The Lobster

2016 • 113 minutes

About this movie

Starring Colin Farrell, Rachel Weisz, Olivia Colman, Ashley Jensen, John C. Reilly, Léa Seydoux, Michael Smiley and Ben Whishaw, The Lobster is a darkly funny love story set in a near future where finding love is a matter of life or death... According to the rules of The City, single people are arrested and then transferred to The Hotel. There they are obliged to find a matching mate in 45 days. If they fail, they are transformed into an animal of their choosing and released into The Woods. A desperate Man (Farrell), escapes from The Hotel to The Woods where The Loners live and falls in love, although it is against their rules. Unconventional, original and hilarious, The Lobster is one of the must-see film releases of the year.

Ratings and reviews

Spoiler alert (It'll save you two hours) Some dudes wife leaves him (Colin Farrell) Society doesn't accept him as being single so force him to go to a hotel (don't know where, but looks shit enough to be in ireland in the middle of july). For some reason this hotel gives people 40 odd days to match or be turned into an animal of their choosing. Colin Farrell chooses a Lobster, not a lion or an elephant or a dolphin, a bloody lobster. He is accompanied by a dog, who was formerly his brother. So anyway the hotel does lots of weird demonstrations to show how important having a partner is. In case you choke or get sexually assaulted. Anyone who runs from the hotel is branded a loner. The hotel will give you an extra day for every loner you can tranquilize and bring back from the surrounding woods. They make a sport of it. .I fall asleep and wake up to him trying to gouge his eyes out with a steak knife. I don't want my money back. I want Colin Farrell to come to Belfast and buy me a pint for the two hours of my life he has taken from me. Tell him to bring Russell Crowe and he can get me one for the water diviner.

An unfathomably bad movie with a storyline that's lost at sea. Critics call it the work of flawed genius - which is true - but only in as much as the script is entirely flawed yet the makers attached a stellar cast - which is genius. In essence this is a half baked student art house movie with access to first rate talent. The poster is very telling - presumably it originally featured the stars cuddling sacks of cash to console them their part in this travesty. Even with the sacks of cash airbrushed out their faces say it all.

I think this is the weirdest and worst film I have ever seen. There was no part that caught my attention. I thought it would be about a lobster but obviously not. It's a waste of time and money and boring throughout so I recommend you do not buy it.