Conan the Barbarian

2011년 • 112분

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The most legendary Barbarian of all time is back.  Having thrived and evolved for eight consecutive decades in the public imagination- in prose and graphics, on the big screen and small, in games and properties of all kinds- Conan's exploits in the Hyborian Age now come alive like never before in a colossal action-adventure film. A quest that begins as a personal vendetta for the fierce Cimmerian warrior soon turns into an epic battle against hulking rivals, horrific monsters, and impossible odds, as Conan realizes he is the only hope of saving the great nations of Hyboria from an encroaching reign of supernatural evil.

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ASHAMED! Since others here have mentioned the Arnold films I'll touch on his before finally reviewing the pale of dung being discussed today. Best thing about Arnold's 1st: the Atlantean sword! The worst? Milius dared have Conan suck on Black Lotus leaves, SOMETHING THE CIMMERIAN WOULD NEVER DO! As to this new abomination... the lead had all the acting prowess of a WWE wrestler! Visuals felt & dialog sounded 21st century and the inclusion of a former, "Charmed One" made it all the more corny! Grade it an F-

Jason Momoa has the look and fights well, but the storytelling, directing, the script and the editing are flatout terrible. Jason's lines could fit on two sheets of paper. Huge gaps exist in the story and Conan as a kid is more interesting than Conan as an adult. This is no where near as good as the original. Dump the rest of the cast (they all sucked) make a proper film with Momoa, a better director and a better script. 2* because Momoa has the potential to be a great Conan.

Actors sucked. Narration sucked. CGI sucked. 3D made it all suck worse. And finally, the cinema's ban on use of handheld devices prevented me from visiting Ebaumsworld for breaths of fresh air. Narrated by Morgan Freeman, featuring many decorated veterans of great film--how is it possible that such a movie could be so horrible? Razzle Award, for sure. I paid over $14 to see that boy take down those raiders...not sure it was worth it, but it's probably the only scene of value throughout the whole thing.