Despite fierce opposition from his mother, Queen Victoria, Edward VII was always passionately in love with France.
He had affairs with the most famous Parisian actresses, courtesans and can-can dancers. He spoke French more elegantly than English. He was the first ever guest to climb the Eiffel Tower with Gustave Eiffel, in defiance of an official English ban on his visit. He turned his French seduction skills into the diplomatic prowess that sealed the Entente Cordiale.
A quintessentially English king? Pas du tout! Stephen Clarke argues that as 'Dirty Bertie', Edward learned all the essentials in life from the French.
An Englishman, Paul West, goes to Brussels to work for a French MEP. There he gets an insider's view of what really goes on in the massive madhouse that is the EU Parliament. With the referendum on the horizon, things are even more hysterical than usual.
When the Brexit result comes in, Paul has to make a decision. If he wants to work in Europe, should he apply for a French passport?
But can an Englishman really become French?
Can he sing the bloodthirsty 'Marseillaise'?
Can he even pronounce the word 'Marseillaise'?
And as Paul contemplates his own personal Brexit, the whole of Brussels seems to be going into meltdown ...
He's stuck in an apartment so small that he has to cut his baguettes in two to fit them in the kitchen.
His research into authentic French cuisine is about to cause a national strike - and it could be all his fault.
His Parisian business partner is determined to close their tea-room. And thinks that sexually harrassing his female employees is a basic human right.
And Paul's gorgeous ex-girlfriend seems to be stalking him.
Threatened with eviction, unemployment and bankrupcy, Paul realises that his personal merde factor is about to hit the fan...