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This book describes maturity in understandable and practical terms.
The research for this book uncovered a myriad of different ways of approaching the same basic answer for the secret of maturity: Maturity is responsibility. Most of the answers to "What is maturity?" come from either psychology or philosophy. The answers are listed or briefly described throughout the text, but it is your job to decide what to do with all the answers. So be responsible for how you assimilate the answers and put them into practice.
Quite a few of the paragraphs in this book summarize concepts that are expounded in entire volumes elsewhere. Since this book is so condensed, it will be most effective after it has been read and studied many times.
Might we suggest that you first pursue those concepts that strike you as personally relevant? That will do you the most good today, because those concepts will be emotionally valuable to you. Read the suggested references to those concepts, and locate other related works at the library or through Internet searches.
If you learn and apply the lessons contained in this book, then the results are guaranteed.
Choose to Discover this eBook to Learn—How To Have a Super AttitudeHow To Choose Your AttitudeHow To Regain Your Attitude Power
Choose to Discover this eBook to Learn—How To End EgoHow To Find Your Authentic SelfHow To Free Your Mind and Heart
This book is the first of its kind in the world.
Choose to Discover this eBook to Learn—How To Save the Method of Carl RogersHow To Use the Rogerian MethodSave Counseling's Greatest Technique Now!
Method and technique are not to be confused with counseling theory. A counseling theory is a set of guiding principles that structure the course of counseling. A method or technique is a strategy for eliciting a response from a client. Counseling theories therefore provide general directions for achieving specific goals, while methods or techniques are specific strategies for promoting a change or curative response from a client.
Carl Rogers gave the counseling world its most effective, efficient, and advanced method. Unfortunately, Rogers feared to face the true nature of his method and buried it under false philosophy and theory that diametrically opposed it. Rogers' betrayal of his method has led to a corruption of his method, causing it to be diluted, at best, and in many cases lost. We must separate the theory of Carl Rogers from the method of Carl Rogers to resurrect and preserve his superior method.
This book will help you discover the true nature of the method. But ultimately, you must work this out for yourself. You must again watch the videos of Rogers at work. You must again analyze his method. You must experiment and test until you are certain, from your own examination, what the nature of the method is. If you wish to debate Rogers' theories, then you are missing the point: The Rogerian Method works wonders and needs to be salvaged and seen for what it is, separate from all theory and philosophy.
Those who continue to banter about philosophies after reading this book are those incapable of performing the method. You can have any theoretical orientation you like and still use the Rogerian Method effectively, as long as you understand the method for what it is. Putting the method into a new context, a new theory of understanding, frees it for future exploration. Once the method is free and alive again, then you can make up any philosophies or theories about it that you want or need. The method will have been saved.
Rogers was a unique genius who provided the counseling world with its best method, and both he and his theory are rightly honored and valued. His theory is simply humanism and self-actualization applied to counseling, something others have done both before and after Rogers. Rogers was an idealist, and most of his expounded ideals are noble and helpful. For instance, Rogers wanted teachers to be facilitators and resource persons for the discovery process, rather than merely a series of audio recordings. Both the method of Rogers and the theory of Rogers are valuable in their own right.
Please re-experience the Rogerian Method in light of this book, and leave the rest to dust. If we could present the method as our own or something new, we would; but that would be a lie. Save counseling's greatest method for future generations. Let us increase the odds that more than just the lucky few can find a counselor proficient in the Rogerian Method.
Choose to Discover this eBook to Learn—How To Regain and Maintain Your Real SelfHow To Recognize the Form and Nature of SelfHow To Recognize the Structure of SelfHow To Recognize the Friends and Enemies of Self
This book provides you with knowledge and directions for rediscovering and being your natural self. You can discover and understand what real self is and what real self is not. You can discover how to focus on states of being that promote your authentic self. Read and re-read this book to discover how to recognize and redirect your awareness and identity to your natural child-self. Learn to encourage original self states of being rather than ego states of being. Become aware of how to avoid the blocks and habits that work against awareness of your real self. Know what environments and conditioning inhibit or deny your true self so that you can uproot, switch from, and replace them. Make the right space in your life for authentic self, and authentic self will be revealed for you and rediscovered by you.
Self is not something that can be found, because self is not any thing. If you seek what is not lost, then it becomes lost. If you seek on a false path, then all you find is false. When seeking true self, you do not want to seek something, or you will find something. Self is not a concept, description, idea, image, label, term, thought, type, or personality. Self is not a collection of characteristics, habits, tendencies, or traits. Self is a living reality that can only be experienced. Self is not composed of thinking; therefore, self cannot be found with thinking, cannot be found as thinking, and can never be known with thinking.
You must learn what to seek before you begin seeking or your seeking will mislead you. You will find what you seek. "Seek and ye shall find," says Matthew 7:7. Therefore, seek your real self by learning about and contacting your real self in your daily life. Your real self is with you now. Your real self is neither lost nor dead. Rediscover your authentic self in your experience and emotions. Find your original self in action. Then seek to redirect your attention and identity to your natural self in all that you do.
You want to seek in the right direction or area. You want to seek fish in the ocean, not in the desert. You want to use the right tools. You want to eat an apple with a knife, not a spoon. Use this book for a path and direction back to your self. Use this book for the tools it provides for just being again. Right knowledge and right practice will guide you to re-owning your original nature. Combine right knowledge with right practice and become whole again. You can seek self as self, not as concept, image, tendency, title, trait, or type.
This book boldly presents the beliefs of FitzMaurice regarding self. It is impossible for these beliefs not to include some of FitzMaurice's beliefs regarding God and spirits. You are free to reject, modify, or accept the beliefs presented as you see fit. Likewise, FitzMaurice retains all of his rights for freedom of belief, speech, and expression.
While this book is designed to stand alone, you might find it more easily digested if you first read FitzMaurice's Ego.
Choose to Discover this eBook to Learn—How To Practice Instant YogaHow To Instantly Short-Circuit AngerHow To Relax or Regain Composure in 4 SecondsHow To Do Anything Tapping, EMDR, or EFT Does--Faster, Easier, and Better10 Potential Benefits
You relax easier and faster.You meditate easier and deeper.You feel more balanced in your being.You feel more grounded in your being.You have more peace inside and outside.You have better concentration and more mindfulness.You practice more productive problem-solving and coping.You have more productive stress and less destructive stress.You have more productive emotional and relational attitudes.From practice, the basic exercise will work for you in 4 seconds.
Choose to Discover this eBook to Learn—How To ThinkHow To Use Thinking EffectivelyHow To Think Saner and Better
Insanity is being out of touch with reality. Active insanity is clinging to illusions and delusions. Illusions are misperceptions, misconceptions, and mistakes about reality. Delusions are misperceptions, misconceptions, and mistakes about reality that we have evidence against but cling to anyway.
Albert Ellis, voted the second most influential psychologist of all time by the American Psychological Association (APA), said of the first edition of We're All Insane!, "I found it a most unusual book that makes some excellent points, almost all of which I go along with. It sort ofbrings Alfred Korzybski up-to-date and makes some points which [sic] are not particularly clear in his own writings."
This book helps you to understand how thought becomes a problem when thought replaces reality. You discover enough information and examples to be able to negate thought as reality, which enables you to re-experience "what is". You can live sanely in an insane world. You just have to choose against the common illusions and delusions of your society and your conditioning. All the common illusions and delusions of the world are constructed through the misunderstanding and misuse of thought.
This work is an example of the power of the path of deconstructivism. In contrast to constructivism, deconstructivism frees the heart, soul, and mind to return to their original natures and natural senses. When you clean out the clutter you are burdened with from your constructivistic conditioning, you will find a new "you" and a new world. To be is to be simple. Deconstructivism can help. Eastern philosophy, Existentialism, General Semantics, iconoclasts, and cognitive psychotherapy all make use of deconstructivism to achieve their goals. Be forewarned: If you choose to walk the path of deconstructivism, many will resent your bursting their reality bubbles along the way.
Consistency of meaning depends on consistency of reference. Words have no inherent meaning, but words must refer to some meaning, else they are just noise. When one changes the referents of words, then the meanings of those words change. A change in context can change the referents of words, making the meaning change too. Two identical phrases, sentences, or groups of words might have different meanings due to such a difference in referents. Thus, people often claim or point out conflict in meaning where there is none. Their mistake is in thinking identical or similar word usage must have identical or similar meaning in all situations wherein they appear. They easily forget that dictionaries list more than one meaning for most words.
"Out of sight, out of mind," does not conflict with "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." Why? Because the referents of the first saying are preoccupied with the present and therefore forget the past, while the referents of the second saying are dwelling on the past and therefore miss the past. Both are true in context. They contradict each other only if they are forced to have the same referents, because of some misunderstanding or naiveté.
This book uses the terms "the thing", "the object", "what is", and "the thing itself" when referring to what we perceive when we look outside of ourselves. The object of perception is also known as the percept. What the thing or the object is in actuality is not important to the discussion. However, you may substitute something more concrete, perhaps a tree or a chair, to help you follow the discussions. Please do not confuse "the thing itself" with the thing-in-itself of Immanuel Kant.
Choose to Discover this eBook to Learn—How To Brighten Your Mind and Heart with CBTHow To Practice Self-Help with CBTHow To Practice Guided Self-Help with CBT
Your mind is the soil in which sensations, thoughts, feelings, and attitudes take root.Whatever takes root in your conscious or unconscious mind produces fruit or results. Your conscious mind is the part of your garden you admit having. Your unconscious mind is the part of your garden you hide in darkness, as you do not want the weeds you grow there to be found and shame you.
Be warned, you will get your hands dirty when you garden. You will see unpleasant weeds in your garden. You will get scratched and cut pulling out your weeds. Suffering is unavoidable. Choose to suffer well. Understand that you will suffer from your weeds or suffer from pulling out your weeds. The suffering from your weeds is suffering badly, as it leads to a sicker garden. The suffering from pulling out your weeds is suffering well, as it leads to a healthier garden.
You now have a clear and practical way to improve your life: the garden your mind analogy. By gardening your mind, you will improve your thoughts. By improving your thoughts, you will improve your feelings. By improving your feelings, you will improve your behaviors. And since your thoughts, feelings, and actions are an interconnected system, anytime you improve one you help improve the rest. Synergistically, your mental, emotional, and behavioral health will improve each other, all of which will improve your relationships, peacefulness, focus, and life."
Choose to Discover this eBook to Learn—How To Make Stress Work For YouHow To Increase the Advantages of StressHow To Choose Positive and Productive Stress
In this book, you will learn helpful ways to make stress work for and not against you. You will learn to recognize five different kinds of stress and seven solutions for stress. You willunderstand the difference between productive and destructive stress. You will be given tools to increase your productive stress and to lessen and even eliminate your destructive stress.
For the sake of your happiness, health, resiliency, and prosperity, you will discover:
The advantages and disadvantages of stress.The difference between helpful and hurtful stress (and how to easily tell which is which).How to effectively cope with stress-provoking events.How to easily use your attitude to lower your harmful stress.How stress arises, so you can choose whether or not to have stress.Simple and advanced methods for dealing with stress productively.Effective rules for living that make stress your friend instead of your enemy.In short, you will learn how to save yourself from the emotional and physical damage caused by negative stress. You will learn how to use stress positively, in ways that have been proven to get positive results.
Yes, you can discover how to choose more positive stress and less negative stress. Yes, you too can make stress your best friend. Begin today to switch your personal relationship with stress from relating to stress as a victim to relating to stress as a partner. Make stress your path to success. Share the gift of positive stress with those you love and care about. Teach positive stress at home, school, and work. When you help to make positive stress work for yourself and others, you are part of the solution.
Stress for Success was originally a workshop to help the general public with stress issues. This ebook version of Stress for Success, while greatly expanded from the original, is short enough that you can read and reread this book to persistently practice the principles covered here until the principles become your new and better habits.
To help you remember the principles, the table of contents was designed to work both as a direct reminder and as a mnemonic device for remembering many of the principles. Let us wish you a successful life of stressful contributions and greater resiliency in the face of adversity.
For the philosophically inclined, this book also explores the nature and structure of both balance and power.
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You will discover sayings useful to understanding Eastern thought and General Semantics. The agreement between General Semantics and Eastern philosophy is profound and illuminating, and understanding that agreement will deepen your understanding of both. For instance, the expressions "The description is not the described" and "The thought is not the thing" are found in both Eastern philosophy and General Semantics. Both systems arrive at reality as nonverbal, silent, and beyond comprehension with thought, despite the fact that one system is spiritual and the other is atheistic. That two entirely different approaches arrive at the same ultimate conclusions is exciting and enlightening to truth seekers who honor convergence.
You will find the sayings herein amusing, helpful, interesting, and thought-provoking. Many of the sayings are like Zen koans: If you sit with them, they reveal the "other side", free of words. Many of the sayings are open to multiple interpretations and meanings. New meanings will occur to you on your different journeys through this book.
Some of the sayings share the selfsame insight, phrased differently. Why do this? Such variation helps you see past the simpler surface meanings to reach the deeper felt experiences. A slight change in wording often allows people to drop their minds long enough to hear something fresh. One person's "That's obvious" is another person's "Aha!" moment.
Let the sayings pass that don't open to you now. Focus on the sayings that bring stillness, and you will get results. Listen beyond the words. Rather than think the sayings through, feel them through. Sense the music behind the words rather than think about their meanings. Manage to touch the energy behind the words, and your heart will be touched. Find what you will. Take what you want, and leave the rest to leaven.
Pithy sayings can be either personally meaningless or instantly helpful. Often the best results come from sayings or aphorisms after they have grown slowly in the garden of your mind. In time, ideas you initially reject can grow to have more meaning. Aphorisms that make no sense today can suddenly reveal themselves to you years later. Some sayings can follow and teach you for a lifetime. For example, "Drink from your own well" has taught FitzMaurice again and again for decades.
Making yourself contemplate a saying you do not understand can reveal much about your thinking styles. Is the coldness coming from the saying or your own lack of openness? The best approach is to feel your way to the inside meat of a saying.
This book uses the word change both in the psychological sense and in the layman's sense. Change is considered an impossibility for psychological entities, like thoughts, feelings, and sensations. However, sometimes this book recommends change or describes how to change, using change in the layman's sense: change being the transformation into something else (which is wrong for psychological usage) or being a switching to something else (which is right for psychological usage). You do not change your dog into a cat. You can change from having a dog to having a cat.