Family Guy

Against strict orders from Lois, Peter drinks profusely at his buddy's bachelor party. After showing up at work hung over, Peter gets fired. When he applies for welfare, they accidentally send him a check for $150,000, which leads to a spending binge. When Lois discovers the truth, Peter attempts to return the money to the taxpayers by dumping it from a blimp at the Super Bowl. But when he is arrested, his family must come to the rescue.

While teaching Meg to drive, Peter crashes into a satellite dish and knocks out the city's cable. He goes crazy without television, until Lois suggests he spend more time with his family. This plan backfires when Peter drives the family nuts. Meanwhile, after Lois forces Stewie to eat his broccoli, he attempts to destroy all vegetables by building a weather control device.

Lois is furious with Peter when he allows Meg to attend a party the same day as Stewie's first birthday. Unbeknownst to Meg, she's actually attending a cult meeting and when Peter brings her back home, the cult leader follows. Stewie recognizes the leader as the man who wants to return him to the "ovarian bastille".

When Peter goes to Chris' soccer game, he inadvertently punches a pregnant woman he thought was a man. Restless under house arrest, Peter turns the basement into a bar and Lois ends up stealing the show. Meanwhile, Stewie attempts to create a time machine to avoid teething pain.

When a bubbly new family moves next door, Peter gets annoyed. Lois becomes fast friends with Debbie, Meg tries to pick up on son Kyle and Peter is forced to invite Joe to play on his company baseball team. But when Joe shows up to the game in a wheelchair and wins the crowd's hearts with his slick maneuvers and winning plays, Peter decides he wants to be a hero too.

Chris is booted from the Youth Scouts, so Peter takes the family to the Big Apple to get him reinstated. But when Peter takes a wrong turn, they end up at a Native American Casino where Lois hits the slot machine once too often. Peter must embark on a vision quest to prove he has Native American blood to save the day. Stand-up comedian Bobby Slayton makes a guest voice appearance as Lenny, the pit boss.

Peter persuades Brian to swallow his pride and enter a dog show to win some extra cash. But when they argue over a trick gone bad, Brian decides he's had enough of being a second-class citizen. His struggle to assert his civil rights lands him on death row at the pound, where he discovers every dog has his day.

When Lois' aunt dies and leaves her mansion to the Griffins, Peter is eager to move in and start living large. But when he gets carried away at an auction and bids ten million dollars on a piece of art, he's forced to trade in his new home. When Peter discovers the mansion was a whorehouse and isn't worth a dime, he must pull a fast one to save the day.

When Peter's religious father retires, Peter invites him to live with his family. In an attempt to bond with his dad, Peter gets him a job as a foreman at the toy factory. But when his dad begins to drive everyone crazy with his religious homilies, Peter must make a divine intervention to keep his sanity.

Peter's makes the family cancel their New Year's Eve plans because he's paranoid about the millennium. But when Y2K hits and the world is destroyed, all that remains standing is a Twinkie factory. When the Griffins set out to find the factory, they realize it's the end of the world as they know it.

When mysterious stains appear on the Griffins' carpet, they assume it's Stewie. But when Brian finally confesses that he made the mess, Lois encourages him to seek therapy. In an attempt to end his uncontrollable problem, Brian tours the world in search of himself. But nothing prepares him for what he discovers: he's in love with his best friend's wife.

When Peter and his neighbors win a trophy for building the best float at a local parade, they fight over who gets to keep it. As a compromise, they decide to display the trophy in a place they all can enjoy it. But when it's stolen, everyone becomes a suspect. Meanwhile, in order to afford an expensive purse, Meg gets a job as a waitress and pretends Stewie is her son for sympathy tips.

When Peter winds up in the hospital, he runs up a huge bill. In an effort to get out of paying it, he claims "deceased" on his insurance forms and prompts Death to pay him a visit. But when Death sprains his ankle chasing Peter, he must recover at the Griffin's house. Everyone thinks they're invincible until Death asks Peter to fill in for him until he's back on his feet.

When Lois is appointed artistic director of the Quahog Players, she decides to make her first production "The King And I." This makes Peter feel depressed and uncreative, so Lois asks him to be the producer. But when Peter takes control and goes over Lois' head, the musical takes a turn for the worst.

When Peter gets reprimanded for telling politically incorrect jokes at work, he is forced to attend a woman's retreat for sensitivity training. But when he comes home embracing his newfound feminine side, he drives everyone crazy.

When Peter's favorite show is canceled, he makes Chris pretend he is dying in order to ask the Make-A-Dream-Come-True Foundation to save the show. When the foundation agrees, Peter pretends to miraculously save Chris inadvertently becoming "the miracle curer of Quahog".

When Lois decides to run for the school board, Peter decides to run against her in an effort to gain her respect. But when Peter stops at nothing to win the race, the campaign takes a turn for the worst. After Peter gets elected, his rise to power falls flat and he's forced to resign and, even worse, face his wife.

When Peter runs into an old classmate who owns his an amusement park, he longs for the same fame and fortune. Meanwhile, a high-end gallery owner sees potential in Chris' painting and invites the Griffins to New York.

When Meg decides her family has embarrassed her one too many times, she turns the tables by exposing them on a talk show. The Griffins create such a sensation on the show, the network executives decide to turn their outrageous life into a reality series.

When Stewie misbehaves while visiting his grandparents in Palm Springs, Brian offers to go get him and bring him home. But when Stewie loses their return plane tickets, the two embark on a memorable road trip across country.

When a toad-licking epidemic sweeps Quahog High School, Peter goes undercover as a narc at Meg's school. When Peter becomes the coolest kid in class, Meg sees her chance to have the most popular date at the big dance. But when Peter decides to go with Meg's rival, Connie, she's devastated. When Meg arrives alone at the dance, Peter realizes that being popular isn't all it's cracked up to be.

When Lois enrolls Stewie at a day care center to help him sharpen his social skills, he ends up developing his first crush on a little girl. Meanwhile, Lois begins feeling bored at home so she gets a job as a flight attendant. Peter hates the idea until he discovers there are free plane tickets involved.

When Peter buys a car, it turns out to be a lemon. While drowning his sorrows at a local bar, Peter meets a mobster who helps him out with the car situation. In return, Peter fulfills a favor and takes the mobster's nephew, Paulie, to the movies. When the two hit it off, Lois becomes concerned with their ties to the mob.

When Chris skips gym class because he feels fat and embarrassed, he ends up in detention. Peter tries to convince Chris to get liposuction, but likes the idea so much, he gets it himself. After surgery, Peter looks thinner and everyone treats him better. This sends him back for more plastic surgery until he realizes looks can be deceiving.

When Peter hires a new accountant, he gets such a large tax refund that he decides to build a swimming pool. Disappointed when he learns that city codes forbid pools, Peter decides to fight City Hall. When he discovers that there is no record of his property in the city records, he declares his land a country and makes himself the president.

In order to improve her chances of getting into an Ivy League school, Meg decides to write for the school paper. She submits her first article on the Mayor of Quahog, but Peter secretly replaces her piece with a more exciting article of his own. When his plan backfires, Meg's chances of getting into Brown University are threatened.

In an attempt to win a contest held by a local brewery, Peter and his friends go on a drinking binge to find the winning ticket hidden in a beer bottle. Meanwhile, Lois dreams of having Ling, her piano student, win an upcoming recital. But when Lois works Ling too hard, she drops out of the competition and leaves Lois high and dry.

When Peter and the guys take their sons camping, Peter is disappointed in Chris' bumbling around the campsite and decides to teach him to be a man. Futilely trying to impress Peter, Chris gets a job picking up golf balls but Peter ignores him in favor of Cleveland, Jr., who shows a natural talent for golf.

Searching for meaning in life, Brian decides to devote his time to helping others. Using his keen sense of smell, he gets a job with the local police department and becomes the top-dog -- until his nose gets him into trouble.

In the conclusion of a two-part story line, Brian leaves Quahog for Hollywood in order to write films. When the Griffins visit him in Los Angeles, he desperately takes the first job offered to him in order to impress them -- and finds himself directing a porno. Faced with fame and loneliness in his new field, Brian realizes that every dog needs a home.

Happy-Go-Lucky Toys is purchased by a conglomerate that also owns a major tobacco company. When new management fires his boss, Peter is made President of the company and does such a convincing job of supporting the tobacco industry that the board sends him to Washington DC to give a speech on the benefits of smoking - until everything backfires.

When Quahog is hit by a devastating hurricane, Peter's favorite bar "The Drunken Clam" is destroyed. The owner cannot rebuild the bar so a British man purchases the bar and turns it into a pub where British families start congregating at the pub thereby ruining Peter's old haunt.

When Peter becomes jealous of the Chris' physical assets, he joins a gun club to overcompensate for his small size. But when they go on a hunting trip, it takes brains, not brawn, to save them. Meanwhile, Meg finds herself the target of the "cool" kids' wrath at school.

When Peter skips out on his anniversary date with Lois in order to play golf with his buddies, he is inexplicably struck by lightning and visited by Death. Instead of escorting Peter to the after-life, Death tells Peter that Lois will leave him in the future unless Peter uses his near-death experience to come to a life-changing revelation. In order to help him, Death takes Peter back to the moment that Peter and Lois met and fell in love.

When Fall hits Quahog, the town becomes infested with New Yorkers who come to watch the leaves change colors. As the tension rises, Lois takes her aggression out by practicing Tae-Jitsu, becoming a black-belt and whipping the family into shape.

When Meg applies for an internship at the local television station and gets the job, she is disappointed to find that her news partner is the most reviled nerd in school, Neil. Caught in a life-threatening news situation, Meg laments that she never had a first kiss and agrees to kiss Neil only to find that he taped the whole thing in order to broadcast it across the world. Meanwhile, Stewie learns what a neighborhood bully is and the bully learns not to mess with Stewie.

When Peter's boss dies, the Happy-Go-Lucky Toy Factory is destroyed in order to make way for the Happy-Go-Lucky Terminal Disease Institute. Out of a job, Peter decides to follow his life-long dream of becoming a knight with the traveling Renaissance Fair, but when he is caught in a compromising position with the infamous Black Knight's wench, Maid Madeline, he must defend his family's reputation in an old-fashioned duel.

When Peter decides to become a fisherman, he takes out a large loan to buy a fishing boat and unwittingly gives up everything he owns as collateral. Faced with losing the family home, Peter resorts to desperate measures to get the money and hunts down a famous man-eating fish for the reward money. Meanwhile, Lois and Meg hit the beach for Spring Break.

Peter and Lois are inspired by her pregnant sister Carol to have another baby. Stewie is appalled at the prospect of another sibling and vows to keep Lois and Peter from sleeping together. After various attempts to stop them, Stewie shrinks himself down to a microscopic size and enters Peter's body in hopes of destroying all of his sperm.

When Chris sees a convenience store hold up and identifies the thief in a police line-up, the Griffins are put into the witness protection program and must relocate to a small town in the deep south. While they are there, the townspeople put on a Civil War re-enactment and re-invent history by having the South win -- with laser swords. But when Peter questions the historical truthfulness, the town turns on him and he must fight his own battle.

When Brian joins Lois and Peter on their visit to the Pewterschmidits, his pent-up sexual energy is unleashed on the Pewterschmidit's dog Sea Breeze. After the vet informs them that Sea Breeze is pregnant, Mr. Pewterschmidt refuses to let Brian near her. Brian decides to sue him for custody of the puppies.

When Chris begins to embrace African-American culture, Cleveland takes him to an Irish heritage museum to teach him about his own culture. In a genealogy book, Chris discovers that he has an African-American ancestor. Meanwhile, when the Peterschmidts come to visit, they reveal a secret and bribe Peter to keep it quiet. But after Peter accepts the bribe, he makes a harsh realization.

When Joe loses a thief in a chase, he also loses his self-confidence and pride as a police officer. Peter becomes determined to help Joe and offers to train him for the decathlon at the Olympics for handicapped athletes. Peter spikes Joe's drink with steroids and he goes on to win the gold medal and fame. Meanwhile, Stewie, Meg and Brian fight over a money clip and $26.

The Christmas season gets off to a rocky start for Peter who cannot seem to find the time to rest and watch the Christmas Specials, like the classic "KISS Saves Santa" in which they play themselves defeating Christmas bandits with the screech of the electric guitar. When Peter accidentally gives all of the family presents away, the family has to go the mall for last minute gifts on Christmas Eve, while Brian, who stays home, gets caught in a sticky mess with the Christmas tree and burns Lois' dinner. When the Griffins come home to the mess, nobody is prepared when Lois goes crazy snd loses her Christmas cheer.

When Brian finds the dating scene unbearable, he drowns his loneliness in alcohol and gets arrested for drunk driving. A court judge sentences him to care for a cranky elderly woman who winds up being the love of Brian's life. Meanwhile, Peter grows a beard which becomes a nest for endangered birds.

When Brian auditions for a role at the local theater, Stewie is discovered and enters the Quahog School of Performing Arts. Meanwhile, Peter rescues a man from the ocean only to discover that the man is a nudist.

When Peter meets one of Lois's ex-boyfriends, he goes green with jealousy and antogonizes Lois by going on a date with Jennifer Love Hewitt.

When Stewie and Brian stow away on a flight to Europe, they end up stranded in Saudi Arabia and take up residence at a Comfort Inn. In an attempt to get home, they steal a hot air balloon and pay a visit to Italy and England. Meanwhile, Lois and Peter go to KISS Stock and Peter is mortified when Lois doesn't know any KISS lyrics.

In a special three-story episode, Brian reads viewer mail and tries to answer the questions: What if the Griffins were little?, What if Peter found a Genie lamp? and What if the Griffins had super powers?

The day that Peter buys volcano insurance is the day that Lois becomes fed up with their constant money problems. When Peter wishes for a Jewish "money guy" to help them, Max Weinstein comes to the rescue. After meeting Max, Peter decides Chris could be successful if he converted to Judaism as soon as possible, but the plans for a "quickie" bar mitzvah in Las Vegas are quickly foiled by Lois.

Peter decides to take Lois on a second honeymoon. But when things go awry, they end up posing as a famous actor/director to stay in his fancy hotel suite, where they inadvertently discover a copy of "The Passion of the Christ 2: Crucify This." Peter and Lois attempt to destroy the film and end up in a high-speed chase with two Catholic priests hell-bent on saving the movie.

When Chris' teacher wins the lotto and quits, Brian fills in as the substitute. All's well until Brian is moved to another class where he must teach troubled kids to aim low. Meanwhile, Chris is instantly smitten with his new teacher, Mrs. Lockhart, who promises to be with him if he kills her husband. But when Lois finds the teacher's written instructions in Chris' laundry, she and Stewie conspire together to find answers and teach Chris a lesson.

Peter becomes jealous of his friends' achievements -- Mort bowls a perfect game, Joe gets a guilty Quagmire off on unsavory charges and Quagmire accidentally saves a woman's life -- so he decides to break a Guinness record to achieve something that he will be remembered for after he dies. After accidentally blinding himself, Peter wanders into the Drunken Clam while it's on fire and unknowingly saves Horace from the flames, becoming a local hero.

When Meg asks a cute boy at school on a date and he turns her down, she looks to her family for support. In an effort to cheer her up, Lois takes Meg to the mall, where she gets the ultimate makeover. Meanwhile, Peter tries to start a band with the guys, but it's Meg's new look that has the record producers singing their praises. So the Griffins form a traveling family band that takes them all the way to New York to perform on "Saturday Night Live".

When Peter hears screams coming from Cleveland and Loretta's house, he tries to help but discovers Loretta in a compromising position. Peter identifies the other man as Quagmire and decides to tell Cleveland of his wife's extracurricular activities. But when Loretta walks out on Cleveland he doesn't take it lying down.

At a game night among friends, Lois lets Peter win at Trivial Pursuit, which leads Peter to gloat and think he's a genius. Brian knows the truth and challenges Peter to prove his intelligence by getting an IQ test. But when the test results determine Peter is legally mentally challenged, everyone ends up looking stupid.

When "The Bachelorette" comes to Quahog, they recruit Brian to be a contestant. He signs up for the free martinis and food, but ends up falling in love with the reality starlet, Brooke. Brian wins her heart -- and the final rose -- but when the cameras are turned off, this romance made in TV heaven takes a turn for the worse. Meanwhile, Chris gets a horrible case of acne.

When Peter runs up a tab at the local pharmacy, the only way out of paying the bill is to sell Meg to the owner's son, Neil, who has been stalking her for months. But when Neil starts dating another girl, Meg becomes jealous and goes on the hunt to find a boyfriend of her own. Meanwhile, Stewie goes gaga over his hot new babysitter, Liddane.

When Lois is short on cash and can't pay her grocery store bill, she resorts to stealing. The adrenaline rush from shoplifting sends her on a stealing spree that spirals out of control and leaves her behind bars. Back at home, the family is a mess without Lois, so Peter and the kids decide to break her out of the clinker to get things back to normal.

When the Griffins visit Lois' parents, Lois realizes that her father prevented her from fulfilling her lifelong dream of becoming a model, so she returns to Quahog and hits the catwalk. Lois is an instant hit, but the glamorous world goes to her head and Peter has to step in to get her back on track. Meanwhile, Stewie starts a pyramid scheme business and hires Brian as his assistant.

When Brian attends a PTA meeting, he meets Meg's high school teacher and starts to date her. This new relationship puts a strain on Peter and Brian's friendship, so Peter finds solace in new best friend, James Woods. Meanwhile, "The Da Vinci Code" leaves Stewie unable to sleep.

When Peter and the guys go on a fishing trip, they end up in choppy waters that leave them stranded on a desert island. Months later, the guys are rescued from the island and Peter returns home to discover the new man of the house has a bark that's worse than his bite.

When Chris discovers he'll be hazed as part of a high school ritual, he runs away to South America, where he assimilates to the uncivilized, tribal culture. Meanwhile, Peter is forced to look for a job, but after several failed attempts he decides he's tired of starting at the bottom of the ladder. While Peter visits Chris in the South American jungle, tribal members treat him like a god, but both Peter and Chris learn that they can't run away from their problems forever.

After a controversial mishap occurs during a live broadcast, the FCC begins to censor all of Peter's favorite television shows. Peter retaliates by creating his own TV station -- "PTV" -- which he operates out of the Griffin home. Peter and Brian create some edgy hits for the station, until the FCC shows up and starts to regulate their everyday life.

After writing a story for a local magazine, Brian lands a job with the prestigious New Yorker. However, his college dropout status haunts him so he decides to go back to Brown University to get his degree. As Brian struggles to pass his class, Stewie enjoys the college lifestyle. Meanwhile, Peter and his friends combine forces to help the city (or so they think).

When Stewie intensifies his efforts to kill Lois, she thinks he is acting out and orders Peter to spend more time with him. They begin to do some bonding until a theme park outing ends disastrously. Meanwhile, Chris does some bonding of his own when he develops a friendship with Herbert after breaking his window.

When Lois drags Peter to the doctor for a physical, his diagnosis is clear: he's too fat. This news drives Peter to form the NAAFP, an advocacy group for the advancement of fat people. Meanwhile, Lois discovers her long-lost brother, Patrick, and fights to get him released from an insane asylum. But a string of fat guys go missing soon after, and Peter and the NAAFP ban together to get to the bottom of it.

When Peter's dad visits the Griffins, he tries to impose his religious beliefs on the family. But after a mishap leaves Stewie stuck living in a bubble, Peter searches for a new religion finding faith in his television hero the Fonz. But "Happy Days" are not quite here as the newly established Church of the Fonz struggles to retain its members.

After an accident lands Brian in the hospital, he has a near-death experience that leads him to take a new lease on life. He finds a passion for singing and develops a new nightly gig with Frank Sinatra Jr., but his "live in the moment" lifestyle only goes so far. Meanwhile, Meg's sexuality swings the other way.

At his high school reunion, Peter pretends to be a big-shot millionaire to impress his classmates, but the truth comes out when he meets Tom Brady and loses all self-control. Peter makes a drunken run for the bathroom that impresses Brady and lands Peter a spot on the New England Patriots football team. Life is great for the Griffins until Peter's new high profile goes to his head. Meanwhile, Stewie becomes a sports bookie.

When Peter goes on a television game show and wins a maid for a week, Quagmire becomes smitten with her and ends up popping the question. But when Quagmire's bachelor tendencies resurface, he takes some serious steps to get out of the marriage. Meanwhile, Stewie fights against breast-feeding withdrawals when Lois tries to wean him.

After a pregnancy scare, Peter reluctantly agrees to get a vasectomy. But after the operation, Peter's sex drive becomes nonexistent. When Lois packs on some extra pounds, Peter's interest is renewed and things heat back up in the bedroom until her unhealthy eating habits get the best of her. Meanwhile, Stewie's half-brother and archrival Beltram confronts him and they declare an all-out war for control over the playground.

When Meg lands an internship with Mayor West, Brian argues that he's corrupt. Determined to expose his shady ways, Brian and Stewie go undercover and discover that Meg is in deeper than they thought. Meanwhile, a local talent show brings Peter and Lois back to their folk singing days. Unfortunately, they also revert back to their hippie ways and Chris must stage an intervention.

After reading an erotic novel, Peter decides to write one of his own and gets Carter to publish it. But when Carter gets sued for Peter's book on tape, he loses all his money and is forced to become a middle-class citizen, much to his chagrin. Meanwhile, with the flick of a switch, Chris becomes a genius and competes with Stewie to take over the world.

While visiting the Griffins, Brian's gay cousin Jasper announces he's engaged to his partner and wants to be married in their home. But when Mayor West bans gay marriage in Quahog to cover up an unrelated scandal, Brian becomes a crazed activist and resorts to hostile ways to change the mayor's decision. Meanwhile, Lois questions her view toward gay marriage and Chris joins the extremist "Young Republicans" group to win a girl's heart.

After Joe builds a new home theater system, Peter tries to top it by building a multiplex in his backyard and discovers an Indian burial ground. But when he takes an Indian chief's skull, the house becomes haunted and Stewie pulls a "Carol Anne" and gets sucked into the television. Unfortunately for the Griffins, getting Stewie back from the poltergeist is just the beginning.

When the Griffins get robbed, the family runs into Peter's panic room to escape the trespassers. Now isolated and trapped, Peter insists the family know about their ancestry and narrates a chain of events in world history that explain the Griffin name. Meanwhile, after Meg is chosen to go back into the house, she scares off the robbers in an unexpected way.