Boring Speedometer

Sivento s.r.o.

About this app

Boring Speedometer? Boring like a Tesla.

This isn't another boring speedometer with a boring needle. This is a buddy in your pocket who comments on how you drive.

🚗 WHAT IT DOES
Shows your speed. Big neon numbers. The end.

Well... almost the end. Below the numbers you get quips that change every two-three seconds depending on how fast you're going. At 50 it tells you you're doing it right. At 130 it gives you a nod. At 160 it starts getting nervous. At 200 it just goes silent — what's even left to say?

💬 QUIPS ARE THE HEART OF THE APP
Hundreds of one-liners for every speed range. Friendly, a bit cheeky, sometimes absurd. No lectures, no "drive safely young man". More like "even a snail just overtook you" when you've been sitting at that red light too long.

Quips never repeat back-to-back. Speed up or slow down and you get a fresh one. And every speed has its own vibe — one tone at 50, another at 100, another at 180 (where the vibe starts to crack a little).

🎨 A DESIGN THAT GETS OUT OF THE WAY
Dark futuristic UI. Neon. Silence. Nothing blinks for no reason, nothing jumps in your face. The speedometer smoothly shifts color as you go — from cool tones to hot. At 130 you start seeing yellow. At 170 red. At 200... well, you won't really notice anyway.

🚶 MODES FOR EVERY KIND OF MOVING
Not just driving. Boring Speedometer handles:
- 🚗 Car (0–200 km/h)
- 🚴 Bike (0–60 km/h)
- 🚶 Walking (0–20 km/h)
- 🚆 Train (0–200 km/h)

Each mode has its own quips. On a bike nobody's going to tell you "Fast & Furious is calling". On a train nobody's going to mention your insurance premium.

⚡ WHAT YOU WON'T FIND HERE
- No ads in the middle of your drive
- No premium subscription to unlock a color
- No "share to Facebook" buttons
- No 17-screen tutorial on first launch
- No notifications like "Hey! Haven't seen you in a while!"

You open it. You drive. The app talks back. The end.

🌍 LANGUAGES
English, Czech, and 10 more. The quips aren't Google-translated — every language has its own pool written with a feel for local humor.

📍 GPS & PRIVACY
Speed is calculated from GPS right on your phone. We don't store anything, we don't send anything to a server, we don't sell your data to anyone. Where you drive stays with you.

⚙️ SETTINGS
- km/h vs mph toggle
- Mode selector (car / bike / walking / train)
- Language picker
- Stats (top speed, distance covered) — stored locally

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Boring Speedometer. Probably the most boring name for probably the least boring speedometer on the Play Store.

Download. Drive. Get talked at.