Two and a Half Men

2003 • CBS
4.3
2.88K reviews
Eligible
Watch in a web browser or on supported devices Learn More

Season 5 episodes (19)

1 Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
9/24/07
In the fifth season premiere, Charlie and Alan try to prepare Jake for his first day of junior high school -- but they might end up traumatizing him instead.
2 Media Room Slash Dungeon
10/1/07
Charlie reacts oddly after an evening with his mother. And Alan's date, Sharon (JANEANE GAROFALO - "The Larry Sanders Show," "The West Wing"), reacts oddly after having sex with Alan.
3 Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
10/8/07
Tired of dating vapid young women, Charlie allows Alan to introduce him to a sophisticated, intelligent municipal court judge, Linda (recurring guest star MING WEN - "ER," "The Joy Luck Club"). Unfortunately, intimidated Charlie behaves so badly at dinner that Linda refuses to see him again -- until he ends up in her court. Meanwhile, Jake won't stop talking on his cell phone.
4 City of Great Racks
10/15/07
In the landmark 100th episode, Charlie gets closer to consummating his relationship with Linda (recurring guest star MING WEN), but he keeps seeing Rose's (former series star MELANIE LYNSKEY) face everywhere he turns. Recurring guest star JANE LYNCH appears as Dr. Freeman.
5 Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
10/22/07
Charlie has to find creative ways to entertain the 4-year-old son of his girlfriend, Linda (recurring guest star MING WEN). Meanwhile, Alan becomes a human "guinea pig."
6 Help Daddy Find His Toenail
10/29/07
Charlie's girlfriend, Linda (recurring guest star MING WEN), is embarrassed to be seen in public with him. Meanwhile, despite Alan forbidding it, Jake sneaks out to a concert.
7 Our Leather Gear is in the Guest Room
11/5/07
Charlie and Alan argue over Alan's place in the house, prompting Alan and Jake to move in with Evelyn. Recurring guest star ROBERT WAGNER appears as Teddy, Evelyn's boyfriend.
8 Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
11/12/07
Charlie finds success as a children's singing star, making Alan miserable. Guest star RICHARD KIND ("Spin City") appears as Artie, an executive at Charlie's record label.
9 Tight's Good
11/19/07
After Evelyn and Teddy (recurring guest star ROBERT WAGNER - "Hart to Hart," "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me") become engaged, Charlie struggles to fight his attraction to Teddy's daughter, Courtney (guest star JENNY McCARTHY - "Scary Movie 3," "Dirty Love"), Charlie's soon-to-be stepsister.
10 Kinda Like Necrophilia
11/26/07
While trying to help Jake get over a breakup, Alan discovers that it was Charlie who stole his high school girlfriend. Alan seeks revenge on Charlie by following the same advice Charlie dispenses to Jake.
11 Meander to Your Dander
3/17/08
Seeing Alan not fully passionate about his relationship, Charlie coaches Alan in the fine art of breaking up with a woman.
12 A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
3/24/08
Rose (recurring guest star MELANIE LYNSKEY), Charlie's lovable stalker, is back from England and takes strange care of a very sick Charlie.
13 The Soil is Moist
3/31/08
Alan dates one of his ex-wife's friends who reveals a secret about Judith's sex life. Recurring guest star RYAN STILES appears as Judith's second husband.
14 Winky-Dink Time
4/14/08
Charlie goes with Jake on a double date and sets Alan up with a prostitute. Recurring guest star MELANIE LYNSKEY appears as Rose.
15 Rough Night in Hump Junction
4/21/08
Alan worries that Charlie's womanizing is out of control. JANE LYNCH returns as Charlie's therapist, and EMMANUELLE VAUGIER returns as Charlie's former fiancée, Mia.
16 Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty
4/28/08
Alan plans Evelyn's wedding to Teddy (ROBERT WAGNER), while Charlie pursues his future stepsister and Teddy's devious daughter, Courtney (JENNY McCARTHY).
17 Fish in a Drawer
5/5/08
A CSI team investigates a mysterious death at Charlie's house. George Eads ("CSI: Crime Scene Investigation") makes a cameo appearance.
18 If My Hole Could Talk
5/12/08
Charlie finds himself attracted to Angie (recurring guest star SUSAN BLAKELY), an older woman who writes self-help books. Meanwhile, Alan and Jake battle over a school assignment.
19 Waiting for the Right Snapper
5/19/08
Charlie tries to resist temptation when he meets the grown daughter of the woman he's dating (SUSAN BLAKELY) and realizes they've met before. JANE LYNCH guest stars as Dr. Freeman.

About this show

Charlie Sheen and Jon Cryer star in this Emmy®-nominated comedy. Sheen plays a Malibu bachelor with an easy way with women. His casual lifestyle is interrupted when his uptight brother (Cryer) and his son stay with him. Despite the complexities of their lives, this unusual family unit promises to make each one of them a better man.

Ratings and reviews

4.3
2.88K reviews
Jessie B
May 29, 2017
I absolutely love the show, & I'm shocked at how many people hate it since Charlie left! I completely expected the show to be doomed once Charlie left, so I was pleasantly surprise, & totally impressed, at how they seemlessly carried on with "Walden", & were able to make it make any sense at all! In my opinion, changing a main character without changing a whole lot about a show's dynamic took brilliance on the writers' parts, & deserves, at least some, acknowledgement. What does bug me tho, is how they've changed "Alan" into SUCH a blatant mooch. I know he's always been a mooch, but at least it used to stem from necessity (due to losing everything in his divorce, paying alimony & child support, etc) &, for the most part, it bothered him to live off of Charlie or take money from his mother, etc... now, however, they make a big production out of him constantly, knowingly taking advantage, & doing so on purpose & even proudly, every chance he gets! ((Gag!!!) Other than that tho, I think they've done a great job changing the show enough to be able to continue it at all... I really didn't think it was possible. & Ashton is a perfect fit for this part. Similar in some ways but different enough that he's not expected to BE Charlie. I still love the show (I especially love "Berta") & I wish they were still making new episodes. {Btw, for all of u who are blaming the network for firing Charlie, u might be surprised to hear the real reason(s) they let Charlie go. IF my research & understanding is correct, it's 100% Charlie's own fault that he lost his part on this show.}
262 people found this review helpful
Did you find this helpful?
Ms D
March 6, 2016
I am a Two and a half Men junkie. I watch the old ones (with Charlie Sheen) every day. I never thought Ashton was a bad cast, it was just not the same. Once they added Charlies daughter they totally lost me. The show got stupid. The finale was okay.
40 people found this review helpful
Did you find this helpful?
Bonnie Enright
March 17, 2015
The shows comedy has decreased every season since Charlie left. With charlie they seemed to disrespect women due to how they were raised but lately it seems like the back story is women are stupid. And men misuse women because women are only after money and don't have any sense of their own. You can really see what the writers think of women.
134 people found this review helpful
Did you find this helpful?

Rate this show

Tell us what you think.