Married...With Children

When Bud decides to move out, Peggy's mother arrives to stay. © 1995 ELP Communications. All Rights Reserved.

Al arranges for an aerobics studio to open next to the shoe store. © 1995 ELP Communications. All Rights Reserved.

When Kelly is shaken by the death of the family's dog, Buck, Al reluctantly agrees to let her have another pet. But what he didn't anticipate was that Peggy, Bud, Marcy and Jefferson would return from the pet store with an exotic $1,000 cockatoo. Yet, told that he can return the bird if it doesn't work out, Al agrees to give Tweety a chance. Any opportunity for Al to return the bird is dashed when Tweety escapes his cage and is eaten by Peggy's hungry mom. To console the distraught Kelly, Marcy offers to hold a seance to contact the family's recently departed dog. And with the aid of Father Guido Sarducci, the Bundys and the D'Arcys prepare to contact Buck. Meanwhile, during a trial to determine his fate in the afterlife, Buck is none too happy to find that his judge is a wizened old cat. When he's exposed as a fraud by Al, Father Sarducci agrees to pretend he's contacted Buck and gives Kelly permission to buy a new, inexpensive, dog. Meanwhile, after Buck is confronted with all his misdeeds on Earth, he's forced to accept the judge's sentence. But what he never expected was to be reincarnated as another dog faced with spending another life...with the Bundys. © 1995 ELP Communications. All Rights Reserved.

Al and his friends turn No Ma'am into a tax-exempt church. © 1995 ELP Communications. All Rights Reserved.

Kelly accidentally invents a baldness cure with some unusual side effects. © 1995 ELP Communications. All Rights Reserved.

Al suffers public scorn when Peggy is declared a hero for taking out a pickpocket. © 1995 ELP Communications. All Rights Reserved.

Al suffers public scorn when Peggy is declared a hero for taking out a pickpocket. © 1995 ELP Communications. All Rights Reserved.

In preparation for their five year high school class reunion, Kelly and her friends spend an afternoon remembering all the boys they mistreated. However, as Ashley recalls how she left Bud stranded without a date to his prom, Mindy admits that she'd like to spend time with Kelly's brother...alone! Recounting how she left Eric Waters waiting for her, in freezing weather, atop a Chicago skyscraper, Kelly wonders if she and her friends can still attract boys like they used to. And when she and Ashley try out their old moves, they discover that the charm still works. At the reunion, Kelly and company find that while the former captain of the football team has gone to seed, Eric has not only turned out to be devastatingly handsome, but wealthy, too. So, as Bud agrees to escort Mindy in hopes of meeting some women, Kelly and Ashley resort to desperate measures to attract Eric. But when Bud's sent to help get his attention, he gets an idea, one which will help he and Eric get revenge. After Kelly gets a map of where Eric wants to meet, Ashley is told that he'll be waiting under the bleachers for her. Yet the darkness keeps her from realizing that she's been duped into a secret liaison with Bud. And after finding herself waiting atop the same building where she once left Eric, Kelly realizes she's been had as well. However, Bud discovers his night is not yet over when he's dragged beneath the bleachers by Mindy. © 1995 ELP Communications. All Rights Reserved.

Even after Al fails to keep it a secret, he and Jefferson are off for a three day fishing trip without their wives. When met at the fishing lodge by a pair of buxom Swedish masseuses, they couldn't be happier. But there's a problem when actress Shannon Tweed also arrives at the lodge looking for a cabin, too. Meanwhile, Bud goes to work getting a dog food commercial audition for his newest client, Lucky. Despite having made their reservations a year in advance, their innkeeper insists Al and Jefferson give up their cabin to the famous actress. And while Al hopes she'll intervene on their behalf, Shannon wants them thrown out, too. However, upon discovering that Jefferson inadvertently snapped a photo of Shannon and the innkeeper in a hot tub together, Al is ready for revenge. Meanwhile, after Bud enlists her to teach Lucky some tricks, it's Kelly that the commercial's director wants. Realizing the photo means big money, Al arranges to auction it off to the tabloids. As the bidding begins to heat up, Shannon arrives at the Bundy's door claiming she's come to apologize. But once she seduces Al into destroying the photo, she reveals it was simply a ruse to get rid of the incriminating picture -- one that Jefferson just sold for $25,000! Finally, with the aid of a dog costume, Kelly makes her debut as the Hungry Puppy. © 1995 ELP Communications. All Rights Reserved.

The Kyoto National bank has announced it's buying a new football scoreboard for Polk High School. And while Al is right about plans to name it after him, the school's greatest football star, there's just one obstacle to realizing his dream. As a member of the bank's nominating committee, Marcy is determined to find another Polk High alumnus for the honor. And when Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Terry Bradshaw is found to have attended the school for two months many years ago, she's able to stymie Al's dream. Determined to see her father's name restored to the scoreboard, Kelly goes to see Terry Bradshaw. Admitting that in his short tenure at Polk he never even donned a football uniform, he's convinced to give Al his due. Unaware of his daughter's efforts, Al enlists Bud and Jefferson in his own vengeful plans to disrupt the dedication ceremony. As the ceremony gets underway, Al and his accomplices stay in touch via a secret communications network. But it's only after issuing the order to destroy the scoreboard that Al hears Terry announce that the scoreboard is actually being named after him. And when he's unable to stop them, Bud and Jefferson unleash a powerful explosion, leaving the school without a new scoreboard and Al without his legacy. © 1995 ELP Communications. All Rights Reserved.

While almost everyone is ready for Peggy's mom to leave, there's only one way to get her husband to take her back. According to the Wanker's strict code, Al must first prove to his manhood to his father-in-law. So, knowing what Ephraim likes to do more than just about anything, Al and Bud agree to take him hunting. Although Al insists that the mean streets of Chicago have made him a match for anything the Wanker County woods have to offer, an unprecedented display of cowardice causes Ephraim to leave him and Bud to fend for themselves. But while Bud accidentally fells a bear and gives Al just the trophy to rid them of Peggy's mom, they don't realize it's only stunned. Meanwhile, Ephraim says he's ready to take his wife back, regardless of the outcome of Al's hunting expedition. As Al helps his in-laws pack, they refuse to believe Bud's claim that the bear is alive. So it's not until Jefferson and Marcy's car is sexually molested by the beast that Ephraim realizes something must be done. Yet, his father-in-law's backwoods skills are no match for Al's street smarts. And seeing Al bring down the bear, Ephraim insists on proving his own manhood before bringing his wife back home. © 1995 ELP Communications. All Rights Reserved.

While Al is sure he's coming to retrieve his wife, Peggy's dad arrives with a buxom young travel agent to announce their upcoming trip around the world together. However, after news that he's already married forces Ephraim to find another companion, Peggy suggests her parents attend a marriage encounter weekend. Meanwhile, Kelly offers Bud a hot date with Fawn if only he'll take care of her own date's younger sister first. And Bud is more than delighted to help once he discovers Esmerelda is a beautiful nymphomaniac. In order to get her parents to Dr. Reichlieu's Love Compound, Peggy convinces Al to take them. However, when Ephraim and his wife are reluctant to stay, Peggy then insists that she and Al join them for the weekend. Meanwhile, though Bud is getting his needs met by Esmerelda, Kelly is unhappy with Carlos and his conservative ways. After being forced to participate in Dr. Reichlieu's relationship improvement exercises, Al challenges the doctor and his patents to try his own remedy for marital harmony. But while the strategy works for some troubled couples, Ephraim ends up taking another patient on his round the world trip. Finally, after Kelly tosses out Carlos for failing to deliver, an already exhausted Bud must still make good on the date he's been promised with Fawn. © 1995 ELP Communications. All Rights Reserved.

With the holidays rapidly approaching, Al has again found his Christmas Club account virtually empty. Yet, unlike past years when she's spent it on herself, Peggy admits she used the money to buy things for her mother. So to remedy the situation, Al insists that either Peggy or her mom get a job. Al's friends aren't having the best holiday season either. While Jefferson is being forced to go to work by his wife, Griff's recent divorce has left him alone for the holidays. In fact, he's so upset that even Al's gift of free phone sex doesn't interest him. But after everyone else calls, even Griff can't resist a chance to speak with their phone sex operator, Butter. However, it's only after Griff falls in love with her that Al returns home to discover that Butter is his mother-in-law. Enjoying the fruits of his mother-in-law's new job, Al decides to keep Butter's identity a secret from his friends. But Griff's insistence on meeting her forces Al to take drastic measures. After Bud and Kelly sneak their grandmother out of the house, Peggy pretends she's Butter and lets Griff down gently. However, even though Griff comes to his senses, it isn't long before he and the others finally discover Butter's true identity. © 1995 ELP Communications. All Rights Reserved.

When Kelly announces her intention to find a new agent, Bud is in danger of being left without any clients. And his sister's complaints do not help him land a gorgeous commercial actress he's been watching on TV. Meanwhile, when Peggy asks for a TV satellite dish, Al hopes to save several hundred dollars by enlisting Jefferson to help him install it. As his father struggles with the rooftop satellite dish, Bud seeks advice on getting Kelly to re-hire him. And Jefferson's suggestion of a sexy exercise video featuring Kelly seems just the ticket to win her back. Yet, when every bank in town turns down his application, Bud is forced to turn to loan shark Vito Capone. Although she's already found another agent, Kelly re-signs with Bud. Arriving at the aerobics studio, Kelly is unaware that Bud has pledged her as collateral to secure the loan from Vito. And if that isn't bad enough, he's also promised a temperamental male the starring role in the video, too. So when Raphael refuses to work until the problem is resolved, Bud is given five minutes by Vito to straighten out the misunderstanding. © 1996 ELP Communications. All Rights Reserved.

Having borrowed money from loan shark Vito Capone, Bud must finish his sexy exercise video in order to pay him back. But with Kelly and Rafael still arguing over who will star, he must first resolve their dispute, or risk becoming part of Vito's black market traffic in human organs. Meanwhile, when Al and Jefferson enlist their pals to help install a satellite dish, Peggy and Marcy invite their wives to wager on who will be the next accident victim. Though Bud is sure he's reconciled the disagreement, the video is again stalled by an argument over music. However, once they settle on playing both their tapes simultaneously, things are back on track. Meanwhile, with their wives thinking they are still working, Al and company have settled in to watch TV in peace. After Bud promises his trio of backup dancers a video of their own, trouble arises when the camera accidentally captures Vito's enforcer Gino discussing a murder. Yet, before he can make good on his threats, the three dancers reveal themselves to be undercover cops as they arrest Gino and his boss. However, as Al soon learns, Bud's involvement isn't about to go unpunished. © 1996 ELP Communications. All Rights Reserved.

Faced with a big sale at Babcock's Shoes, Al is determined to find a way to beat out his twenty year rival at the mall. And when he discovers that owner Floyd Babcock's son, Little Floyd, is in an entrepreneurial studies class with Bud, Al gets an idea. Told they've been assigned to create a product and develop a marketing campaign for it, Al is determined to have Bud's project to be the best in his class. Al's hopes are dashed when he discovers Bud's is project is for a hands-free book page turner. However, Kelly's new calendar featuring scantily clad USC co-eds gives Bud another idea -- a calendar featuring the Women of Trumaine! After advertising for models, Bud rounds up many of the school's women for his photos. As a result, even Floyd has to admit that Bud's project outclasses the revolutionary computer printer created by his son. News that he's secured Crystal Clark, Trumaine's most beautiful co-ed, encourages Floyd and Al to put up the money to distribute Bud's calendar nationwide. However, the plan causes Crystal to have second thoughts about participating, leaving it up to Bud to convince her otherwise. And though certain she'll use an important TV interview to make a marriage proposal in the wake of the calendar's success, Bud finally learns that Crystal has kept one important thing about herself a secret -- she used to be man! © 1996 ELP Communications. All Rights Reserved.

Al and Jefferson judge a beauty contest. © 1996 ELP Communications. All Rights Reserved.

As his "No Ma'am" pals are plotting to save him from a demanding and difficult wife, Jefferson is unaware that it's his wedding anniversary. After being reminded by Marcy, he agrees to have everything ready for a celebration once she returns from work. However, when Al and company come to the rescue, Jefferson agrees to join them at their favorite nude bar, provided he gets back home in time to meet his wife. After a wild day drinking with his friends, Jefferson realizes he's not only going to be late for Marcy's party, but that he forgot to get her a present, too. At the suggestion of a Jiggly Room dancer, he decides to get a tattoo of his wife's name. But he's got a lot of explaining to do after the drunken tattoo artist misspells Marcy on his butt! Leaving Al and his pals to round up the tattoo artist, Jefferson hurries home to stall Marcy until the repairs can be made. Although Marcy's suspicions are raised when she sees him wearing several pairs of pants and refusing to sit, Jefferson is able to cover as Al sobers up Harris. Jefferson then gets his chance when Marcy goes upstairs to the bedroom to continue their anniversary celebration. However, when Marcy finally gets a look at a second spelling error, her angry reaction lands Jefferson in the hospital. © 1996 ELP Communications. All Rights Reserved.

With Marcy and the fraternity guys en route to Florida, Al, Jefferson and Griff are having the time of their lives entertaining the beautiful college girls who have arrived for spring break. Intent on winning the grand prize, Kelly friends help her prepare for the Miss Spring Break Contest. And with car trouble delaying the arrival of Marcy, Bud and company, Al discovers Kelly is in Fort Lauderdale, too. Realizing she could win $100,000 and a new car, Al sets out to insure Kelly will be Miss Spring Break one way or another. Yet, seeing that Jefferson's fraternity brothers can't be relied upon to cheat in her favor, he decides that drastic action is necessary to insure Kelly's victory. So after incapacitating them both, Al and Griff pretend to be Wong and De Angelo and pose as the contest judges. Despite the temptation to vote for another of the contestants, Kelly is crowned Miss Spring Break 1996. However, the fraternity brothers finally get their revenge when Bud, posing as actor Joey Lawrence, announces to the world that Kelly cheated to win. © 1996 ELP Communications. All Rights Reserved.

Marcy wants to make sure nothing will stand in the way of her big promotion at work. So, to prepare for the dinner she and Jefferson are hosting for the Japanese bank's president, she sends Al and his kids to stay in a hotel until after Mr. Shimokawa is gone....at her expense. However, when the Bundys arrive home early after being kicked out of their hotel, Mr. Shimokawa sees Al's broken down 1964 Dodge and insists on adding it to his collection of classic American junk. When Al refuses to sell, Mr. Shimokawa insists that Marcy prove her worthiness for the new job by getting him the car. Despite her taking him to his favorite bar, Al rejects her offer of $3,000 for the car. And though Marcy decides she's had enough of Al and the bar's low life clientele, her retreat is stymied by the arrival of none other than her boss, Mr. Shimokawa. Given no choice but to continue the negotiations, Marcy then agrees to pay $20,000 for the Dodge. But Al wants more and insists on Marcy taking the stage at the club for a strip tease. However, when her act excites Mr. Shimokawa and when joins her on stage, Marcy decides that no job is worth it. Finally, when Marcy's resignation unleashes a riot at the Jiggly Room that not only costs Al his $20,000 windfall, but brings down Mr. Shimokawa and the bank, too. © 1996 ELP Communications. All Rights Reserved.

Following several late night trips outside, Al decides the time has come to build their dog Lucky a house. And though Bud and Kelly agree to pitch in to make it a family project, Al soon finds himself working alone. Meanwhile, Kelly decides to get a makeover to make her more appealing to her wealthy Central American boyfriend, Carlos. Disturbed by the construction noise, Marcy asks that Al keep quiet so she can work. But he's unwilling to stop, and even accepts an offer of help from Carlos. Realizing he has ignored her complaints, Marcy wastes no time notifying the building inspector, who orders Al to tear down the doghouse at once. Although Carlos is happy to give Al more than enough money for a permit, progress on the doghouse is repeatedly set back by the inspector's endless demands. But even after getting Carlos to pay for a foundation and plumbing, Al learns that Marcy has already bribed the inspector so as to guarantee that the doghouse will never get done. So, as Kelly discovers her new peasant look turns Carlos off, Al uses Marcy's luxury car to get rid of some leftover cement. © 1996 ELP Communications. All Rights Reserved.

While he's delivering a package at the Bundy's, Tom finds himself engaging in some sexy distractions with Kelly. However, a message on his pager from his girlfriend Shannon sends him scurrying home. And despite Tom's insistence that he remained faithful in the face of Kelly's temptation, Shannon declares an end to their relationship. Meanwhile, Tom's stepsister and Shannon's roommate, Maria, squares off with their lazy houseguest, Jackson. After consoling her philandering brother, Maria insists that Jackson start paying his share of the rent, and even exiles him and his pet cockatoo Tito from the apartment until he can come with $100. Meanwhile, at a small greasy spoon frequented by Tom, Shannon and their friends, the irascible owner teaches his bumbling new waitress Keiko a hard lesson in life. And upon the heels of Tom's arrival with Kelly, Shannon shows up with her new beau, the attractive, middle-aged and married Henry. As Tom and Shannon do their best to make each other jealous, Jackson arrives desperate for the $100 that will get him back in the apartment. Although he turns down George's offer of a job, he does invite the homeless Keiko move in order to pay his share of the rent. Finally, after a fight reunites Tom and Shannon, Kelly ends up back at home with Henry. © 1996 ELP Communications. All Rights Reserved.

Because he fell asleep after playing "Strip Study" with his girlfriend Ariel, Bud has little time left to prepare for an exam that will determine whether he graduates. But when he sends Ariel home so he can hit the books, Bud finds a crowd outside his room led by Al and Kelly celebrating his first "sleepover date." To insure he graduates, Bud swears off sex so he can study. Yet, too many distractions at home send him to the Trumaine University library. Though delighted with the library's near total absence of attractive women, Bud discovers that a librarian with a crush on him has marked several sexy passages in his class reading. Unaware that Miss Hardaway is watching via a surveillance camera posted in his study room, he proceeds to relieve his ever-increasing sexual tension himself. And placed on probation following Miss Hardaway's report of his extra-curricular activities, Bud faces charges which, if proven, could keep him from graduating. With his father unwilling to help, Bud turns to Marcy to handle his defense at the trial. And it's her skillful defense combined with his claim that Miss Hardaway set him up that gets Bud acquitted with the promise that the records will be sealed to prevent any further embarrassment to the school. However, much to Bud's surprise, he discovers his confidentiality has been breached when he emerges to see Al leading a rally in his support. © 1996 ELP Communications. All Rights Reserved.

With Bud's help, Kelly is chosen to star in a new Romantic Roast coffee commercial. Having moved in with the Bundys after being thrown out by Marcy for not working, Jefferson is forced to accept a job as Kelly's chauffeur in order to get back into his own house. However, when Kelly's co-star in the commercial is suddenly fired, Bud lands the role for Jefferson. Following the success of the commercial, Jefferson finds himself being pursued by women all over town. While Bud tries to capitalize on Jefferson's fame by selling maps to his home, Marcy insists that the exploitation stop. But Al figures out is own way to cash in, too, leaving Marcy the only one unhappy to learn they have signed on for two more commercials. Marcy's concerns about her husband's new-found fame don't faze Al in the least. However, when the new commercial calls for Jefferson and Kelly to kiss, both Marcy and Al agree it's gone far enough. But when it's changed to show them enjoying a cup of coffee after sex, Jefferson objects to the commercials suggestion that he's no good in bed. And unwilling to let some easy money pass him by, Bud tries enlisting Al and Marcy to star as the coffee-drinking couple. © 1996 ELP Communications. All Rights Reserved.

Although his sexist comments have gotten him banned from ever calling the station again, Al is determined to win a sports radio trivia contest's grand prize -- a pair of tickets to the Summer Olympic Games in Atlanta. With Griff agreeing to make the call, Al uses some surplus spy equipment to block every other call to the station except for theirs. And after providing three correct answers to the contest questions, he and Griff are on their way to Atlanta. To keep from being recognized as the brains behind the scam, Al is forced to keep quiet as Griff learns he will also be carrying the Olympic torch as it passes through the mall on its way to Atlanta. Although he first agrees to let Al have the honor, Griff changes his mind after realizing what a celebrity he's become. And when Griff drops him in order to take a beautiful admirer to the Olympics instead, Al is very, very upset. Taking some advice from Bud and Kelly, Al decides to let Griff have his day in the sun. However, seeing Griff being admired by his own sports heroes proves too much for Al. But when he tries to interfere and claim the torch for himself, Al only makes himself a pariah after he accidentally extinguishes the Olympic flame. © 1996 ELP Communications. All Rights Reserved.

When Jefferson's prank to mark Griff's one year anniversary in their club is roundly approved by their fellow "No Ma'am" members, Al challenges him to see who is the real king of the practical joke. While Griff is kept busy by an arrest on trumped up murder charges, Jefferson sends actor Gary Coleman to the Bundys to announce that Al has won $10 million! So, as Kelly erases Griff's pleas for help from the phone answering machine before her dad can hear them, Al super glues Jefferson to his toilet seat. With Griff languishing in jail, a beautiful woman shows up claiming to be an old friend of Peggy's come to take care of Al while his wife is away. Sure it's just another of Jefferson's jokes, Al decides to turn the tables on his rival prankster and arranges to Bud to videotape her anticipated seduction attempt. Yet, what Al doesn't realize is that June really an arch-rival of Peggy's in Chicago to steal him away to avenge Peggy taking her boyfriend many years ago. And taken aback by her unexpected eagerness to have sex, Al decides the only way to expose her as Jefferson's pawn is to ask that she marry him first. Having forgotten about Griff altogether, Al and his friends fail to realize he's been tried and is about to be executed for murders he didn't commit. Then, at the hastily arranged wedding, Al realizes June isn't working for Jefferson. And it's only as he's about to say his vows that he discovers Jefferson's joke is to bring Peggy home in time for the wedding. Finally, following her last minute showdown with June, Peggy saves Al from getting married and insists that he renew their own vows in return. © 1996 ELP Communications. All Rights Reserved.