyone treats him better. This sends him back for more plastic surgery until he realizes looks can be deceiving.
When Peter hires a new accountant, he gets such a large tax refund that he decides to build a swimming pool. Disappointed when he learns that city codes forbid pools, Peter decides to fight City Hall. When he discovers that there is no record of his property in the city records, he declares his land a country and makes himself the president.
In order to improve her chances of getting into an Ivy League school, Meg decides to write for the school paper. She submits her first article on the Mayor of Quahog, but Peter secretly replaces her piece with a more exciting article of his own. When his plan backfires, Meg's chances of getting into Brown University are threatened.
In an attempt to win a contest held by a local brewery, Peter and his friends go on a drinking binge to find the winning ticket hidden in a beer bottle. Meanwhile, Lois dreams of having Ling, her piano student, win an upcoming recital. But when Lois works Ling too hard, she drops out of the competition and leaves Lois high and dry.
When Peter and the guys take their sons camping, Peter is disappointed in Chris' bumbling around the campsite and decides to teach him to be a man. Futilely trying to impress Peter, Chris gets a job picking up golf balls but Peter ignores him in favor of Cleveland, Jr., who shows a natural talent for golf.
Against strict orders from Lois, Peter drinks profusely at his buddy's bachelor party. After showing up at work hung over, Peter gets fired. When he applies for welfare, they accidentally send him a check for $150,000, which leads to a spending binge. When Lois discovers the truth, Peter attempts to return the money to the taxpayers by dumping it from a blimp at the Super Bowl. But when he is arrested, his family must come to the rescue.
While teaching Meg to drive, Peter crashes into a satellite dish and knocks out the city's cable. He goes crazy without television, until Lois suggests he spend more time with his family. This plan backfires when Peter drives the family nuts. Meanwhile, after Lois forces Stewie to eat his broccoli, he attempts to destroy all vegetables by building a weather control device.
Lois is furious with Peter when he allows Meg to attend a party the same day as Stewie's first birthday. Unbeknownst to Meg, she's actually attending a cult meeting and when Peter brings her back home, the cult leader follows. Stewie recognizes the leader as the man who wants to return him to the "ovarian bastille".
When Peter goes to Chris' soccer game, he inadvertently punches a pregnant woman he thought was a man. Restless under house arrest, Peter turns the basement into a bar and Lois ends up stealing the show. Meanwhile, Stewie attempts to create a time machine to avoid teething pain.
When a bubbly new family moves next door, Peter gets annoyed. Lois becomes fast friends with Debbie, Meg tries to pick up on son Kyle and Peter is forced to invite Joe to play on his company baseball team. But when Joe shows up to the game in a wheelchair and wins the crowd's hearts with his slick maneuvers and winning plays, Peter decides he wants to be a hero too.
Chris is booted from the Youth Scouts, so Peter takes the family to the Big Apple to get him reinstated. But when Peter takes a wrong turn, they end up at a Native American Casino where Lois hits the slot machine once too often. Peter must embark on a vision quest to prove he has Native American blood to save the day. Stand-up comedian Bobby Slayton makes a guest voice appearance as Lenny, the pit boss.