Corporate Burn Rate

CorpBurnRate Labs

In-app purchases

About this app

Corporate Burn Rate: Meeting Survival Tool

Is your career being slowly liquidated by "quick syncs" that last three hours? Welcome to the resistance.

Corporate Burn Rate is the premier satirical utility for the modern corporate professional. It doesn't just track the literal dollar value your company is wasting on useless meetings—it gives you the tools to survive them while looking like a top performer.

PRECISION FINANCIAL CARNAGE
Watch the "Burn Rate" ticker calculate the cost of every "deep dive" as it happens.

Flexible Math Logic: Track by individual rate (Per Person) or lock in a combined hourly cost (Total Team).

Persistence: Your headcount and rates stay locked between sessions—no resetting required for the next meeting.

STEALTH PROTOCOLS
Use our advanced disguises when a manager walks by. Your screen instantly transforms into a "boring" Spreadsheet or Linux Terminal.

Double Tap Exit: A quick double-tap anywhere on the screen returns you to the dashboard instantly.

Pro Disguises: CEO Mode unlocks VS Code, Kanban Boards, and "Fake System Update" screens.

HIGH-STAKES GAMES VS. MINDLESS FIDGETS
We provide two levels of distraction depending on how much "focus" you need to fake:

Interactive Games (Skill-Based): Engage in full-screen challenges like Cell Snake and ASCII Pong. These require skill and provide a scoring system to track your "productivity."

Sensory Fidgets (Mindless Relief): Perfect for keeping your hands busy under the table with zero pressure. Balance budgets or scrub terminal logs in theme-specific mini-tasks.

THE CHAOS ENGINE
Need a reason to bail? Use the Excuse Generator to create perfectly plausible, technical reasons to "drop and investigate a critical event."

CORPORATE BINGO
Transform buzzword-heavy presentations into a game. Mark off jargon like "Pivot," "Synergy," and "Low Hanging Fruit."

PROMOTED TO CEO MODE (PREMIUM)
Standard employees track the burn; CEOs control it. Upgrade to unlock:

The Full Arsenal: Access all 8 Premium Visual Themes (Hacker, Vaporwave, Blueprint, SCADA, etc.) and the complete suite of 8 Executive Fidgets and 8 High-Stakes Games.

Exclusive Access: Unlock high-velocity games like Stack Crash, Hostile Takeover, and Synergy Valve.

Payroll Wizard: Build your meeting roster by role (Interns, Devs, VPs) to calculate the weighted average automatically. Save your favorite team configurations for instant loading.

Advanced History: Retention for up to 500 meetings with total waste metrics (Free users see the last 3).

Custom Bingo: Go into Settings to edit the dictionary and add your boss’s specific favorite catchphrases.

Themed Chaos: Unlock infinite excuses and industry-specific jargon pools (NetOps, DevOps, PM, Gov) for maximum believability.

Stop being a passive observer of your own career. Start tracking the burn.

Disclaimer: This app is for satirical and entertainment purposes only. Please "circle back" responsibly.

What’s new

Initial Production Release!
Added real-time meeting cost tracking.
Deployed 'Stealth Disguise' mode (Terminal & Excel) so you can look busy.
Patched a vulnerability where you actually had to pay attention in CAB reviews.
CEO Mode is now live!

1.2.3 - Pong game fixes for Motorola and added link to Corporate Jargon Dictionary.