Marley, a lovable Labrador retriever, is always getting himself into trouble. Some may say he is the world's worst dog. But those who know and love Marley understand that nothing can stop his loyalty, exuberance, and passion—not even the Grogans' screen door! How this big, rambunctious dog becomes the heart of the Grogan family is the story of Marley.
But Addie's mom has an all-or-nothing approach to life: a food fiesta or an empty pantry, jubilation or gloom, her way or no way.
All or nothing never adds up to normal.
All or nothing can't bring you all to home, which is exactly where Addie longs to be, with her half sisters, every day.
In spite of life's twists and turns, Addie remains optimistic. Someday, maybe, she'll find normal.
Leslie Connor has created an inspiring novel about one girl's giant spirit. waiting for normal is a heartwarming gem.
It's 1966, and twelve-year-old Ji-li Jiang has everything a girl could want: brains, popularity, and a bright future in Communist China. But it's also the year that China's leader, Mao Ze-dong, launches the Cultural Revolution—and Ji-li's world begins to fall apart. Over the next few years, people who were once her friends and neighbors turn on her and her family, forcing them to live in constant terror of arrest. And when Ji-li's father is finally imprisoned, she faces the most difficult dilemma of her life.
Written in an accessible and engaging style, this page-turning autobiography will appeal to readers of all ages, and it includes a detailed glossary and a pronunciation guide.
June's life at home with her stepmother and stepsister is a dark one - and a secret one. Not even her father knows about it. She's trapped like a butterfly in a jar.
But then she meets Blister, a boy in the woods. And in him, June recognises the tiniest glimmer of hope that perhaps she can find a way to fly far, far away. But freedom comes at a price . . .
Paper Butterflies is an unforgettable read, perfect for fans of Lisa Williamson's The Art of Being Normal, Jandy Nelson, Sarah Crossan, Jennifer Niven and Louise O'Neill.
'It broke my heart over and over. Destined to be one of THE most important books this year.' - Melinda Salisbury, author of The Sin Eater's Daughter.
'A gripping and harrowing tale . . . best YA proof I've read this year.' - Charlotte Eyre, The Bookseller.
Lisa Heathfield launched her writing career with Seed, her stunning YA debut about a cult, which was shortlisted for the Waterstones Children's Prize. Before becoming a mum to her three sons, she was a secondary school English teacher and loved inspiring teenagers to read. Paper Butterflies is her beautiful and heart-breaking second novel. Lisa lives in Brighton.
The desert, I remember. The shrieking hyenas, I remember....I remember playing soccer with rocks, and a strange man telling me and my brother Tewolde that we had to go on a trip and Tewolde refusing to go. The man took out a piece of gum and Tewolde happily traded it for his homeland....
So begins the remarkable true story of a young boy's journey from civil war in east Africa to a refugee camp in Sudan, to a childhood on welfare in an affluent American suburb, and eventually to a full-tuition scholarship at Harvard University. Following his father's advice to "treat all people-even the most unsightly beetles-as though they were angels sent from heaven," Mawi overcomes the challenges of language barriers, cultural differences, racial prejudice, and financial disadvantage to build a fulfilling, successful life for himself in his new home.
Of Beetles and Angels is at once a harrowing survival story and a compelling examination of the refugee experience. With hundreds of thousands of copies sold since its initial publication, the unforgettable memoir continues to touch and inspire readers. This special fifteenth anniversary edition features bonus materials, including a new introduction and afterword by the author.
*please note the updated anniversary edition will be released in June. Orders placed before that edition is available will receive the current paperback*
Pram Bellamy is special--she can talk to ghosts. She doesn't have too many friends amongst the living, but that's all right. She has her books, she has her aunts, and she has her best friend, the ghostly Felix.
Then Pram meets Clarence, a boy from school who has also lost a parent and is looking for answers. Together they arrive at the door of the mysterious Lady Savant, who promises to help. But this spiritualist knows the true nature of Pram's power, and what she has planned is more terrifying than any ghost.
New York Times bestselling author Lauren DeStefano is beloved by critics and readers alike, and her middle grade debut is lyrical, evocative and not to be missed.
#1 New York Times bestselling book The 5 Love Languages® has sold over 10 million copies, helping countless relationships thrive. Simply put, it works. But do the five love languages work for teens, for their relationships with parents, siblings, friends, teachers, coaches, and significant others? Yes!
Introducing A Teen’s Guide to the 5 Love Languages, the first-ever edition written just to teens, for teens, and with a teen's world in mind. It guides emerging adults in discovering and understanding their own love languages as well as how to best express love to others.
This highly practical book will help teens answer questions like:What motivates and inspires me?What does it mean to be a caring friend?What communicates love to my family?What is the best way to get along with the opposite sex?
Features include:A straight-forward overview of the 5 love languagesA profile/assessment instrument specifically geared to teensPractical examples/tips for how to apply each language in a teen’s contextGraphics that drive home key concepts
Teens' relationships matter, and these simple ideas will help them thrive.
Poignant, moving, and hopeful, this is an intimate look at the birth of the Civil Rights Movement.
Things are going great for Olivia Abbott and her boyfriend Jackson, except for the huge secret she's been keeping from him ... there are vampires in Franklin Grove and Olivia's twin sister Ivy is one!
Olivia knows she must tell Jackson the truth, but the vampire officials say that Jackson must pass three trials if he is going to be trusted with the secret. And, as Olivia knows, these tests are not easy ... they are bloodcurlingly difficult! Will Jackson prove himself worthy or is this the final nail in the coffin?
And speaking of secrets, Ivy is developing a strange new power ... the inhabitants of Franklin Grove had better watch out!
These kinds of situations only happen in My Sister the Vampire.
A vampire book for girls who want to read about young love and innocent paranormal romance. Ideal for fans of Jacqueline Wilson, Meg Cabot, and Zoe (Zoella) Sugg.
Have you collected all of ‘My Sister the Vampire’?
Date with Destiny
Secrets and Spies
Fangs for the Memories
Look out for Sienna Mercer’s other great series, ‘My Brother the Werewolf’.
Sienna Mercer grew up in Toronto, Canada. She was an only child, and always wanted a brother or sister – especially a twin. A twin would have been awesome! Sadly, she never got that sister so, when she was grown up, she did the next best thing - she wrote stories for girls about a girl who reminded her of herself, and gave her the most fun, fabulous twin she could imagine . . . a vampire twin.
With his trademark childlike art, Todd Parr celebrates fathers and all the different varieties they come in. Whether daddies work far away or at home, or have a lot of hair or just a little hair, "All daddies love to hug and kiss you" and "All daddies want you to be who you are." Parr's messages are funny and reassuring, making this the perfect book for celebrating daddies on Father's Day and every day.
Sent to a real school for the first time, Prue struggles to fit in. The only person she can talk to is her kindly, young - and handsome - art teacher, Rax. They quickly bond, and Prue feels more and more drawn to him. As her feelings grow stronger, she begins to realise that he might feel the same way about her. But nothing could ever happen between them - could it?
Webster’s American Dictionary is the second most popular book ever printed in English. But who was that Webster? Noah Webster (1758–1843) was a bookish Connecticut farm boy who became obsessed with uniting America through language. He spent twenty years writing two thousand pages to accomplish that, and the first 100 percent American dictionary was published in 1828 when he was seventy years old. This clever, hilariously illustrated account shines a light on early American history and the life of a man who could not rest until he’d achieved his dream. An illustrated chronology of Webster’s life makes this a picture perfect bi-og-ra-phy [noun: a written history of a person's life].
Imagine learning from a nosy classmate that your mother is having yet another baby. To Ralph's classmates, news of one more Fletcher baby is just "scuttlebutt." But for Ralph, the oldest of nine, being part of a large family means more kids to join in the fun—from making tripods in the woods and "snicking" up the rug, to raising chicks and even discovering a meteor (well, maybe). It doesn't feel like there's life beyond Marshfield, Massachusetts. Then one day Dad's new job moves the family to Chicago, and there's so much Ralph has to leave behind. In this humorous and captivating memoir, Ralph Fletcher traces the roots of his storytelling.
Michael “Misha” Gruenbaum enjoyed a carefree childhood playing games and taking walks through Prague with his beloved father. All of that changed forever when the Nazis invaded Prague. The Gruenbaum family was forced to move into the Jewish Ghetto in Prague. Then, after a devastating loss, Michael, his mother and sister were deported to the Terezin concentration camp.
At Terezin, Misha roomed with forty other boys who became like brothers to him. Life in Terezin was a bizarre, surreal balance—some days were filled with friendship and soccer matches, while others brought mortal terror as the boys waited to hear the names on each new list of who was being sent “to the East.”
Those trains were going to Auschwitz. When the day came that his family’s name appeared on a transport list, their survival called for a miracle—one that tied Michael’s fate to a carefully sewn teddy bear, and to his mother’s unshakeable determination to keep her children safe.
Collaborating with acclaimed author Todd Hasak-Lowy, Michael Gruenbaum shares his inspiring story of hope in an unforgettable memoir that recreates his experiences with stunning immediacy. Michael’s story, and the many original documents and photos included alongside it, offer an essential contribution to Holocaust literature.
Zeba Khan is like any other sixteen-year-old girl: enjoying herself, waiting for exam results . . . and dreaming of the day she'll meet her one true love.
Except her parents have other plans.
In Pakistan for the summer, Zeba's world is shattered. Her future is threatened by an unthinkable - and forced - duty to protect her father's honour.
But does she hold the secrets that will help her escape?
** Sufiya Ahmed's stunning debut teenage book explores the illegal practice of forced marriage in Britain.
** 10 million under 18s in the world become child brides every year.
** The UK government's Forced Marriage Unit (FMU) receives over 1,700 calls from at-risk annually. Up to 15% of victims of forced marriage are male.
I had a really good time writing this book. All of the topics are the little things I've discussed with my own kids when dealing with issues. I'm no doctor, psychiatrist, counselor, or self-help guru. I'm just a dad who wants to share what I've learned. I've personally lived life on both sides of the spectrum. In what seems like a different lifetime, I've been down and out, miserable, depressed, financially broke, spiritually bankrupt, and struggled with addictions. I spent well over a decade of my life wondering if my suffering would ever end. Things are much different today and have been for quite some time. Coming to understand many of the ideas in this book was key for the shift that took place in my own life.
There is little doubt in my mind that if a kid can master a majority of the ideas talked about in this book; they'll be on their way to living the fruitful and satisfying life we all desire. This was my motivation behind this writing.
Now Mum's expecting yet another baby, and she's convinced this one's a boy. She insists they move to a bigger place - but it's rough, dilapidated and filthy, and before they've even unpacked, Mum's gone into labour! Can the Diamond girls pull together in time for her to come home? And will anyone spot Mum's little secret but Dixie?
Life isn’t perfect, and things don’t always go as planned. Like when you try to feed yourself and the food ends up all over your clothes. Or when you try to ride a bike and end up taking an epic spill. Or when you try to go potty and end up in the potty!
But laughing at ourselves makes it all a little easier, and a whole lot more entertaining. So go ahead and embrace all of life’s awkward moments. Because nobody’s perfect…but everyone’s awkward.
From the Hardcover edition.
Fresh from her success in the production of Spotlight! The Musical, Ruby and her closest friends are heading off to Hollywood to audition for parts in the film version of the show.
After Ruby’s last experience in Tinseltown, she’s scared inside but totally ready to take on the biz and all that entails. What she doesn’t anticipate are the dramas that begin to unfold closer to home...
Then Payton's guidance counselor tells her she needs a focus object--something to concentrate her emotions on while she deals with her dad's multiple scleorsis. The object is supposed to be inanimate, but Payton chooses Sean Griswold's head. It's much cuter than the atom models or anything else she stares at! As Payton starts stalking--er, focusing on--Sean's big blond head, her research quickly grows into something a little less scientific and a lot more crush-like. And once she really gets inside his head, Payton also lets Sean into her guarded heart. But obsessing over Sean won't fix Payton's fear of her dad's illness. For that, she'll have to focus on herself.
Jess's beloved grandfather has just had a serious heart attack, but he insists that the family travel as planned to his boyhood home on the river so that he can finish his painting, River Boy. As Jess helps her ailing grandpa with his work, she becomes entranced by the scene he is painting. Then she becomes aware of a strange presence in the river -- a boy who asks for her help and issues a challenge that will stretch her swimming talents to their very limit. Jess knows that Grandpa and the river boy are connected, but how? Can she take up the river boy's challenge before it's too late for Grandpa?
Tim Bowler's gripping narrative flows like a river itself -- gentle and calm at times, turbulent and deep at others, always fluid, always alive. Readers will be swept along by the magic of the river and the mysterious river boy -- and changed forever by Jess's unforgettable journey.
Another installment in Tucker Max’s series of stories about his drunken debauchery and ridiculous antics. What began as a simple sentence on an obscure website, “My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole,” and developed into two infamously genre-defining books, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell and Assholes Finish First, ends here.
But as you should expect from Tucker by now, he is going out with a bang—literally and figuratively. In this book, you’ll learn:
* How to live and work in Cancun, while still enrolled in Law School
* Why Halloween is really awesome
* How to subtly torture a highstrung roommate until he explodes with furious anger over a misplaced condiment
* What really happened when a dirty pageant girl tried to sue Tucker because he told the truth
* Why you should never accept a homemade treat from a hippie with a van
As we’ve come to learn from Tucker, assholes do finish first...but everything comes with a price.
These and other important questions are answered in this handy guide to eating without grossing people out. Pretty much everything you need to know to get you through any meal is here—from table settings, to eating tricky foods, to holding up your end of a dinner conversation.
Written by two codirectors of The Emily Post Institute, the most trusted name in etiquette, Emily Post's Table Manners for Kids isn't just for fancy parties and dinner at your grandmother's house. It's got basic information you can use every day to improve your social life.
Not since the Three Bears has there been a children's story about the family of three or the only child. This book captures the spirit and love of the family of three and invites other family numbers to participate. The book is interactive and asks children to draw pictures representing their own family unit on the blank pages. This makes the book more than just a storybook but a pictorial journal of the child's personal family experience. Inspired by her own family of three, Vivian Cameron-Gallo sets out to take the "only child" out of the isolation that generalizes and labels the only child. The single child does not stand alone but stands as an important part of a larger unit, a family. This interactive story is about families and the things they do together. The illustrations by Christina Simcic have captured the love of many different families. "We're Three" let's you know that your place in the world is special!
REVIEWS: Rating: Five Stars: "There are all kinds of families in this great big world. Some are big with lots of kids… and some are small, with not too many or simply none at all." Did you know that the single-child family is the fastest growing type of American family? Yet, when author Vivian Cameron-Gallo, the mother of an "only child," sought a children's book that represented her daughter Ava, she found only a few and those had a melancholy tone with negative stereotypes. Therefore, inspired by her own family of three, she wrote this endearing little book to make the single child feel "normal" and part of something bigger – a family. The gentle, flowing verse makes for easy reading, and the colorful drawings by Christina Simcic add visual beauty to the text. I think that We're Three is a very beneficial and useful book, and it has my hearty endorsement. --Wayne Walker, STORIES FOR CHILDREN MAGAZINE
Ruby's mum is now going out with Hollywood superstar Jeremy Fort! And when he invites her and Ruby to stay at his mansion over Christmas, Ruby is over the moon. This could be the chance of a lifetime for her acting career. Could her dreams come true in Hollywood?
Winner of the Mildred L. Batchelder Award
An ALA Notable Book
An NCSS-CBC Notable Children's Trade Book in the Field of Social Studies
Written with the goal of being the most fun you've ever had reading a book, TOTAL FRAT MOVE pulls back the curtain on this world of hard-partying American decadence. The stories are unabashed. They are hilarious. And they are going to blow you away.
You're welcome, world.
--from the Introduction
Actual reader feedback:
"I am completely baffled as to how you can congratulate yourself for being a womanizer and a raging drunk, or think anyone cares about an idiot like you. Do you really think that exploiting the insecurities of others while getting wasted is a legitimate thing to offer?"
"Thank you, thank you, thank you--for sharing with us your wonderful tales of drunken revelry, for teaching me what it means to be a man, for just existing so I know that there is another option; I too can say 'screw the system' and be myself and have fun. My life truly began when I finished reading your stories. Now, when faced with a quandary about what course of action I should take, I just ask myself, 'What Would Tucker Do?'--and I do it, and I am a better man for it."
"I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don't believe in God anymore. No just God would allow someone like you to exist."
"I'll stay with God as my lord, but you are my savior. I just finished reading your brilliant stories, and I laughed so hard I almost vomited. I want to bring that kind of joy to people. You're an artist of the highest order and a true humanitarian to boot. I'm in both shock and awe at how much I want to be you."
"You are the coolest person I can even imagine existing. If you slept with my girlfriend, it'd make me love her more."
For someone who made a career out of over-sharing on the Internet, Tyler has a shocking number of personal mishaps and shenanigans to reveal in his first book: experiencing a legitimate rage blackout in a Cheesecake Factory; negotiating a tense standoff with a White House official; crashing a car in front of his entire high school, in an Arby’s uniform; projectile vomiting while bartering with a grandmother; and so much more. In Binge, Tyler delivers his best untold, hilariously side-splitting moments with the trademark flair that made him a star.
With his trademark childlike art, Todd Parr celebrates all different kinds of mothers. Whether mommies work far away or at home, cook or order pizza, they are all lots of fun and filled with love.
This is the perfect book for celebrating mommies on Mother's Day, and all year round.
3 Day Potty Training is a fun and easy-to-follow guide for potty training even the most stubborn child just 3 days. Not just for pee and poop but for day and night too! Lora’s method is all about training the child to learn their own body signs. If the parent is having to do all the work, then the child isn’t truly trained, but with Lora’s method your child will learn when their body is telling them that they need to use the potty and they will communicate that need to you.
Every time Allie Brosh posts something new on her hugely popular blog Hyperbole and a Half the internet rejoices.
Touching, absurd, and darkly comic, Allie Brosh’s highly anticipated book Hyperbole and a Half showcases her unique voice, leaping wit, and her ability to capture complex emotions with deceptively simple illustrations.
This full-color, beautifully illustrated edition features more than fifty percent new content, with ten never-before-seen essays and one wholly revised and expanded piece as well as classics from the website like, “The God of Cake,” “Dogs Don’t Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving,” and her astonishing, “Adventures in Depression,” and “Depression Part Two,” which have been hailed as some of the most insightful meditations on the disease ever written.
Brosh’s debut marks the launch of a major new American humorist who will surely make even the biggest scrooge or snob laugh. We dare you not to.
FROM THE AUTHOR:
This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative—like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it—but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book:
Stories about things that happened to me
Stories about things that happened to other people because of me
Eight billion dollars*
Stories about dogs
The secret to eternal happiness*
*These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!
In Talking as Fast as I Can, Lauren Graham hits pause for a moment and looks back on her life, sharing laugh-out-loud stories about growing up, starting out as an actress, and, years later, sitting in her trailer on the Parenthood set and asking herself, “Did you, um, make it?” She opens up about the challenges of being single in Hollywood (“Strangers were worried about me; that’s how long I was single!”), the time she was asked to audition her butt for a role, and her experience being a judge on Project Runway (“It’s like I had a fashion-induced blackout”).
In “What It Was Like, Part One,” Graham sits down for an epic Gilmore Girls marathon and reflects on being cast as the fast-talking Lorelai Gilmore. The essay “What It Was Like, Part Two” reveals how it felt to pick up the role again nine years later, and what doing so has meant to her.
Some more things you will learn about Lauren: She once tried to go vegan just to bond with Ellen DeGeneres, she’s aware that meeting guys at awards shows has its pitfalls (“If you’re meeting someone for the first time after three hours of hair, makeup, and styling, you’ve already set the bar too high”), and she’s a card-carrying REI shopper (“My bungee cords now earn points!”).
Including photos and excerpts from the diary Graham kept during the filming of the recent Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life, this book is like a cozy night in, catching up with your best friend, laughing and swapping stories, and—of course—talking as fast as you can.
Bolstered by the love and wisdom of his large, warm family, young Malcolm Little was a natural born leader. But when confronted with intolerance and a series of tragedies, Malcolm’s optimism and faith were threatened. He had to learn how to be strong and how to hold on to his individuality. He had to learn self-reliance.
Together with acclaimed illustrator AG Ford, Ilyasah Shabazz gives us a unique glimpse into the childhood of her father, Malcolm X, with a lyrical story that carries a message that resonates still today—that we must all strive to live to our highest potential.
Over six million social media fans can’t be wrong: Miranda Sings is one of the funniest faces on YouTube. As a bumbling, ironically talentless, self-absorbed personality (a young Gilda Radner, if you will), she offers up a vlog of helpful advice every week on her widely popular YouTube channel. For the first time ever, Miranda is putting her advice to paper in this easy-to-follow guide, illustrated by Miranda herself. In it, you’ll find instructions on everything: how to get a boyfriend (wear all black and carry a fishing net), to dressing for a date (sequins and an orange tutu), to performing magic (“Magic is Lying”), and much, much more! Miranda-isms abound in these self-declared lifesaving pages, and if you don’t like it…well, as Miranda would say…“Haters, back off!”
“These hands are so fast, I can get your wallet before you know it. In a minute, you’ll be standing there buck naked and won’t know what hit you!” “Look here—if it wasn’t for my tripped knee, I’d be playing in the NBA today.” “Hey, Jack!” Any of these sound familiar? If they do—or even if they don’t—you’re in for a good laugh. The brother of patriarch Phil Robertson, Uncle Si has a limitless supply of stories about his childhood, duck hunting adventures, his days in Vietnam, and everything in between. Now the best of those tales are gathered into this roaring book.
And as Uncle Si recounts his outlandish tales, he weaves in an up-close look into his personal life. You’ll learn about his childhood as the youngest son in the Robertson family, his college days, and how he came to use a green Tupperware cup for his ever-present tea.. And in many of these never-before-heard tales, Si openly talks about his wife Christine and two children, Scott and Trasa—who are never seen and rarely mentioned on the show.
Sure to please die-hard fans and curious newbies alike, Si’s one-liners are presented alongside fun, expressive photographs, as well as photos of his family. As you learn about his behind-the-scenes life, this smattering of zany stories will have you falling over with laughter and retelling them to all your friends.
Smoke Gets in Your Eyes tells an unusual coming-of-age story full of bizarre encounters and unforgettable scenes. Caring for dead bodies of every color, shape, and affliction, Caitlin soon becomes an intrepid explorer in the world of the dead. She describes how she swept ashes from the machines (and sometimes onto her clothes) and reveals the strange history of cremation and undertaking, marveling at bizarre and wonderful funeral practices from different cultures.
Her eye-opening, candid, and often hilarious story is like going on a journey with your bravest friend to the cemetery at midnight. She demystifies death, leading us behind the black curtain of her unique profession. And she answers questions you didn’t know you had: Can you catch a disease from a corpse? How many dead bodies can you fit in a Dodge van? What exactly does a flaming skull look like?
Honest and heartfelt, self-deprecating and ironic, Caitlin's engaging style makes this otherwise taboo topic both approachable and engrossing. Now a licensed mortician with an alternative funeral practice, Caitlin argues that our fear of dying warps our culture and society, and she calls for better ways of dealing with death (and our dead).
In real life, Jake is never safe. He lives in constant fear of his mother's violent boyfriend. But in his imaginary tower he can dream up his own father - the stranger who gave him a cuddle and a fluffy duck the day he was born and went away for ever. Jake doesn't believe dreams ever come true. But sometimes they do - in strange and surprising ways.
Shortlisted for the Carnegie Medal, Jake's Tower by Elizabeth Laird is a powerful and moving novel that spotlights the issue of domestic abuse.
“Hell no, you can’t go to the bathroom. You know where you can go? The f**k to sleep.”
Go the Fuck to Sleep is a book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, it captures the familiar—and unspoken—tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night.
Read by a host of celebrities, from Samuel L. Jackson to Jennifer Garner, this subversively funny bestselling storybook will not actually put your kids to sleep, but it will leave you laughing so hard you won’t care.
What do you do after you write a #1 bestselling book about your drunken, sexual misadventures that makes you rich and famous? Celebrate by getting more drunk and having insane amounts of sex, obviously. And pretty soon you’ve got another bestselling book on your hands.
Stuffed full of ridiculous stories of bad decisions, debauchery, and sexual recklessness, Assholes Finish First starts where I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell left off, then proceeds to “some next-level shit.”
You already know how women react to confidence, game, and vodka, but what happens when you add money and fame to the mix? You get answers to the hard questions you've never thought of asking:
• What’s it like to have sex with a midget? What about two midgets?
• What does it do to a man to watch a nineteen-year-old do wind sprints to sober up, so that she can have sex with you before her twin sister does?
• At what number of virgins does deflowering them stop being fun and start feeling like a job?
• When a girl you met three hours ago decides to tattoo your name on her body, what is the appropriate reaction?
The answers are inside, they are absurd and hilarious, and they are the product of one man's experiences:
His name is Tucker Max, and he is still an asshole.
Since the dawn of history man has searched for the answer to the most fundamental of questions: “Why am I here…not banging chicks?” The search is over. Now, with the help of The Playbook, you’ll be able to approach any beautiful woman, discover her innermost passion, and use that to trick her into sleeping with you. You’ll master more than seventy-five seduction techniques, developed by pickup guru and all-around good guy Barney Stinson, guaranteed to turn you into a bona fide ladies’ man. Featuring the famous plays including:
· The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn
· Mrs. Stinsfire
· The Ted Mosby
· The Time Traveler
· The “SNASA”
· The Scuba Diver
· The “He’s Not Coming”
…and other greatest hits from Barney Stinson’s secret Playbook of legendary moves. So suit up and get ready to be schooled in awesomeness.