Saturday Night Live

Monologue: Dane Cook's monologue deals with lying, suicide and car accidents. Cubicle Fight: An SNL Digital Short. Cubicle dwellers fight to the death. (Dane Cook, Bill Hader, Jason Sudeikis). Pacino: Al Pacino (Bill Hader) checks his bank balance. New Update Anchor: Brian Williams was not told that he did not get the Update anchor job and has an awkward moment with Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers. Waterboys: Will Forte and Dane Cook are water bottle distributors who have not been making their deliveries.

Nancy Grace: Nancy Grace (Amy Poehler) grills guests on their part in the Mark Foley internet scandal (Jaime Pressly, Andy Samberg, Kenan Thompson). Around the Town: Kristen Wiig is a local news reporter who is way too interested in the woman she's interviewing (Jaime Pressly) (Jason Sudeikis). New York Minute: An SNL Digital Short. Fred Armisen and Amy Poehler are Martin Scorsese and Rosie Perez reminiscing about old New York. Weekend Update: Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers are the anchors. Guests are Peter O'Toole complaining that Mark Foley gives alcoholics a bad name, and NBC's answer to Ugly Betty, Fugly Betsy (Fred Armisen). Jogger: Andy Samberg is an out of breath jogger from the 80's.

Sketches include a Brit Hume interview with President Bush, JohnÍs musical monologue with Will Ferrell as James Lipton, John as a racist employee at Colonial Williamsburg, a parody of "House of Carters", 2 A-holes meeting a personal trainer and John (in a speedo) teaching Will Forte (also in a speedo) the fundamentals of swimming. Special Report with Brit Hume (Darrell Hammond, Will Forte), Monologue (John C. Reilly, Will Ferrell), Colonial Williamsburg (John C. Reilly, Jason Sudeikis), Swim Instructor (John C. Reilly, Will Forte), A-Holes Workout (John C. Reilly, Jason Sudeikis, Kristen Wiig), Weekend Update (including Kenan as Flavor Flav) (Seth Meyers, Amy Poehler), Crying (John C. Reilly, Maya Rudolph, Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig), Oreo Cookies #1 (John C. Reilly, Andy Samberg), House of Carters Promo (Jason Sudeikis, Andy Samberg, Kenan Thompson), Harpoon Man: An SNL Digital Short (John C. Reilly, Andy Samberg), Oreo Cookies #2 (John C. Reilly, Kenan Thompson), Bearshark (John C. Reilly, Maya Rudolph, Jason Sudeikis), Oreo Cookies #3 (John C. Reilly, Jason Sudeikis).

Sketches include an address by Kazakhstan Minister of Tourism Borat Sagdiyev (Sacha Baron Cohen), a parody of the paranormal investigation show "Most Haunted", a protest song by Hugh Laurie, and a "Hardball" on the midterm elections. Borat Cold Open (Lorne Michaels, Sacha Baron Cohen), Monologue (Hugh Laurie), Most Haunted (Hugh Laurie, Amy Poehler, Bill Hader, Fred Armisen), TV Funhouse: GOP Ads, Advance Man (Hugh Laurie, Kristen Wiig), Hardball (Darrell Hammond, Andy Samberg, Jason Sudeikis), Hugh's Protest Song (Hugh Laurie), Beck - "Nausea", Weekend Update (Amy Poehler, Seth Meyers) (featuring Will as Tim Calhoun and Fred and Bill as gay NJ guys), Modern Medicine (Hugh Laurie, Kenan Thompson, Will Forte, Maya Rudolph), Frankenstein's Castle (Hugh Laurie, Bill Hader, Jason Sudeikis, Maya Rudolph), Job Interview (Hugh Laurie, Amy Poehler, Fred Armisen).

Sketches include a monologue featuring Alec's "30 Rock" costars Tina Fey and Tracy Morgan, Alec and Steve Martin battling over who has hosted SNL the most times (with appearances by Martin Short and Paul McCartney) and "The Tony Bennett Show" with a surprise appearance by the real Tony Bennett. Pelosi Cold Open (Kristen Wiig, Will Forte, Fred Armisen), Alec Monologue (Alec Baldwin, Tina Fey, Tracy Morgan), E-Z Date (Jason Sudeikis, Fred Armisen, Will Forte, Maya Rudolph, Kristen Wiig, Amy Poehler, Kenan Thompson), Britney Divorce (Amy Poehler, Jason Sudeikis), Saddam Meeting (Alec Baldwin, Fred Armisen, Bill Hader), G*****l Herpes (Alec Baldwin, Amy Poehler), Backstage at the Platinum Club (Alec Baldwin, Steve Martin, Martin Short, Maya Rudolph, Bill Hader, Paul Mccartney), TV Funhouse: Kobayashi (Takeru Kobayashi), Weekend Update (Amy Poehler, Seth Meyers, Darrell Hammond, Kenan Thompson, Kristen Wiig, Andy Samberg), The Tony Bennett Show (Alec Baldwin, Andy Samberg, Tony Bennett), Bossa Nova Bar (Alec Baldwin, Fred Armisen, Maya Rudolph, Kristen Wiig, Andy Samberg, Amy Poehler, Jason Sudeikis), Jogger from 1992 (Andy Samberg).

Sketches include Ludacris' monologue featuring a visit from his childhood friend Rickdiculous (Kenan Thompson), a marriage counselor that preaches bitchslapping your spouse and an Update commenter, John Mark Karr (Bill Hader), confessing to the OJ Simpson murders among others. Bush Cold Open (Jason Sudeikis), Ludacris Monologue (Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Kenan Thompson), Bitchslap & Hawkins (Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Maya Rudolph, Jason Sudeikis, Kristen Wiig, Amy Poehler, Bill Hader), The O'Reilly Factor: Ludacris (Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Darrell Hammond, Kenan Thompson), Ludacris' Clothing Line (Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Maya Rudolph, Kristen Wiig, Amy Poehler, Jason Sudeikis), Blizzard Man (Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Andy Samberg, Jason Sudeikis, Kristen Wiig, Kenan Thompson), Weekend Update (featuring Jason Sudeikis as Bobby Knight, Bill Hader as John Mark Karr and Maya Rudolph as a teen magazine editor) (Seth Meyers, Amy Poeher), Pool Watch (Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Maya Rudolph, Kenan Thompson, Fred Armisen), Hair Transplant (Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Will Forte, Jason Sudeikis), Lesbian Cruise (Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, Kristen Wiig), Why (Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Darrell Hammond).

Sketches include Matthew Fox's monologue with a visit from Michael Richards (Bill Hader), Nancy Grace, Deep House Dish and Matthew Fox trapped on an elevator ride with fans of "Lost". Bush / Maliki Cold Open (Jason Sudeikis, Fred Armisen, Will Forte, Bill Hader, Maya Rudolph, Andy Samberg, Kristen Wiig, Kenan Thompson), Matthew Fox Monologue (Matthew Fox, Bill Hader), Salemart (Jason Sudeikis, Kenan Thompson, Fred Armisen, Kristen Wiig), Nancy Grace Live (Matthew Fox, Amy Poehler, Kenan Thompson), Deep House Dish (Matthew Fox, Kenan Thompson, Andy Samberg, Maya Rudolph, Amy Poehler), Elevator (Matthew Fox, Fred Armisen, Maya Rudolph, Amy Poehler, Kenan Thompson, Andy Samberg), Weekend Update (Seth Meyers, Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph), Home on the Range (Matthew Fox, Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph), The Mayans (Matthew Fox, Fred Armisen, Maya Rudolph, Bill Hader).

Sketches include Annette Bening's monologue with an appearance by Alec Baldwin, a parody trailer of "Mel Gibson's Apocalypto", two A-holes in a live nativity scene, and on Weekend Update, Will Forte sings a song about gay marriage. Bush Iraq Study Group Cold Open (Jason Sudeikis), Annette Bening's Monologue (Annette Bening, Alec Baldwin, Kristen Wiig, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph), Apocalypto, Morning Show (Annette Bening, Jason Sudeikis, Kenan Thompson, Amy Poehler), TV Funhouse: Diddy Kiddies, Poetry Class (Annette Bening, Andy Samberg, Bill Hader), A-holes - Nativity (Annette Bening, Jason Sudeikis, Kristen Wiig), An SNL Digital Short: Pep Talk (Matthew Fox, Fred Armisen, Amy Poehler, Andy Samberg, Kenan Thompson, Will Forte), Buyer Beware (Kenan Thompson, Maya Rudolph), Weekend Update (featuring Al Gore (Darrell Hammond), Gloria Patrick (Kristen Wiig) and a song about gay marriage by Will Forte and Fred Armisen) (Seth Meyers, Amy Poehler), Valtrex (Alec Baldwin, Amy Poehler), Second Night Out (Annette Bening, Will Forte, Kristen Wiig, Bill Hader), Lawyer Ad (Annette Bening, Bill Hader).

Sketches include Maya Rudolph, Kristin Wiig and Amy Poehler singing about their boyfriend Santa Claus, Justin Timberlake trying to get charity donations for "Homelessville", and Justin and Andy Samberg in a Digital Short about the perfect Christmas gift for your lady. Bonus Material: An SNL Digital Short: An R&B Song. Ladies Sing Cold Open (Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph), Homelessville (Justin Timberlake, Will Forte), Target (Justin Timberlake, Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Will Forte), An SNL Digital Short: An R&B Song (Justin Timberlake, Andy Samberg, Maya Rudolph, Kristen Wiig), Barry Gibb Talk Show (Justin Timberlake, Jimmy Fallon, Kristen Wiig, Fred Armisen, Darrell Hammond), Weekend Update (Amy Poehler, Seth Meyers, Darrell Hammond, Fred Armisen, Bill Hader), Hip-Hop Kids (Justin Timberlake, Maya Rudolph, Kristen Wiig, Amy Poehler, Jason Sudeikis, Kenan Thompson, Will Forte, Bill Hader), Nancy Grace (Amy Poehler).

Sketches include Donald Trump giving a press conference where he can't help bashing Rosie O'Donnell, Steve Jobs (Fred Armisen) on Weekend Update selling the new iPhone, an acting class for bit players on "Law & Order" and an SNL Digital Short sequel to last year's "Laser Cats". Bush Additional Troops Cold Open (Jason Sudeikis), Jake Gyllenhaal Monologue (Jake Gyllenhaal, Jason Sudeikis, Will Forte), Deep House Dish: Charity Mix (Jake Gyllenhaal, Kenan Thompson, Andy Samberg, Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph), Bronx Beat with Betty & J**i (Jake Gyllenhaal, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph), Trump on Rosie Press Conference (Darrell Hammond, Kristen Wiig, Jason Sudeikis, Kenan Thompson, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph), An SNL Digital Short: Laser Cats 2 (Jake Gyllenhaal, Andy Samberg, Bill Hader, Fred Armisen, Amy Poehler), Stock Footage Awards (Jake Gyllenhaal, Darrell Hammond, Kristen Wiig, Amy Poehler), The Shins "Phantom Limb", Weekend Update (Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers, featuring Steve Jobs (Fred Armisen) and Whitney Houston (Maya Rudolph), Law & Order Acting Coach (Jake Gyllenhaal, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, Bill Hader), Wheelchair Set Up (Jake Gyllenhaal, Maya Rudolph, Jason Sudeikis, Kristen Wiig), The Shins "New Slang", Law Firm Ad (Jake Gyllenhaal, Fred Armisen, Kenan Thompson).

Sketches include 2 A-Holes Adopting a Baby, new presidential candidate Hillary Clinton on Hardball, and a town council that wants to kill a magical unicorn. Hardball: Hillary Clinton Cold Open (Darrell Hammond, Amy Poehler), Jeremy Piven Monologue (Jeremy Piven), Commercial Parody: Urigro (Jason Sudeikis, Kristen Wiig), NFL Commentators (Jeremy Piven, Jason Sudeikis, Andy Samberg), TV Funhouse: Year in Review, MacGruber: Factory (Jeremy Piven, Will Forte, Maya Rudolph), A-holes: Adoption Agency (Jeremy Piven, Jason Sudeikis, Kristen Wiig), MacGruber: Dam (Jeremy Piven, Will Forte, Maya Rudolph), Weekend Update (featuring comedian Rich Little (Darrell Hammond) (Amy Poehler, Seth Meyers), Blizzard Man: Common (Jeremy Piven, Common, Kenan Thompson, Andy Samberg), MacGruber: Boat (Jeremy Piven, Will Forte, Maya Rudolph), Unicorn (Jeremy Piven, Bill Hader, Fred Armisen, Kristen Wiig, Jason Sudeikis, Kenan Thompson, Amy Poehler, Darrell Hammond), Hangmen-at-Law (Will Forte, Bill Hader).

Sketches include Amy Poehler as Dakota Fanning and Drew Barrymore as Abigail Breslin in "The Dakota Fanning Show" and Donatella Versace's Superbowl Party, with guests Prince (Fred Armisen), Posh and Becks (Drew and Seth Meyers) and Elton John (Horatio Sanz). American Idol Cold Open (Seth Meyers, Jason Sudeikis, Amy Poehler, Kenan Thompson), The Dakota Fanning Show (Drew Barrymore, Amy Poehler, Kenan Thompson, Bill Hader), Couple's Therapy (Drew Barrymore, Will Forte, Kristen Wiig), An SNL Digital Short: Workout Video (Drew Barrymore, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, Kristen Wiig), Target (Drew Barrymore, Kristen Wiig, Fred Armisen, Jason Sudeikis), Weekend Update (Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers featuring Kenan Thompson as Barbara Birmingham), Donatella's Superbowl Party (Drew Barrymore, Horatio Sanz, Maya Rudolph, Fred Armisen, Seth Meyers), Jo-Jo the Valet (Drew Barrymore, Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig, Will Forte, Bill Hader), Smoked Sausages (Drew Barrymore, Jason Sudeikis), O'Toole & Barrymore at the Bar (Drew Barrymore, Bill Hader), Commercial Parody: Baby Wigs.

Sketches include a Valentine address from Dick and Lynn Cheney, Bronx Beat, Jason Sudeikis as the astronaut at the center of the recent love triangle and an SNL Digital Short featuring Andy Samberg popping into frame. Cheney Valentine Cold Open (Darrell Hammond, Kristen Wiig), Bronx Beat: Blood Drive (Forest Whitaker, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, Kristen Wiig), An SNL Digital Short: Andy Popping Into Frame (Andy Samberg, Will Forte), Commercial Parody: Urigro (Jason Sudeikis, Kristen Wiig), Man vs Beast (Forest Whitaker, Amy Poehler, Jason Sudeikis, Maya Rudolph), Weekend Update (Seth Meyers, Amy Poehler, featuring Jason Sudeikis as William Oefelein and Darrell Hammond and Kenan Thompson as Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton), Are They Crazy (Forest Whitaker, Jason Sudeikis, Kristen Wiig, Fred Armisen, Will Forte, Kenan Thompson), Sloth (Kristen Wiig).

Sketches include a monologue where Rainn encounters SNL versions of his "Office" co-workers, an SNL Digital Short with Rainn running a business meeting, and Weekend Update, including a visit from Andy Samberg as Britain's Prince Harry. CNN Anna Nicole Smith Cold Open (Rainn Wilson, Darrell Hammond), Rainn Wilson Office Monologue (Rainn Wilson, Kristen Wiig, Jason Sudeikis, Rashida Jones, Kenan Thompson, Amy Poehler, Lorne Michaels), An SNL Digital Short: Business Meeting (Rainn Wilson, Amy Poehler, Jason Sudeikis, Bill Hader, Andy Samberg, Will Forte, Kenan Thompson, Darrell Hammond, Fred Armisen, Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Arcade Fire), Design Couple: Magazine Interview (Rainn Wilson, Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Fred Armisen, Andy Samberg), Weekend Update (Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers featuring Kristen Wiig as Amy's Aunt Linda, Fred Armisen as Judge Larry Seidlin and Andy Samberg as Prince Harry), First Day at Work with Neal and Jean Rainn Wilson, Will Forte, Kristen Wiig), White Possum Scream (Rainn Wilson, Kenan Thompson).

Sketches include a commentary on Presidential candidates by Chris Rock, an Oprah Winfrey show on "The Secret", and Julia's encounter with an angry boom mic operator. Chris Rock Cold Open (Chris Rock), Oprah: The Secret (Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Maya Rudolph, Amy Poehler, Kenan Thompson), Restless P**** Syndrome (Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jason Sudeikis, Kenan Thompson, Bill Hader), Vinny Talks To Julia (Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Bill Hader, Fred Armisen, Will Forte, Maya Rudolph), Weekend Update (Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler featuring Fred Armisen as Judge Larry Seidlin), Deep House Dish: Louis-Dreyfus (Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Kenan Thompson, Andy Samberg, Maya Rudolph, Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig, Jason Sudeikis), Boom Mic (Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Bill Hader, Jason Sudeikis), Household Robot (Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jason Sudeikis, Bill Hader, Kristen Wiig, Will Forte, Fred Armisen), Pussycat Dolls Promo (Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Kristen Wiig, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, Kenan Thompson, Andy Samberg).

Sketches include an SNL Digital Short showing Peyton teaching football to kids and Peyton as an actor in the film "300". Bush Gonzales Cold Open (Jason Sudeikis, Fred Armisen), Peyton Monologue (Peyton Manning, Archie Manning, Eli Manning, Olivia Manning), An SNL Digital Short: United Way (Peyton Manning), Bronx Beat (Peyton Manning, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph), Penelope at a Housewarming Party (Peyton Manning, Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Amy Poehler, Bill Hader), TV Funhouse: Maraka, Weekend Update (Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler featuring Will Forte as Senator Tim Calhoun), 300 Shoot (Peyton Manning, Fred Armisen, Jason Sudeikis, Kenan Thompson, Will Forte), On the Porch (Peyton Manning, Kristen Wiig), Commercial Parody: Meatloaf Lovers (Peyton Manning), Commercial Parody: Nike Pick-Ups (Andy Samberg, Jason Sudeikis, Fred Armisen, Bill Hader, Will Forte, Kenan Thompson).

Sketches include Darrell Hammond as Jesse Jackson and Kenan Thompson as Al Sharpton commenting on the firing of Don Imus, underage kids trying to buy beer at a convenience store and a Sofa King commercial. Jackson & Sharpton on Imus Cold Open (Darrell Hammond, Kenan Thompson), Shia's Magical Monologue (Shia LaBeouf, Jason Sudeikis, Kenan Thompson, Darrell Hammond, Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig), Prince Show: Tobey Maguire & Nancy Grace (Shia LaBeouf, Fred Armisen, Maya Rudolph, Amy Poehler), Under 21 (Shia LaBeouf, Andy Samberg, Kenan Thompson, Bill Hader, Will Forte), Dakota Fanning Show: Dylan and Cole Sprouse & Elle Fanning (Shia LaBeouf, Amy Poehler, Kenan Thompson, Andy Samberg, Avril Lavigne), Sofa King (Shia LaBeouf, Maya Rudolph, Fred Armisen, Andy Samberg, Bill Hader), Weekend Update (Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler with Darrell Hammond as Don Imus), Slice-Co Knives (Shia LaBeouf, Will Forte, Kristen Wiig), John & Jessica (Kristen Wiig, Bill Hader), Shia & Maya Backstage (Shia LaBeouf, Maya Rudolph).

Sketches include Regis Philbin's return from heart surgery, an SNL Digital Short tribute to Andy Samberg's brother-in-law, Fred Armisen and Scarlett Johansson selling classy marble columns, and Will Forte's celebration of Earth Day. Bush On Gonzales Hearing Cold Open (Jason Sudeikis, Will Forte, Kenan Thompson, Maya Rudolph, Kristen Wiig), Regis & Kelly: Ivanka Trump (Scarlett Johansson, Darrell Hammond, Amy Poehler, Fred Armisen), Virginiaca: Prom (Scarlett Johansson, Kenan Thompson, Bill Hader, Kristen Wiig), An SNL Digital Short: Roy Rules (Andy Samberg), Marble Columns (Scarlett Johansson, Fred Armisen, Kenan Thompson, Jason Sudeikis, Amy Poehler), Back Around the Town (Scarlett Johansson, Kristen Wiig, Jason Sudeikis), Weekend Update (Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler, featuring Will Forte's Earth Day Song, Fred Armisen on guitar), Kuato's Girlfriend (Scarlett Johansson, Andy Samberg, Bill Hader, Maya Rudolph, Fred Armisen, Amy Poehler, Kenan Thompson, Will Forte, Darrell Hammond), TV Funhouse: Torboto.

Sketches include Molly as Sally O'Malley auditioning to be a stripper at The Soprano's Bada Bing, Will Forte as MacGruber wrestling with a drinking problem and a political debate among fringe presidential candidates. Commercial Parody: Urigro (Jason Sudeikis, Kristen Wiig), Penelope: Tenant Meeting (Molly Shannon, Kristen Wigg, Amy Poehler, Kenan Thompson, Jason Sudeikis), Fringe Candidates Debate (Molly Shannon, Darrell Hammond, Kristen Wiig, Will Forte, Fred Armisen, Jason Sudeikis, Amy Poehler, Andy Samberg, Maya Rudolph, Bill Hader, Kenan Thompson), Sally O'Malley: The Sopranos (Molly Shannon, Darrell Hammond, Fred Armisen, Jason Sudeikis, Will Forte, Bill Hader), Weekend Update (Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers, featuring Molly Shannon as Jeannie Darcy and Fred Armisen as Pep Walters), Kaitlin: Retirement Home (Molly Shannon, Amy Poehler, Bill Hader, Fred Armisen, Maya Rudolph), MacGruber 1: Bridge Control Room (Molly Shannon, Will Forte, Maya Rudolph), TV Funhouse: Einstein, Charli (Molly Shannon, Maya Rudolph, Kenan Thompson), MacGruber 2: POW Prison Camp (Molly Shannon, Will Forte, Maya Rudolph), Trump Steaks (Molly Shannon, Darrell Hammond), MacGruber 3: Drug Lord (Molly Shannon, Will Forte).

Sketches on the season finale include a monologue where Zach sings about his home state New Jersey, Bronx Beat, Deep House Dish and Weekend Update featuring Aunt Linda and a visit from Whitney Houston. Bush Summer Vacation Cold Open (Jason Sudeikis, Darrell Hammond, Maya Rudolph), Zach Braff Monologue (Zach Braff, Andy Samberg, Maya Rudolph, Amy Poehler, Kenan Thompson), Deep House Dish: Braff (Zach Braff, Kenan Thompson, Andy Samberg, Maya Rudolph, Amy Poehler, Will Forte), TV Funhouse: Candidates, Weekend Update (Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers, featuring Kristen Wiig as Aunt Linda, Fred Armisen as Sam Waterston and Maya Rudolph as Whitney Houston), Vinny Talks to Zach (Zach Braff, Bill Hader, Fred Armisen, Will Forte), Bronx Beat: Intern (Zach Braff, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph), Melissa Likes Zach (Zach Braff, Fred Armisen, Maya Rudolph, Bill Hader).