Two and a Half Men

2003 • Nine Network
4.1
162 reviews
Eligible
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Season 7 episodes (22)

1 818-jklpuzo
9/21/09
Season-only
On the seventh season premiere, Charlie (series star CHARLIE SHEEN) must decide between his fiancée, Chelsea (recurring guest star JENNIFER TAYLOR), and his old flame, Mia (recurring guest star EMMANUELLE VAUGIER). Rock superstar EDDIE VAN HALEN makes a cameo appearance as himself.
2 Whipped Unto the Third Generation
9/28/09
Season-only
When Charlie's fiancée, Chelsea, convinces him to let Melissa (recurring guest star KELLY STABLES), Alan's girlfriend, move in, the girls take over the house.
3 Mmm, fish. Yum.
10/5/09
Season-only
Alan (series star JON CRYER) plays nursemaid to Judith's baby and her tipsy mother, Lenore (recurring guest star ANNIE POTTS). Meanwhile, Jake (series star ANGUS T. JONES) blackmails Charlie with an incriminating photo.
4 Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
10/12/09
Season-only
Alan takes a job working for Evelyn (series star HOLLAND TAYLOR), and Charlie is forced to mend Chelsea and Jake's rocky relationship.
5 For the Sake of the Child
10/19/09
Season-only
Jake refuses to stay with Charlie and Alan after they embarrass him in public.
6 Give Me Your Thumb
11/2/09
Season-only
Alan recommends that Chelsea get breast reduction surgery and Charlie kicks him out.
7 Untainted by Filth
11/9/09
Season-only
Charlie and Alan wake up together in bed with a strange woman.
8 Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle
11/16/09
Season-only
Chelsea invites her beautiful college roommate (guest star TRICIA HELFER -- Battlestar Galactica) to stay at the house while she gets over a bad breakup.
9 Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
11/23/09
Season-only
Charlie is crushed when he discovers he hasn't been satisfying Chelsea and Alan attempts to cure his thinning hair on the cheap.
10 That's Why They Call It 'Ball Room'
12/7/09
Season-only
Charlie discovers that Chelsea hasn't been completely honest about her finances.
11 Warning, it's Dirty
12/14/09
Season-only
Charlie coaches Jake on the art of infidelity while his girlfriend is away for Christmas. Legendary Television Producer/Writer/Actor CARL REINER guest stars as "Marty Pepper," a famous TV producer whom Evelyn invites to Charlie's for Christmas dinner.
12 Fart jokes, pie and Celeste
1/11/10
Season-only
Jake writes love songs to woo his ex-girlfriend, and Herb and Alan hide their secret friendship from Judith's watchful eye.
13 Yay, no polyps!
1/18/10
Season-only
Charlie endures a colonoscopy to get out of a trip to see Chelsea's bigoted parents (guest stars STACY KEACH and MEAGEN FAY), only to return home and find them in his living room.
14 Crude and Uncalled For
2/1/10
Season-only
Alan ends up in jail after a bar fight, and Charlie worries that Chelsea might be interested in the lawyer who takes the case (STEVEN ECKHOLDT).
15 Aye, aye, Captain Douche
2/8/10
Season-only
Charlie's jealousy threatens his relationship with Chelsea.
16 Tinkle Like a Princess
3/1/10
Season-only
Charlie runs off to Vegas and returns with a new wife...but she's not Chelsea! STACY KEACH returns as Chelsea's father and JOHN AMOS guest stars as his boyfriend.
17 I Found Your Moustache
3/8/10
Season-only
Charlie and Chelsea have a post-breakup one-night stand. STACY KEACH returns as Chelsea's father and JOHN AMOS guest stars as his boyfriend.
18 Ixnay on the Oggie Day
3/22/10
Season-only
Charlie has a return engagement with Chelsea's best friend, while Alan has an unexpected effect on a new female patient. TRICIA HELFER returns as Chelsea's best friend and FRANCES FISHER guest stars as Alan's patient.
19 Keith Moon is Vomiting in His Grave
4/12/10
Season-only
Jake's new friend, Eldridge (guest star GRAHAM PATRICK MARTIN), is a bad influence but Alan really likes his hot mom, Lyndsay (guest star COURTNEY THORNE-SMITH).
20 I Called Him Magoo
5/10/10
Season-only
Alan tries for an intimate night at a hotel with his new girlfriend (COURTNEY THORNE-SMITH), while Charlie takes a different approach to obtain the "girlfriend experience."
21 Gumby with a Pokey
5/17/10
Season-only
Alan and Jake go on a road trip while Charlie is visited by the ghosts of girlfriends past -- including guest stars KATHERINE LANASA, MING NA, EMMANUELLE VAUGIER, RACHEL CANNON, AJA EVANS, MAGDALENA HOLLAND, REBECCA MCFARLAND, KATY MIXON, JODI LYN O'KEEFE, MISSI PYLE AND RENA SOFER. ZZ TOP also makes a special appearance as themselves, while MARTIN MULL returns as Charlie's pharmacist Russell.
22 This is Not 22 Gonna End Well
5/24/10
Season-only
After Charlie's license is suspended, Jake becomes Charlie's driver. And much to Charlie's chagrin, Alan makes plans to attend Chelsea's birthday party on the seventh season finale. STACY KEACH and JOHN AMOS return as Chelsea's father and his boyfriend.

About this show

Charlie Sheen and Jon Cryer star in this Emmy®-nominated comedy. Sheen plays a Malibu bachelor with an easy way with women. His casual lifestyle is interrupted when his uptight brother (Cryer) and his son stay with him. Despite the complexities of their lives, this unusual family unit promises to make each one of them a better man.

Ratings and reviews

4.1
162 reviews
Aaron Thompson
March 6, 2014
A show which will make you laugh out loud now and again, but is worth checking out for the characters if anything. Still good to just have on in the background.
Sav Freeman
October 21, 2017
I don't think they could've dragged this on for another season. Season 12 has it's moments, but is the weakest of the 4 post Charlie Sheen.
A Google user
February 26, 2016
The first 8 seasons were fantastic until Ashton Kutcher ruined the show with his unfunny antics. Watching Jake as a young kid is so funny, and the chemistry between Charlie Sheen and Jon Cryer is brilliant.