Two and a Half Men

2003 • CBS
4.3
2.88K reviews
Eligible
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Season 5 episodes (19)

1 Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
9/24/07
In the fifth season premiere, Charlie and Alan try to prepare Jake for his first day of junior high school -- but they might end up traumatizing him instead.
2 Media Room Slash Dungeon
10/1/07
Charlie reacts oddly after an evening with his mother. And Alan's date, Sharon (JANEANE GAROFALO - "The Larry Sanders Show," "The West Wing"), reacts oddly after having sex with Alan.
3 Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
10/8/07
Tired of dating vapid young women, Charlie allows Alan to introduce him to a sophisticated, intelligent municipal court judge, Linda (recurring guest star MING WEN - "ER," "The Joy Luck Club"). Unfortunately, intimidated Charlie behaves so badly at dinner that Linda refuses to see him again -- until he ends up in her court. Meanwhile, Jake won't stop talking on his cell phone.
4 City of Great Racks
10/15/07
In the landmark 100th episode, Charlie gets closer to consummating his relationship with Linda (recurring guest star MING WEN), but he keeps seeing Rose's (former series star MELANIE LYNSKEY) face everywhere he turns. Recurring guest star JANE LYNCH appears as Dr. Freeman.
5 Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
10/22/07
Charlie has to find creative ways to entertain the 4-year-old son of his girlfriend, Linda (recurring guest star MING WEN). Meanwhile, Alan becomes a human "guinea pig."
6 Help Daddy Find His Toenail
10/29/07
Charlie's girlfriend, Linda (recurring guest star MING WEN), is embarrassed to be seen in public with him. Meanwhile, despite Alan forbidding it, Jake sneaks out to a concert.
7 Our Leather Gear is in the Guest Room
11/5/07
Charlie and Alan argue over Alan's place in the house, prompting Alan and Jake to move in with Evelyn. Recurring guest star ROBERT WAGNER appears as Teddy, Evelyn's boyfriend.
8 Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
11/12/07
Charlie finds success as a children's singing star, making Alan miserable. Guest star RICHARD KIND ("Spin City") appears as Artie, an executive at Charlie's record label.
9 Tight's Good
11/19/07
After Evelyn and Teddy (recurring guest star ROBERT WAGNER - "Hart to Hart," "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me") become engaged, Charlie struggles to fight his attraction to Teddy's daughter, Courtney (guest star JENNY McCARTHY - "Scary Movie 3," "Dirty Love"), Charlie's soon-to-be stepsister.
10 Kinda Like Necrophilia
11/26/07
While trying to help Jake get over a breakup, Alan discovers that it was Charlie who stole his high school girlfriend. Alan seeks revenge on Charlie by following the same advice Charlie dispenses to Jake.
11 Meander to Your Dander
3/17/08
Seeing Alan not fully passionate about his relationship, Charlie coaches Alan in the fine art of breaking up with a woman.
12 A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
3/24/08
Rose (recurring guest star MELANIE LYNSKEY), Charlie's lovable stalker, is back from England and takes strange care of a very sick Charlie.
13 The Soil is Moist
3/31/08
Alan dates one of his ex-wife's friends who reveals a secret about Judith's sex life. Recurring guest star RYAN STILES appears as Judith's second husband.
14 Winky-Dink Time
4/14/08
Charlie goes with Jake on a double date and sets Alan up with a prostitute. Recurring guest star MELANIE LYNSKEY appears as Rose.
15 Rough Night in Hump Junction
4/21/08
Alan worries that Charlie's womanizing is out of control. JANE LYNCH returns as Charlie's therapist, and EMMANUELLE VAUGIER returns as Charlie's former fiancée, Mia.
16 Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty
4/28/08
Alan plans Evelyn's wedding to Teddy (ROBERT WAGNER), while Charlie pursues his future stepsister and Teddy's devious daughter, Courtney (JENNY McCARTHY).
17 Fish in a Drawer
5/5/08
A CSI team investigates a mysterious death at Charlie's house. George Eads ("CSI: Crime Scene Investigation") makes a cameo appearance.
18 If My Hole Could Talk
5/12/08
Charlie finds himself attracted to Angie (recurring guest star SUSAN BLAKELY), an older woman who writes self-help books. Meanwhile, Alan and Jake battle over a school assignment.
19 Waiting for the Right Snapper
5/19/08
Charlie tries to resist temptation when he meets the grown daughter of the woman he's dating (SUSAN BLAKELY) and realizes they've met before. JANE LYNCH guest stars as Dr. Freeman.

About this show

Charlie Sheen and Jon Cryer star in this Emmy®-nominated comedy. Sheen plays a Malibu bachelor with an easy way with women. His casual lifestyle is interrupted when his uptight brother (Cryer) and his son stay with him. Despite the complexities of their lives, this unusual family unit promises to make each one of them a better man.

Ratings and reviews

4.3
2.88K reviews
Connie Sewell
August 1, 2015
Charlie Sheen was the man for the job. Having said that, I think that Kutcher is doing the best he can with what he is given. Berta (Conchata Farrell) is, of course, flawless and right on time.The fact of the matter is that Sheen is irreplaceable in this role and the show dynamic just begs for his brand of funky, drunken wit. Sorry Lorre, it just ain't the same; but with one glaring exception. The finale is easily the best series end I have ever seen. Hands down.
17 people found this review helpful
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Jon Doh!
May 25, 2014
They really destroyed the show by replacing Charlie Sheen with "what's his face". Plus, they have ruined Alan's character completely! The writers have gotten worse and worse. The original show was crude, but funny. But then. they went to downright crass, disgusting and utterly stupid when they changed everything. Without Charlie, the new show really stinks. I only watch the reruns with Charlie Sheen. I'd even prefer to watch old reruns of M*A*S*H than the new version of Two and a Half Men.
315 people found this review helpful
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Lillian Cellitti
December 10, 2014
I still can't believed that they replaced Charlie with Ashton! Doesn't make a good fit. He did better in "That 70's Show". And I don't like the other guy anymore, I don't like him so much, that I don't know his name! After Charlie got fired, the show just sucked. I can't believe they have 12 seasons of that trash! Ashton doesn't fit in. And is that creepy weird woman still there? The one that climbs through the balcony.Any way, the show sucks now.
19 people found this review helpful
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