Roseanne

In the series pilot, Roseanne is summoned to a parent/teacher conference after Darlene has been barking in class.

When Dan receives a $500 advance on a drywall job, everyone hopes there will be money left over for something extra for themselves. When it turns out that, after the bills are paid, there will barely be enough left to buy one thing, Dan and Roseanne each buy themselves a luxury item on the sly. Darlene is scolded for lying, but they each ask her to hide the truth about something.

Roseanne and Dan plan a romantic dinner date out, and run into an old friend that they were unaware had been divorced. When they learn that her divorce was because her husband refused to allow her to follow a dream, that Roseanne inspired, Dan wonders if Roseanne will grow to feel the same way. When Jackie is late for baby-sitting, Becky is allowed to cover, much to the delight of the kids.

While making his famous chili, Dan awaits a phone call about a badly-needed construction job, and has to run Jackie off the phone. Dan expresses his annoyance with Jackie always being over at their house to Roseanne, but while Dan and Roseanne are taking a relationship test in the back of a teen magazine for fun, his annoyances about Jackie come to the surface in front of her. When she comments that he wouldn't even notice so much if he had a job, Dan is pushed too far. Darlene is making a castle for extra credit because she is flunking History, but D.J. accidentally destroys it, causing a fight between the two.

Roseanne wants Dan to enter a country music song-writing contest sponsored by the local radio station. Dan is reluctant to do so until he finds out that the grand prize is a hundred dollars. Unable to come up with a new idea, and not pleased with anything he wrote in the past, Dan chooses one of Roseanne's old poems to put to music. Sexual tension between Jackie and Booker heat up in the workplace. Becky and Darlene are at each other's throats.

Roseanne talks Booker and the women from work into going bowling. Becky gets dolled up for the night out, because she has a first crush on a boy from her school that works at the bowling alley, but is mortified at the thought of being embarrassed by her parents. Jackie and Booker make a "friendly" wager involving a sleepover vs. toilet bowl scrubbing.

Dan hires a photographer to take a family portrait at the house for an upcoming high school reunion. Everyone is dressed up and posed when Jackie lets the cat out of the bag about a fling Dan had back in high school with Roseanne's nemesis.

Upset because she got dumped again, and certain she will never find a good man, Crystal turns to Roseanne and Jackie for support and advice. Booker turns down a date with Jackie because his "Mother" is in town, and turns up at the Lobo Lounge with another woman. Jackie decides not to turn the other cheek. Praying for a snow day, Darlene procrastinates doing a book report she has to turn in the next day.

The kids plan a birthday breakfast for their Dad. Roseanne plans a birthday bash for Dan at the Lobo Lounge. What starts out as a great party, soon turn sour, when a drunken bar patron picks a fight with Dan over use of the pool table. A furious Roseanne prevents Dan from brawling with the bruiser, leaving Dan humiliated and angry. Becky is nervous about meeting and having diner with her boyfriend's parents.

Dan plans to spend another Saturday working on his truck in which more drinking with friends gets done than any actual work. Roseanne is fed up and bets Dan he can't get the truck fixed by the end of the afternoon. If she's right, he has to take over all oven-cleaning duties; if Roseanne's wrong, she has to take over all snow-shoveling duties. Meanwhile, Dan's drinking buddy Dwight tries his hardest to impress a disinterested Jackie.

Roseanne and Dan clash over what will be donated to a charity drive. Dan has trouble letting go of his stuff, so he plots ways to keep it. Darlene is worried about a bad grade on her report card getting her into trouble, so she plots to conceal the truth from her parents. Jackie is upset with Booker for nearly standing her up... again.

Darlene is discovering that her job delivering newspapers is not the easy way to make money she thought it would be. Roseanne and Dan each try to plan a second honeymoon, and disagree on which one they should take, leaving Jackie to step in and save the day. Becky is stuck with a moral dilemma at school.

Dan and Roseanne contend with a miserable Crystal who can't get over her husband's death years earlier.

Dan's father arrives for a visit, and old resentments and hostility are brought into the light. The first of Ned Beatty's appearances as Ed Conner.

After Dan and the kids stay up late watching a horror movie, Roseanne must contend with a terrified Darlene keeping her up all night but soon learns there's more going on with her growing daughter than simple night terrors.

A day at the mall finds Becky giving Roseanne the silent treatment, Jackie lamenting about her life's lack of direction and Dan waiting in vain to buy a new pair of shoes.

Dan and Roseanne discover a difficult new side to Becky when they invite Chip and his parents over for a dinner party.

Roseanne takes a guilt trip when Darlene faces a sudden, emergency appendectomy and the two have been at each other's throats for weeks.

While Roseanne has to work overtime at the factory, Dan struggles to keep the house and family running with mixed results.

As a tornado blows through Lanford, Roseanne & co. work to keep their cool amidst potential disaster.

Roseanne's hospitality bites her in the behind when a door-to-door salesman she lets in the house dies in their kitchen and the family must contend with the corpse all day until the coroner can arrive.

The Conner household is thrown into chaos with the arrival of Roseanne's parents who do nothing but criticize their daughters behind their backs.

A firm, no-nonsense supervisor takes charge at Wellman's, demanding a quota of 8,000 units. Roseanne, Jackie and all the women feel it's a tough load to handle. However, the boss will come down on his demands if Roseanne can swallow her pride and be humane.

An embarrassing episode for Becky during a student council meeting sees Roseanne sharing her most embarrassing moments from her own life with her daughter.

Roseanne and Jackie are at odds when Jackie announces she's going to the Police Academy.

Tired and frustrated of her job selling magazines over the phone, Roseanne is ecstatic when she gets an interview at a meat packing plant that seems like a sure thing.

An emotionally-needy architect at Dan's new job site adopts the Conners as a surrogate family much to their terror.

Roseanne feels the empty nest syndrome when Jackie leaves for police training and Darlene goes to her first party.

Roseanne is perturbed when a friend of Dan's plants a passionate kiss on her during Dan's weekly poker night with his buddies. The first appearance of Tom Arnold as Arnie.

The first of the annual Halloween episodes finds Roseanne doing her best to scare Dan who is waiting to hear about an important business deal going through.

Ten minutes alone in the bathtub is all Roseanne wants, and when she doesn't get it, her fantasies take hold for thirty wild and musical minutes.

Thanksgiving at the Conners brings the usual family strife and hilarity as Roseanne is determined to make her parents stay at a motel and Jackie continues to hide the fact she joined the police.

Roseanne is ecstatic when Darlene is asked to read her poem for her school's recital, but Darlene refuses to do it.

Working two jobs, Roseanne finds she and Dan are drifting apart and turns to Jackie for support.

Roseanne gets the silent treatment after clashing with Becky when she becomes the teenage daughter from hell.

Roseanne lands a job at a chicken restaurant, with a total dweeb for a supervisor. He wants her to work weekends, which she is unable to do, so she invites the boy to dinner and gets Dan to help him assemble his carburetor for school. But will the kindness pay off in the end?

Becky and her friend make "tornadoes": a combination of several liquors they find in the liquor cabinet, topped off with a splash of root beer.

Jackie plays happy homemaker with Dan and the kids when Roseanne is called away for three days for a family emergency.

In his first appearance, Dan and Roseanne's old friend Ziggy returns for a visit, prompting the Conners to wonder what happened to themselves and when they became "old".

Roseanne feels she's sunk to an all-time low when she gets a job sweeping up hair at a hair salon.

Determined to squeeze back into an old pair of jeans, Roseanne commits herself (and Dan, much to his horror) to yet another dieting spree.

Roseanne's meddling in Jackie's life explodes in her face.

Jackie gives Roseanne the silent treatment after she's had enough of her interfering in her love life.

Roseanne and Dan contemplate a lawsuit after Mrs. Wellman rear-ends Roseanne in her car.

The countdown to the deadline for filing their tax returns finds Dan and Roseanne running around in circles trying to get it done in time.

Convinced that Dan and Becky's relationship needs some maintenance, Roseanne forces him to accompany Becky to the mall as she tries to bond with Darlene.

For Roseanne's birthday, Dan fixes up the basement as a space for her to write and takes the kids away for the day. Roseanne is ecstatic...and then stricken with writer's block.

The entire family clusters around Roseanne for the longest ten minutes of their lives as they await the results of a pregnancy test.

Roseanne and Dan clash after Dan loans some money to Arnie. When he comes up short when it's time to pay some bills, he refuses to borrow the money from Jackie.

Roseanne and Dan ponder whether it's time to give Becky "the talk", but Darlene surprises them all when she's discovered making out with her friend.

Leaving behind her days at the hair salon, Roseanne starts her new job as a waitress at Rodbell's, much to Becky and Darlene's horror.

Jackie is injured in the line of duty, prompting an ugly ultimatum from her boyfriend Gary.

Roseanne and Dan contend with a newly rebellious Becky when they forbid her to see her new boyfriend. First appearance of Glenn Quinn as Mark.

Gender bending abounds with the annual Conner fright-fest that finds Roseanne in drag and Dan worrying about DJ dressing up as a witch.

The family is run ragged catering to Roseanne's changing moods during her time of the month.

Becky is suspended from school after giving the finger in a class photo.

Roseanne feels threatened when Dan is having recurring dreams about another woman.

Dan and Roseanne stay out late reliving their dating days while simultaneously trying to scare Becky and Darlene into respecting their curfews.

Roseanne's mother, Beverly, visits for the weekend, much to the dismay of the family. Roseanne tricks Jackie into coming over to help keep her from being alone with her mother. While confessing youthful transgressions to their Mom for fun, Jackie discovers that her parents always thought she had potential to make something out of herself; while Roseanne discovers that they always knew that she would "just" be an ordinary housewife and mother. Roseanne finds this revelation hurtful, and wonders if she treats her own daughters that differently.

Roseanne plans an impromptu Christmas dinner party in January for Dan's father Ed, who couldn't be there for Christmas. She decides to invite Donald, a customer she knows at Rodbell's Coffee Shop, and Crystal, with a ruse, as a surprise fix-up for the two. Just before dinner is served, however, Roseanne is served a huge surprise of her own, forcing her to rethink her plans. When Dan is let in on the secret, he becomes irate, and stubbornly refuses to accept reality.

Roseanne throws Crystal a bridal shower and discovers yet another secret. Ed desperately tried to bond with Crystal's son Lonnie. Dan vehemently opposes this wedding, and is furious with Roseanne for participating in it against his wishes. Convinced that his father will ruin Crystal's life, Dan confronts the man in hopes of getting him to call the wedding off.

Becky's lying about seeing Mark leads to her leaving home to stay with Jackie.

Roseanne discovers her inner feminist when an invitation from Darlene's school to Dan for career day inspires her to speak to Darlene's class about being a homemaker.

Darlene and Becky clash when the boy Darlene likes asks out Becky; Roseanne awaits a special Valentine's gift from Dan. First appearance of Martin Mull as Leon and Bonnie Sheridan as Bonnie.

Jackie's in trouble when she has to perform the lead role in a community production of "Cyrano de Bergerac" and doesn't know her lines.

Roseanne and Dan are off to Vegas for the weekend, leaving the kids home alone, but Roseanne's new boss and a snowstorm may have other ideas.

Becky's boyfriend Mark is certainly not popular around the Conner house when Dan learns he and Becky tampered with his vintage motorcycle, Dan hits the roof, blaming Becky, while Roseanne heads to Mark's house to try and make him break up with her daughter.

Roseanne clashes with her uptight new neighbor, Kathy Bowman.

A close shave with a wrecking ball lead Roseanne and Dan to wonder who should get custody of the kids if they ever both die.

Darlene resents Roseanne's sudden interest in her life when a boy asks her to her first school dance.

The family barbecue sees Nana Mary's first appearance on the show. Family and friends (except Dan's father and Roseanne's mother) gather at the Conner household for food, drink and singing, and Roseanne's fellow waitress Bonnie, gets a chance to show what a great singer she really is. Beverley still manages to upset Roseanne and Jackie from the other end of the phone, but Nana Mary turns the tables on her.

Roseanne is wary when Ziggy breezes back into Lanford, romancing Jackie and filling Dan's head with notions of opening a bike shop.

Roseanne has a hard time dealing with Becky's announcement that she wants to go on the pill.

The family is falling apart when Roseanne is working 15 hour days both at the diner and the bike shop helping Dan.

A one night stand prompts Jackie to improve her life by becoming a trucker.

Roseanne and Dan are troubled by Darlene's recent withdrawn behavior and try to get through to her with little success.

Roseanne clashes with her next door neighbor after their house is robbed while they are away for the weekend.

The annual Halloween Lanford event finds Roseanne following her neighbor Kathy Bowman, convinced she's planning a prank, and Jackie flirting with an unknown man in a moose costume.

Dan and Roseanne can't seem to get along lately, even in Vegas when Nancy and Arnie pay for their trip to celebrate their engagement. First appearance of Sandra Bernhard as Nancy.

Not even a surprise appearance by Wayne Newton is able to bring everyone together as the Vegas adventure continues for Dan and Roseanne.

Stressed at work and at home, Roseanne does her best to hide the fact she's been smoking.

Thanksgiving weekend sees another visit by friends and family including Nana Mary and a husband-less Bev.

Roseanne accompanies Jackie on a trucking run to Kansas City so they can meet their father's mistress, meanwhile Becky's boss gives her a hard time at the supermarket.

The Christmas season finds Roseanne volunteering to be Santa at the mall where she makes a surprising discovery about Darlene's new friend Karen.

Becky and Darlene babysit Little Ed, while Roseanne accompanies Jackie and Crystal to bingo. After a few rounds, Rosie becomes a bona fide bingoholic!

Roseanne is annoyed by Jackie's new friendship with Nancy, meanwhile Dan and his team try to get out of last place in their bowling league.

D.J.'s 10th birthday finds Roseanne with her back out and Bev visiting and constantly usurping Dan.

After throwing her back out again, Roseanne opts for a breast reduction.

Dan and Roseanne are ecstatic when Mark and Becky break up.

Roseanne comes down hard on Darlene for running off to Chicago with David, but a trip to the house she grew up in with Jackie gives her a new perspective on her troubled daughter.

The Conner family tries to get in on a Rodbell's commercial being filmed at the diner.

Jackie reveals to Roseanne she's been seeing a therapist and asks her to come, meanwhile Darlene dreads a confrontation with a bully she insulted.

Roseanne frets when she must take a lie detector test at work.

Roseanne and Bonnie decide they each want Leon's job when he announces he's leaving, meanwhile Crystal goes into labor with only Dan as her coach.

Dan covers for Mark when he gets drunk at the Lobo Lounge and hides it from Roseanne.

Mother's Day finds Becky and Darlene treating Roseanne to a day at the spa with ulterior motives.

Things are tense when Becky finds out she no longer has a college fund, meanwhile DJ attends a spelling bee final.

Becky is upset after Mark gets a job offer in Minnesota and Dan is forced to close the bike shop.

Becky and Mark return to Lanford to get their stuff after eloping.

Dan and Roseanne look at Darlene in a new light after David spends the night.

After Bev sells her house and gives Roseanne and Jackie each $10,000, the girls balk at the thought of their mother moving to Lanford.

Darlene's 16th birthday sees new neighbors moving in next door and an embarrassing game of truth or dare for Roseanne.

Intent on opening a loose meat restaurant, Roseanne and Jackie are forced to turn to Bev for financial assistance.

Roseanne is visited by the ghosts of Halloween past, present and future when she can't get into the spirit of things like usual.

Roseanne finds herself upset over Bev moving into a retirement community, meanwhile Nancy announces she is a lesbian.

Arnie returns to Lanford to try and win Nancy back, and Roseanne enrolls in a self defense course after being harassed by a strange man at the Lunch Box.

Roseanne permits Darlene to accompany next door neighbor Molly to a concert in Rockford.

D.J. joins a pee wee hockey team and Jackie breaks up with Fisher.

A Christmas Eve snowstorm finds Roseanne, Jackie, Bev and Nana Mary snowed in at the diner, and Darlene at David's where she gets an eye opening view of his home life.

D.J. is busted at school for having obscene reading material. Dan meets with the principal, but dreads it, because he is certain that the reading material D.J. brought to school is one of his porno magazines. He soon discovers that the reading material is far more sick and twisted than just a skin magazine; begging the question of where D.J. got it, and leaving him speechless by the answer. Roseanne and Dan discover that Jackie has been keeping a dark secret, and each of them try to help her by dealing with it in their own, unique, way.

Dan gets bailed out of jail by an amused Darlene, while rumors fly from wild to wilder, as to why he was arrested. Jackie learns why Dan was arrested, and finds herself both angry with, and touched by Dan's protective gesture. Overwhelmed, and feeling like things are moving too fast, Jackie leans on Roseanne to help her move out of Fisher's apartment. Roseanne lovingly declares that her family is officially "Poor White Trash".

The Conners prepare for the 'Founding Fathers Day' celebration in Lanford. Roseanne sets up a food booth, where she meets the one and only, Loretta Lynn. D.J. and his Woodchuck Troup, put on the town play reenacting the signing of Lanford's incorporation. Their family's own founding father, Dan, gets a job selling hot tubs. And last, but not least, Darlene protests the Conner's involvement in the whole "meat industrial complex" with vandalism at her mother's diner that lands her in more than just hot water.

The death of their father finds Jackie a basket case and Roseanne resolving some long-buried issues, meanwhile Bev meets her husband's mistress.

Roseanne dreads the arrival of her estranged cousin Ronnie. Joan Collins guest-stars.

Needing a vacation, Roseanne and family hitch a ride to California with the next door neighbors in their Winnebago.

David is allowed to move away from his abusive mother and into the Conner's humble abode.

Roseanne and Dan plan a romantic dinner date to celebrate their twentieth wedding anniversary, but struggle with what to give one another. Dan finds out that Roseanne has decided on something expensive for him, so in order to get Roseanne a nice gift too, he takes a temporary job at Maury's Big and Tall store. His gift idea (and the job to pay for it), which seemed like a good idea at the time, soon blows up in his face.

Tired of having their Mom hanging around them all the time, Roseanne and Jackie try to encourage a relationship between Beverly and Jake, her friend from the retirement community they both live in. Molly comes on to, and kisses David, making him nervous and uncomfortable. To back her off, David confesses the plans he and Darlene have for the future, like possibly dropping out of school and running away together. Having seen and overheard this strange exchange, D.J. confronts Darlene with what he knows, and asks her if any of it is true, prompting Darlene ponders David's fate.

After some prodding from (and striking deals with) her Mom, Darlene agrees to go to the prom with David, where she has a surprise deal of her own for her boyfriend. Roger attempts to strike a deal with Dan, using the temptation of being able to make him a ton of money, but is met with a mixed reaction from the Conners. Roseanne attempts a surprise fix-up between Jackie and Roger for a couples' night out, but to Roseanne's surprise, Roger shows up with a date. His choice of date is a jaw-dropping, shock to everyone.

When it looks like the fixer-upper house Dan has invested in is going to pay off, the Conners are on top of the world. But when the buyer backs out, and one partner skips out, and the bills are due on the project-house, that world threatens to come crashing down. Pushed by Beverly's latest attempt at driving Jackie insane, Jackie finally blurts out to her Mom that she has been seeing a psychiatrist. Nancy decides she wants to have a baby, but her chosen sperm-donor turns out to be a real rotten egg. An unlikely source rides in who just may save the day for the Conners.

D.J. comes running in the house with a skinned knee. Dan and Roseanne take him to the kitchen to get fixed up, but when Dan slings open the freezer door to get ice, he accidentally hits Roseanne in the face, knocking out a tooth. After a few failed attempts earlier in their relationship, Darlene and David finally have sex for the first time. They also get the responses to their college applications. David doesn't get in, but Darlene does, prompting her to hide the truth... at first. Determined to be allowed to go to this art school in Chicago, Darlene enlists her Aunt Jackie's help to try and talk Roseanne into letting her go. Dan gets a job with the City.

Roseanne worries that Darlene may be planning to run away from home; new neighbor George befriends D.J.

Roseanne is looking forward to taking Darlene to college, but Darlene wants David to take her instead, hurting her mother's feeling in the process.

Roseanne makes a deal with Jackie, that if she asks Fred out, Roseanne will ask their mother to become a silent partner in the restaurant, and stay away. This hurts Beverly's feeling, and she swears not to have anything further to do with either one of them. Jackie and Fred go out; Fred wants to keep seeing Jackie, but she doesn't want to. Roseanne feels guilty about hurting her Mom, and wants her Mom to do something hurtful back to lessen her guilt. Beverly takes her up on it by selling her share of the diner to the last person Roseanne would have expected... or wanted.

Jackie and Roseanne plan a house-warming party for Jackie's new home, and attempt to hide it from their Mom. Roseanne invites Darlene home for the weekend with the agenda of getting David and Darlene back together. D.J. goes through a rebellious period, skipping school and enlisting Darlene's help to cover for him, making Roseanne determined for find out what he is up to. Fred pursues Jackie after their one-night-stand.

When Roseanne finds a bag of pot in David's room, she's angry---and worried about how Dan is going to react. Of course, he goes ballistic, until he realizes the stuff is a 20-year old relic of his and Roseanne's youth, inevitably, they roll a joint for old times' sake, and before you can say "like, wow," Dan, Roseanne and her sister, Jackie, are adrift in a Cheech-and-Chong time warp. At first, they have fun sneaking around like they did in the '70s, hoping not to get busted by their children, but then adult realities set in like a bad trip.

Trying to conceive another child, Roseanne puts Dan on a "love-making schedule", to no avail. Jackie discovers that she's pregnant from her one-night-stand with Fred, and is hesitant about telling him. Roseanne has no problem spreading Jackie's good news to their Mother, and their friends, but is stopped before she can tell Fred. To relieve the pressure and disappointment, Dan and Roseanne decide to stop actually trying to get pregnant, and let nature take it's course.

The Conner's gear up for their favorite holiday, with their traditional flare for trying to out-prank one another. Roseanne, the queen of Halloween, falls for the various elaborate pranks pulled on her by her family, for a change. Nancy is upset because she is painfully aware that Dan doesn't like her, so Roseanne sets out to convince her she is wrong by insisting that Dan pull a prank on Nancy, before Nancy sells her share of the diner to Leon.

Roseanne tries to encourage David to snap out of his moping about Darlene being away at school, and do something with his life, but it backfires when David decides to move back in with his Mom in Michigan. Darlene comes home for a visit to surprise David, but they wind up at each others' throats. D.J. is humiliated when the entire family figures out why he locks himself in the bathroom for long periods of time.

An old fling of Dan's, and old nemesis of Roseanne's from high school visits Dan at the City Garage, and invites him out to lunch. Jackie finds out from Fred, lies to Roseanne about where Dan is, confronts Dan at home later that evening, but believes him that it was only an innocent lunch. Unaware of how Dan spent his lunch hour, Roseanne confides in Jackie that Dan played hooky that afternoon, and the two of them had the best sex ever. Thanks to Jackie's inability to lie convincingly to Roseanne, she realizes that she has been lied to, forcing Dan to come clean about who he spent his lunch with. Enraged and humiliated, Roseanne walks out on Dan.

Following the Homecoming game, Dan holds a 25-year-reunion party for his former high school football team, begging his family to behave loving and happy for the duration. Becky and Mark come home for a visit after a long absence following their move. The two are fighting, and Becky contemplates leaving him. Roseanne invites Becky and Mark to move in so they can get on their feet financially. Darlene confides a secret she's keeping with her sister.

It's a Thanksgiving in a typical Connor family fashion. Becky volunteers to take over cooking duties while Dan and Mark are still at each others throats, Fred is shocked at the dysfunction of the family he may marry into, and Nana Mary reveals a long-kept secret about Bev's marriage.

Leon manipulates Nancy and Jackie into voting to serve breakfast at the diner, among other changes, without consulting Roseanne. Starved for attention, D.J. steals and wrecks the family car while joy-riding, causing a stressed-out Roseanne to lash out in a violent way that she quickly regrets. The power-play between Leon and Roseanne escalates, prompting Dan to have a talk with Leon about backing off. When Dan realizes that Roseanne is not just being paranoid where Leon is concerned, he steps aside, leaving Leon to Roseanne's mercy.

After receiving notice from the neighborhood association about not putting up tacky Christmas decorations on their property, the Conners go all out for a "white trash" Christmas. Dan and Roseanne offer Becky money to start college, but freak when she gives the money to her husband, Mark, to attend trade-school, forbidding her give it to him. Becky retaliates by refusing the money, taking a job in a Hooter's-like bar/restaurant, Bunz, to pay for Mark's school herself. When Beverly and D.J. drop in on Darlene unannounced, D.J. discovers a secret that Darlene has been keeping from the family. Dan teaches Mark secrets of a happy marriage.

Roseanne decides to join the Lanford Women's Association to develop contacts for her restaurant, especially since Leon is opposed to her being the one to do it. In an effort to suck-up, Roseanne makes D.J. play with one of the member's weird son, Elijah. Dan discovers that, instead of going to school every evening, Mark has been going to the Lobo Lounge because he dropped out, and didn't want Becky to know. In a special cameo skit at the end, the famous "Luke" and "Laura", from "General Hospital", compare hardships with Dan and Roseanne.

Darlene is fed up with David, who has been secretly living with her for months instead of his mother in Michigan, as Dan and Roseanne believe, but feels guilty for constantly having to lie to her parents. A miserable Becky unfairly blames Roseanne for Mark walking out on her. Tired of being blamed for the whole mess, Roseanne tries to get Mark to patch things up with Becky, seeking him out at his friend's apartment. Roseanne discovers the truth about where David is from Mark's confused roommate, prompting her to go to Chicago, and drag David home with her, but lies to Dan about why David is back in the house.

Roseanne and Becky try to convince Dan to hire Mark at the city garage. Riddled with guilt (and tired of Roseanne working him like a dog), David confessed to Dan that he was living with Darlene in Chicago instead of his mother's in Michigan. Furious, Dan throws him out of the house, telling Roseanne to take him to the bus station and send him to Michigan for real, but she takes him to Jackie's instead. Roseanne goes on a mission to guilt Dan into taking David back. Jackie is upset when she discovers that, with Roseanne's help, Fred has been sneaking financial support for the baby into her tip jar, since she wants nothing to do with him.

Darlene comes home to try to convince her father to let David move back in the house "from Michigan", without success. After catching David making out in the basement with Darlene, Dan finds out that he was lied to by his family once again, discovering that not only did David not go to his mother's in Michigan when Dan threw him out, but that he was staying with Jackie... and that Roseanne was responsible. Darlene joins David at Jackie's house, to get away from her angry father. Jackie gets irritated when people keep asking her to leave the room, in her own house, when they want to talk out their problems.

Since Jackie has made it very clear that Fred is not welcome to be a part of their baby's life, Fred retaliates with plans to sue Jackie for custody after the birth, which throws Jackie into hysterics. Fighting over whether Fred has the right to force himself into his baby's life, split the men and women of the Conner house. Roseanne learns that Dan put the idea in Fred's head, which puts him under the doghouse. Mark and D.J. gang up on David to challenge his masculinity, or lack there of.

Nancy introduces her new girlfriend, Sharon, to Roseanne and Jackie. Sharon invites them to go out dancing with she and Nancy at a gay bar, and winds up giving Roseanne a romantic kiss. This freaks Roseanne out, but she has a hard time figuring out why. Jackie is openly uncomfortable about people assuming she might be gay, which prompts an amused Roseanne to behave like they are a couple.

Jackie tells Roseanne that Fred wants to be in the delivery room, and the hospital will only allow one extra person to be with her. When Jackie realizes that she is in labor, Roseanne puts off calling Fred to let him know, in hopes that she will get to be the one who stays with Jackie during the delivery. Guilt over this delay gets the better of her, and she sends Dan out to try and find him. Beverly reveals to Jackie that she was born with the name "Margorie", but that Roseanne had trouble saying it, calling her "My Jackie" instead, and the name stuck.

Audrey cries to Dan about his father owing her money, so he confronts Ed, hoping he will do the right thing. Jackie and Fred go out on a "get to know you better" date, in hopes of building an honest, solid relationship. Jackie admits to Fred the fact that she has had a lot more sexual partners than he has, causing a rift, and a step backwards in the relationship they are trying to build. D.J. goes through a rebellious stage.

Dan's mother, Audrey, is put into a mental institute, and Dan blames the years of neglect by his father for her emotional problems. Determined to confront his Dad, he shows up at Ed's second wife, Crystal's house drunk and destructive. Crystal, tired of Dan blaming everything on her husband, tells Roseanne a secret about Audrey that had been kept from Dan his whole life. Dan is mortified an filled with disbelief about Crystal's revelations. The older Conner-Healy kids work overtime to make D.J. think he might be crazy too.

Darlene discovers that D.J. has been sneaking off after to school to attend church; D.J. gives Roseanne a hard time about morals when she accepts a mistaken delivery of a second stove at the diner.

Roseanne finds out Bev didn't get injured by slipping in the shower like she told everybody. Fred plans to propose to Jackie.

Fred climbs out of the doghouse with Jackie by gathering inspiration from her soaps, and figuring out a romantic way to propose to her. David climbs into the doghouse with Darlene by commenting that it's a woman's obligation to bear children. Dan joins David in the doghouse when his attempt to be romantic with Roseanne fall short. Roseanne dreams of being romanced by the men on One Life to Live (1968).

Fred is unsettled by the fact that Jackie turns to Dan, and not him, when she needs help from a man. Upset, convinced that Jackie has feeling for Dan, and half-drunk, Fred confronts Dan, takes a swing at him, and tells Jackie that maybe they shouldn't get married, but offers no explanation. Dan tells Roseanne, who tells Jackie what is really troubling Fred, and they both have a good laugh at the idea. Clearing the air paves the way for Fred and Jackie's wedding.

Feeling at the end of their "privacy" rope, Roseanne and Dan decide to throw Becky and Mark out of the house. Becky confides that she and Mark are trying to get pregnant, so the plan to ask them to leave gets thrown out the window. Jackie argues with Fred about how she wants the baby to sleep in bed with them, and he wants Andy to sleep in his own crib. Upset, Jackie takes the baby and heads for Roseanne's already over-crowded house to stay there herself. To top it all off, D.J. is having a friend of his own spend the weekend. The straw that breaks the camel's back for Dan, is when everyone in the house congregates in Dan's bathroom while he was trying to have a private conversation with Roseanne. Fed up, he seeks refuge at Fred's house. Roseanne makes a shocking discovery.

Roseanne discovers that Darlene is seeing someone besides David, and that he knows about it, so she encourages David to fight for his relationship. Dan confides in Jackie that he is unsure how he feels about Roseanne's pregnancy, and finds comfort, but when he tells Roseanne about his insecurities, it blows up in his face. Roseanne confides in Jackie that she is having the same doubts.

Upset about Darlene breaking up with him, David tells the Conner's that Darlene experimented with drugs while away at school. Roseanne forbids Darlene to return to school, David volunteers to help "keep an eye" on her. Concerned that perhaps they are doing the wrong thing, and after confronting Darlene, Dan convinces Roseanne to at least reconsider her decision.

Dan, Fred and Mark enter the realm of 'too much information' when their wives confide in one another, and then spread the word back to the men about their sexual activities, and lack thereof.

Becky thinks David's crushing on her when he admits to a sexual dream involving a Connor woman other than Darlene. But David soon reveals that is in fact, Roseanne, that he dreamed of.

Roseanne's attempts to prank everybody at Leon's Halloween party at the diner fall flat when it's revealed to her that Fred is gay.

D.J. wants out of his busboy job at the Lunch Box, and David wants to put the kibosh on Darlene's moving in with her new squeeze Jimmy--who misinterprets David's obsessive interest in him.

Roseanne and Jackie go to Chicago for Parent's Day, to surprise Darlene, and in hopes of meeting her new boyfriend, Jimmy. David wants to learn how to be tough, in order to compete with Darlene's boyfriend, who is a boxer, for her affections. Roseanne assigns Dan to help David feel good about just being himself. D.J. is getting picked on at school by a bully, but refuses to learn to fight back for fear that getting hit will hurt. Fred is impressed with Dan's parenting, until he figures out that Dan is only doing what Roseanne tells him to.

Dan and Roseanne find out that D.J. wants to skip participating in his school play because he has to kiss a black girl, and is uncomfortable about it. Roseanne wants to force him, and Dan is worried that D.J. might have gotten prejudiced ideas by something he has unwittingly said or done. Jackie is perplexed by the fact that Fred seems to enjoy spending time with her mother.

It's a Thanksgiving full of tension and anxiety when Roseanne gets alarming news about her baby from the prenatal clinic. The discomfort is only worsened when Nana Mary shows up with her new husband and upsets Bev, and the rest of the family, by discussing the two abortions she (Nana Mary) had years before.

Tensions are heightened at the Connor house as a short-fused Roseanne waits for the amniocentesis results. Dan tries his best to help devise a solution and comfort Roseanne but his good intentions are misinterpreted. Everyone seems to have an opinion on the situation, which only angers Roseanne and intensifies her doubts and fears.

Roseanne and Dan are called down to the school to see D.J.'s teacher because he refuses to write his homework on the board, and his teacher is concerned that D.J. may have a learning disability. Dan discovers that it is not because he can't do the work, but because he is at that age where boys sometimes get an involuntary erection, and D.J. is embarrassed to stand up. The family meets David's new girlfriend, Dinah. Darlene discovers that David is actually developing feelings for Becky.

Dan and Roseanne are shocked, and amused, when they find out their new next door neighbors are a couple of geriatric nudists. Meanwhile, Darlene suspects David of cheating on her with Becky.

After being arrested for D.U.I., Beverly is forced to attend Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.) meetings, where she discovers that she might really be an alcoholic. This new realization does not bode well for the family, since Roseanne is forbidding anyone to drink while Beverly is in the house, which quickly puts an end to Dan's super-bowl party. Dan, Jackie, and Fred sneak out to the garage to drink and watch the game on an old portable TV, until Beverly catches them, and pitches a fit, prompting Roseanne to pitch a fit, or two, of her own.

Roseanne pretends to be ill in order to get some rest and relaxation to the exhaustion of everyone else in the family, who are at her beck and call. David discovers Roseanne's faking but when he confronts her, Roseanne strikes a deal with him that he reluctantly accepts. Meanwhile, Jackie confronts Beverly about being an awful mother and is stunned by her reaction.

Fred tells Jackie that he doesn't want D.J. to visit their house so much anymore, because he gets weirder every time he comes over. In order to protect Fred, Jackie tells Roseanne that she is the one who has a problem with D.J. constantly being at her house, which infuriates Roseanne. Dan tricks Darlene into coming home for the weekend and tries to make the girls stop bickering for their Mother's sake. D.J. expresses a strange, new fascination with eating cardboard.

The green-eyed monster emerges in force between David and Mark when they both become interested in Stacy, a waitress at the Lunch Box, whom David asks to pose for a wall mural. Jackie thinks her sex life with Fred needs spicing up while Fred is happy leaving well enough alone.

In Roseanne's absence, Dan discovers something troubling about Jackie and gets some sound advice from David.

Youngsters Roseanne and Jackie visit a fortuneteller who gives them a peek into their futures via his crystal ball. In the future, Jackie takes an adult, autistic D.J. to see a psychiatrist.

Youngsters Roseanne and Jackie visit a fortuneteller who gives them a peek into their futures via his crystal ball. In the future, Jackie takes an adult, autistic D.J. to see a psychiatrist.

Fred is still angry and bitter about his separation from Jackie while Jackie is beginning to see the sliver lining and starts going on outings that Fred never enjoyed. Meanwhile, Roseanne begins meddling in order to get the two of them back together but begins to regret it when she realizes how unsure Jackie is that she even loves Fred anymore.

Mark and Becky find a tiny run-down trailer in a trailer park, and decide to make it home. Determined to fix up their home all on their own, they turn down offers of assistance from Dan and Roseanne, who in turn have to find covert way to help the kids out. Roseanne discovers that they will need to come up with $2,000 to prepay for the baby's doctor and hospital stay.

Dan lays down the law when DJ lets a pushy, aggressive girl order him around but Roseanne likes the girl in question. But when the relationship lands DJ in trouble at school, Roseanne has to intervene. Jackie and Fred go to marriage counselor to help solve their relationship problems.

Roseanne is upset over the possibility that David may like a girl more than Darlene, who may lose David if she doesn't fight for him.

The Conners are selected to be a "Neilsen Family". Roseanne, who is going through a nesting period in her pregnancy, insists that the family watch nothing but educational-type programing to prove to the Neilsen people that they are not white trash. After Dan breaks the couch, Roseanne accepts a hand-me-down couch from her Mother, but soon regrets it. Jackie and Fred make a life-altering decision.

David announces to the Conners that he wants to spend a month in Europe after graduation, but Darlene selfishly pressures him out of it. Dan starts working on building his boat again, but Roseanne insists that they can't afford it, and makes fun of his dream, launching into a fantasy where she and her family play the castaways on Gilligan's Island (1964). Cast members from Gilligan's Island (1964) cameo as members of the Conner family.

D.J.'s old bedroom is being converted into a nursery for the new baby. After discovering that a new baby crib is out of her price range, Roseanne schemes up a baby shower in hopes of getting at least forty $10.00 gifts, that she can exchange for the $400.00 crib. This plan threatens to backfire when the gifts are mostly homemade, or are otherwise nonexchangeable. After being unable to work together to paint the nursery without squabbling, Roseanne reassigns Becky and Darlene to throw the baby shower instead, but the girls are still at each other's throats because Darlene refuses to pull her weight, sticking Becky with all the work. Roseanne gets David to throw a "guy" baby shower for Dan with the men at his shop, hoping for even more exchangeable gifts, but that backfires as well.

Roseanne sparks a fight with Jackie when she feeds Andy junk food against Jackie's orders. Dan spends some "quality" time with DJ to show his son that he does more than watch television and drink beer all day.

A new diner is opening up across the street from Roseanne and Jackie's diner, and they are worried that it will spell the end for "The Lunch Box". To promote the new restaurant's grand opening, the owners hire Pat Harrington Jr., who played Dwayne Schneider from the '70s sitcom One Day at a Time (1975). When Roseanne discovers that they have a salad bar, and are serving loose meat sandwiches, she declares war. When adding a waffle bar, staying open late, and dressing up the menu doesn't seem to work, Roseanne decides to sabotage the new diner with raw fish, only to wind up stuck in an exhaust vent over a stove. The cast of Stomp does a dance at the diner.

Roseanne and Dan decide to go out on the town one final time before the baby is born. After finding out that their diner table at the nice hotel they're staying at will be unavailable for quite some time, they crash a Bar Mitzvah taking place in the private dining room. Becky and Darlene discover a bottle of peppermint schnapps at the restaurant after closing and get wasted.

Roseanne goes into labor on her favorite holiday (Halloween) and gives birth on a pain-medication-induced psychedelic trip.

The Conners are caught in a time warp back to the 1950s in which Roseanne is a cheerful, frilly housewife, Dan is the head of the house, Jackie is an eccentric next door neighbor, Becky is a poodle-skirt wearing teenage girl with a hunky boyfriend, David is an exchange student from Canada, and DJ is an aspiring rock star who's under pressure from his dad to be a football player.

Roseanne and Jackie's shopping trip turns into a road trip when they pick up a hitchhiking teenage girl. Dan gives Mark relationship advice that severely backfires.

DJ's teacher lets the class design their own Thanksgiving pageant, which turns into a Pulp Fiction spoof that offends many parents. Roseanne invites some new Native American friends over for Thanksgiving.

Dan is regretful and depressed when his old band comes to town to play a gig. Roseanne talks the band mates into giving Dan a chance onstage, which he enjoys to the fullest.

Roseanne narrates a video for her baby and wants everyone in the family to have a part in it. Darlene and Becky find Dan and Roseanne's old love letters. Fred is determined to seem intelligent and interesting to Jackie but only succeeds in making her feel more crushed by their divorce. Dan attempts to comfort Jackie while Mark prepares a special dinner for the family.

Roseanne finally gets to meet Leon's fiancé, Scott, and learns that they are planning a wedding. In order to free Leon up to travel to Minnesota to meet the minister, Roseanne volunteers to finish planning the wedding - which becomes "one gigantic, offensive, Roseanniacle ball of wrong". Leon develops a bad case of cold feet, and it is Roseanne to the rescue.

Roseanne and Jackie get jobs as product promoters in the local supermarket. Once they start giving out samples, however, sibling rivalry takes over. Roseanne's jealousy runs high when Jackie begins outselling her and their friendly competition turns into a literal food fight.

The Conners receive a small inheritance from their Great Aunt Harriet and decide to spend it by going out on a nice dinner. However, the evening takes a turn for the worse when Darlene unexpectedly comes home. She spends most of her time alienating and insulting the rest of the family until a surprising fact about Darlene is revealed and the family bites back.

Mark tries to cheer up a glum Becky by inviting the family over for a surprise get-together. As the night goes on, Becky's mood only worsens which prompts Roseanne to pull her aside for a heart to heart talk. Becky admits she feels like she missed her chance to go to college and become a therapist or an EMT. Becky even admits to having second thoughts about her marriage to Mark.

Nana Mary visits Roseanne and Jackie at Jackie's house, and brings a box of their childhood belongings. Among them was a doll that Jackie thought was lost forever, and causes a huge fight when Jackie realizes that Roseanne was the one who hid it from her all those years ago out of jealousy. Dan has a poker game at the house, and Roseanne convinces him to invite Leon and Scott, but is worried that they will spend the whole night nagging each other like housewives. The men have a spirited discussion about how blacks, gays, and poor white men are looked upon in this country.

Dan is at a crossroads when a promising new construction job opens up that could make him and his old crew a lot of money. He struggles with whether to continue his job at the garage or to strike while the iron is hot on the construction job. Meanwhile, Jackie reluctantly starts using the internet on her new computer and is amazed how much she likes it. She becomes so obsessed a concerned David has to intervene.

The Conner family decides to throw caution to the wind by spending Dan's last paycheck from the garage on a vacation to Disney World.

Magic, wonder, and whimsy surround the Conner family on their tour of Disney World. The only person not amused is Darlene...until she meets Winnie the Pooh.

David moves out when he gets a job at a strange local theme park. Soon, David is transformed into "Hans the Hare", a hyperactive and perky park employee. Roseanne steps into action in order to get the real David back.

After proposing marriage to David, Darlene tells him that she is pregnant. They plan to wait to tell the family, but Roseanne smells the fear and jokingly guesses, correctly, the Darlene is pregnant. Dan is convinced that they are not ready to start a family, and is openly not happy for them at all. Roseanne, knowing that there is nothing she can do, feigns happiness and tries to give Darlene advice and support.

A producer and reporter from "Wake up Chicago" come into the diner wanting to do a "Man-on-the-Street" interview about the diner owners - to which Roseanne, Jackie, and Leon readily, and eagerly agree. Leon stumbles through his interview nervously, like a deer caught in headlights. Jackie babbles through hers like a hyper manic who's been off her medication. But Roseanne nails her interview, and gets a job offer to do a one-minute spot on the air - where Roseanne gets to speak her mind about whatever she wants. God help TV.

Bev is smitten with her charismatic ballroom-dance instructor until he starts putting the moves on a newly divorced Jackie. When Jackie agrees to a date with the instructor, jealousy takes hold of Bev.

Darlene and David get married. Dan suffers a heart attack during the ceremony.

Dan is rushed to the hospital after having a heart attack and Roseanne tries to pull herself together while she's stuck in the waiting room.

Dan returns home from the hospital but Roseanne finds out he's not sticking to the doctor's orders.

After leaving Dan for not taking better care of himself, Roseanne goes on a "spiritual odyssey", imagining herself and Dan as Ann and Donald from "That Girl", Jeannie and Major Nelson from "I Dream of Jeannie", and Mary and Lou from "The Mary Tylor Moore Show". The family tries console Dan, and encourage Roseanne to reconcile with her heart-broken husband. Jackie discovers that they won the Illinois State Lottery worth 108 million dollars.

After finding out they won the Illinois State Lottery, the Conners and family imagine how to spend their new-found wealth. Kathleen Sullivan and Robin Leach interview Dan and Roseanne in their home. Throwing a party in their home proves that people really do come out of the woodwork to help celebrate wealth. Dan and Roseanne vow to not let money change who they are.

While sitting around the dinner table with her family, talking about their lottery winnings, Roseanne daydreams about herself and the family being on "Jerry Springer Show, The" (1991), she and Jackie posing for "Playboy", and winning the Miss Universe contest.

Jackie and Roseanne plan an expensive spa vacation. Depressed about his mother, Dan searches for the meaning of life. He decides that now that he can afford it, he wants to take her to California for a thorough evaluation of her psychiatric condition. The crowned Prince of Muldavia sees Jackie on TV and decides he must go to Lanford to meet her.

Jackie literally meets her prince charming, who whisks her and the family away to New York City.

Roseanne and Jackie's relaxing spa weekend turns out to be a disaster.

After a night of drinking with the New York socialites, Roseanne has a strange dream about the future of Darlene and her baby.

The Conners get a taste of upper crust living when they visit the wealthy Wentworth family at their home on Martha's Vineyard. The experience proves eye-opening when the Conner family discovers the pill-popping, alcohol-sipping, and irresponsibility of Astrid's dysfunctional family. As the weekend drags on, the Conners give the Wentworths a lesson in real life.

Roseanne battles a group terrorists holding her family and a foreign diplomat hostage on a train to Washington D.C.

Thanksgiving for the Conners starts on a sour note with the news Dan won't be able to make it home for the holiday. However, Roseanne is thrilled she can afford to have the meal catered instead of spending an entire day in the kitchen. Family squabbles combined with a shocking revelation by Bev nearly ruins the evening. The family must contend with the fact that money does not necessarily buy happiness.

Roseanne misses Dan and tries to prepare the home for his return. Bev visits with Nana Mary to talk about her life and makes a startling discovery.

Dan finally returns home after a long stay in California with his ill mother. He, Roseanne, and the entire family realize how much they have to be thankful for as one of the oddest and most trying years of their lives comes to an end. The only problem is how distant and uncomfortable Dan seems to be around Roseanne.

Jackie forces Dan to reveal some devastating news to Roseanne while Jackie deals with turmoil in her own relationship. DJ wants to videotape the birth of Darlene's baby.

Dan regretfully packs his bags and prepares to leave home for good. Roseanne deals with her sorrows by driving aimlessly around Lanford.

When Roseanne falls into a deep depression and locks herself in the bedroom, family and friends try their hardest to pick her spirits back up. When their efforts prove fruitless, they stage an intervention to rouse a lethargic Roseanne out of bed.

Roseanne makes a surprising connection with Edgar Wellman Jr., the son of her hated former boss, at a Lanford Country Club party. When he reveals some awful news about the future of Lanford, Roseanne may be the only one who can save her hometown.

Once the Wellman Plastics buyout is completed, Roseanne is at a loss for what to do when a mutual attraction springs between herself and Edgar Wellman Jr.

Dan is unnerved by rumors of Roseanne and Edgar so he makes a surprise trip to see her. They make some tentative steps to putting the pieces of their marriage back together. Their peace in interrupted when a frantic call comes in from Jackie: Darlene has unexpectedly been rushed to the hospital.

Darlene gives birth to a very premature baby girl. The doctors and specialists have very little hope for the baby's survival. The family is crushed but Roseanne is determined to prove pure love, affection, and a tender touch are more powerful than any medicine.

Jackie and Mark attend a female wrestling match, DJ is unprepared when a quiet night with Heather goes farther than expected, and Bev is introduced to a new "friend" named Joyce.

The Conners are approached by different network and cable film developers, each hoping to get the right to their "rags to riches" story. What starts out as excitement and enthusiasm for the family, soon dims when they realize that none of the producers they interview with wants to portray them as they really are. A tabloid reporter approaches Beverly, Joan and Leon for stories about Roseanne and her family, and they are only too eager to dish the dirt.

Dan's estranged mother heads straight to Lanford for a visit after she's released from the hospital. However, Dan suspects she's far from cured and is afraid she's trying to kill him.

The Conners welcome baby Harris Conner-Healy home. Roseanne is delighted Darlene wants to live at home and work on her parenting skills. The family talks about their lives after winning the lottery and are glad they have all come out of it stronger people. Over a pizza dinner, Roseanne suggests they say grace to thank God that Harris survived and the family is together again.

Family and friends gather at the Conner house to celebrate baby Harris' Homecoming and everyone takes a turn chatting with the new addition to the family. Mark and Becky have some exciting news, as do Leon and his husband Scott. During dinner, Roseanne takes time to reflect on each member of her family and reveals she has been writing a book; everything we see is Roseanne's altered version of actual events. Roseanne reveals the true story and admits she changed whatever details she didn't like about her life and the people in it. In truth, the Conners never won the lottery; it was all a fantasy Roseanne created in order to cope with a devastating reality. In the final moments, Roseanne sits alone in her basement writing room. She goes upstairs, passing through the old kitchen and the old living room. Roseanne sits on the old couch with the classic afghan on the back and silently takes in the warmth and comfort of the family home as the lights slowly fade.