Two and a Half Men

In the fifth season premiere, Charlie and Alan try to prepare Jake for his first day of junior high school -- but they might end up traumatizing him instead.

Charlie reacts oddly after an evening with his mother. And Alan's date, Sharon (JANEANE GAROFALO - "The Larry Sanders Show," "The West Wing"), reacts oddly after having sex with Alan.

Tired of dating vapid young women, Charlie allows Alan to introduce him to a sophisticated, intelligent municipal court judge, Linda (recurring guest star MING WEN - "ER," "The Joy Luck Club"). Unfortunately, intimidated Charlie behaves so badly at dinner that Linda refuses to see him again -- until he ends up in her court. Meanwhile, Jake won't stop talking on his cell phone.

In the landmark 100th episode, Charlie gets closer to consummating his relationship with Linda (recurring guest star MING WEN), but he keeps seeing Rose's (former series star MELANIE LYNSKEY) face everywhere he turns. Recurring guest star JANE LYNCH appears as Dr. Freeman.

Charlie has to find creative ways to entertain the 4-year-old son of his girlfriend, Linda (recurring guest star MING WEN). Meanwhile, Alan becomes a human "guinea pig."

Charlie's girlfriend, Linda (recurring guest star MING WEN), is embarrassed to be seen in public with him. Meanwhile, despite Alan forbidding it, Jake sneaks out to a concert.

Charlie and Alan argue over Alan's place in the house, prompting Alan and Jake to move in with Evelyn. Recurring guest star ROBERT WAGNER appears as Teddy, Evelyn's boyfriend.

Charlie finds success as a children's singing star, making Alan miserable. Guest star RICHARD KIND ("Spin City") appears as Artie, an executive at Charlie's record label.

After Evelyn and Teddy (recurring guest star ROBERT WAGNER - "Hart to Hart," "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me") become engaged, Charlie struggles to fight his attraction to Teddy's daughter, Courtney (guest star JENNY McCARTHY - "Scary Movie 3," "Dirty Love"), Charlie's soon-to-be stepsister.

While trying to help Jake get over a breakup, Alan discovers that it was Charlie who stole his high school girlfriend. Alan seeks revenge on Charlie by following the same advice Charlie dispenses to Jake.

Seeing Alan not fully passionate about his relationship, Charlie coaches Alan in the fine art of breaking up with a woman.

Rose (recurring guest star MELANIE LYNSKEY), Charlie's lovable stalker, is back from England and takes strange care of a very sick Charlie.

Alan dates one of his ex-wife's friends who reveals a secret about Judith's sex life. Recurring guest star RYAN STILES appears as Judith's second husband.

Charlie goes with Jake on a double date and sets Alan up with a prostitute. Recurring guest star MELANIE LYNSKEY appears as Rose.

Alan worries that Charlie's womanizing is out of control. JANE LYNCH returns as Charlie's therapist, and EMMANUELLE VAUGIER returns as Charlie's former fiancée, Mia.

Alan plans Evelyn's wedding to Teddy (ROBERT WAGNER), while Charlie pursues his future stepsister and Teddy's devious daughter, Courtney (JENNY McCARTHY).

A CSI team investigates a mysterious death at Charlie's house. George Eads ("CSI: Crime Scene Investigation") makes a cameo appearance.

Charlie finds himself attracted to Angie (recurring guest star SUSAN BLAKELY), an older woman who writes self-help books. Meanwhile, Alan and Jake battle over a school assignment.

Charlie tries to resist temptation when he meets the grown daughter of the woman he's dating (SUSAN BLAKELY) and realizes they've met before. JANE LYNCH guest stars as Dr. Freeman.