The Dark Tower

2017 • 94 dakika

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Based on the best-selling book series by highly-acclaimed author Stephen King. The last Gunslinger, Roland (Idris Elba), has been locked in an eternal battle with the Man in Black (Matthew McConaughey), determined to prevent him from toppling the Dark Tower, which holds the universe together. With the fate of the worlds at stake, good and evil will collide in the epic battle as only Roland can defend the Tower from the Man in Black.

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A disappointing mash up of characters and places (very) loosely based on Stephen King's epic series of books with no real story line holding it together. King's work rarely translates well to film owing to the complexity of his characters and his keen ability to touch his readers like no other author can. We can add this movie to the list of failed attempts.

If you enjoyed the books, then don't watch this movie. Really. While perhaps an ok movie on its own, it only borrowed the names from the DT series. Which makes this weird; the actors portrayed the characters accurately from the books, but that is about all that was accurate, the actual storyline from the books pretty much bastardized beyond recognition. Which makes me sad, The Dark Tower is one of my favourite series that I have ever read. I can only hope Netflix, or even better, HBO takes the series on as a project. It's too big for even a Trilogy, best suited to a few solid seasons of TV.

Unbelievably bad. The only way any of this makes sense is if you've read the Dark Tower series, and if you have, it's such a watered-down, pathetic excuse for an adaptation -- or even a re-imagining -- that it's honestly infuriating. I'm not a King fan any more, but this is an incredible waste of both the quality of the source material and the talent of the actors involved. The writers and editors should be ashamed of themselves, and this pile of garbage deserves the 16% it currently has on Rotten Tomatoes.