The Simpsons

Bart’s poor schoolwork prompts his teacher, Mrs. Krabappel, to threaten to hold him back in the fourth grade for an extra year. He falls behind while studying for a history test and prays to God for help. That night, a tremendous snowstorm hits Springfield, cancelling school the following day. Bart wants to go out and play, but Lisa tells him he should stay home and study. He does, and gets a D-minus on the test - the bare minimum he needed.

Homer learns of a new anti-baldness drug, which he can only afford by cheating on his company health insurance. He grows a luxurious head of hair and is promoted by Mr. Burns. He gets an office with a gay male assistant, Karl, who develops a crush on him. But jealous Smithers discover the secret of Homer’s success and gets the prescription cancelled. Bald again, no one listens to Homer and he winds up back where he started.

In this trilogy of horror-themed Halloween stories, Bart and Lisa attempt to scare each other with tales of macabre. In the first, “Bad Dream House,” the Simpsons inhabit a haunted home, which possesses their souls, and causes them to attempt to kill each other. But after spending enough time with the Simpsons, it is the house, which kills them itself, vanishing into another dimension. In the second segment, “Hungry are the Damned,” the Simpsons accuse the monsters of planning to eat them, but the offended aliens reveal they were only planning a sumptuous meal for the family. In the third segment, a satire of Poe’s “The Raven,” a grief-stricken Homer is tormented by bad bird Bart.

When a three-eyed fish is discovered in a downstream from Springfield’s Nuclear Power Plant, the plant is hit with tremendous sanctions by state regulators. Burns realizes that if he becomes governor, he could control the regulations and brings in a team of consultants to take him an incumbent governor Mary Bailey. His climactic campaign event is dinner at the Simpson house where Marge - a Bailey booster - serves Burns’ own three-eyed fish to him. Burns can’t eat it, destroying his image and costing him the election.

The family attends a Springfield Isotopes baseball game, which a boozy Homer livens up. He becomes an official mascot for the team, boosting attendance and the team’s play. But when Homer attempts to crack the big time - the big city ballpark of Capital City - he strikes out. Yet he finds to his surprise that the experience has benefited him after all - his friends now consider him interesting.

Homer’s annoyance at his sweet lovable neighbor Ned Flanders grows completely out of bounds, so that when Bart and Ned’s son Todd both show interest in miniature golf, Homer bets Flanders that his son can beat Ned’s – and the loser has to mow the lawn in his wife’s dress. Lisa helps Bart train, using the principles of Zen, and when the big day comes, the boys are evenly matched. They finally agree to tie, and Flanders offers to forget the bet, but Homer insists that they each mow the lawn in a dress - which Flanders enjoys, to Homer’s fury.

It’s a Thanksgiving at the Simpsons house - with Homer betting on football, and Marge’s mother criticizing everything. Lisa has prepared a beautiful centerpiece, containing her feminist heroes, which a jealous Bart accidentally throws into the fire. Homer accuses Bart of ruining Thanksgiving, and Bart runs away from home. The Simpsons grow frantic with fear as Bart roams throughout town, stealing a pie from Mr. Burns. The family spots their son on a news broadcast from a homeless shelter. Bart comes back home and finally apologizes to his sister late at night, on the roof of their house, prompting Homer to exclaim, “We’re the great parents!”

Bart and Homer are excited to learn that a monster truck rally is coming to Springfield, then discover it is on the same night as Lisa’s band concert. After the concert ends, the Simpsons rush out to the rally - only to arrive late and have their car eaten by a fire-breathing steam shovel known as Truckosaurus. Nonetheless, they watch the rest of the show, where Bart is awed by a reckless motorcycle daredevil named Lance Murdock. Bart imitates Murdock’s stunts on his skateboard, and, for the topper, decides to jump Springfield Gorge. Bart cannot be talked out of the leap so Homer rushes to stop him. He does save Bart - only to go toppling down the cliff himself, in one of the series’ classic moments.

After watching a violent episode of Itchy and Scratchy, Maggie clubs Homer on the head, in a scene evocative of Janet Leigh’s death in Psycho. Marge is so upset that she starts a campaign to tone down the violence in cartoons. She succeeds, and Itchy and Scratchy becomes so boring that the children of Springfield stop watching cartoons, becoming happier and healthier. Then Michelangelo’s statue of David begins a tour of Springfield and the same people who supported Marge’s campaign against cartoons now demand that David not be shown. Marge cannot support this, so the statue visits and the cartoons return to be violent.

Mr. Burns hits Bart with a car, prompting Bart to hallucinate that he’s going to Heaven. On his way up he spits off the escalator, and is sent to Hell, but the Devil tells him he is not due there until the Yankees win the pennant (which turns out to be 1996). Regaining consciousness, Bart is fine, but with the help of shifty lawyer Lionel Hutz and quack doctor Nick Riviera, Homer sues Mr. Burns. The jury is unsympathetic to Burns’ condescending attitude, and he invites Homer and Marge over to discuss a settlement. While spying on them, Burns learns that Marge feels like Homer is taking advantage of the situation, and he pays Homer nothing. Homer is distraught and wonders if he can still be with Marge, but when she comes to see him at Moe’s he realizes she’ll be always be the love of his life.

Tired of pork chop night, the family goes out to a sushi restaurant. While there, Homer eats a rare blowfish, whose flesh can be poison. Dr. Hibbert confirms that Homer only has one day left to live, so Homer makes a list, intending to live that day to its fullest. He listens to Lisa’s saxophone, teaches Bart to shave, has a beer with the boys, reconciles with Grampa and is “intamit” with Marge. Finally, he sits down and waits for death, while listening to Larry King read the Bible on tape. The next morning a fearful Marge goes downstairs only to discover Homer is still alive. A happy Homer vows to live each day to the fullest.

As the Simpsons watch a pair of film critics review the latest, ultraviolent McBain film, the TV blows out. To entertain the kids, Homer and Marge tell the story of how they met. We flash back to 1974, where Marge’s hair is down and she is the object of affection of a class brain, Artie Ziff. Homer is enthralled when he first sees Marge and joins the debate team to get closer to her, but he is over matched by the brainier Artie. When the prom time comes, Marge goes out with Artie, leaving Homer to fend for himself. At the prom, Barney streaks, Artie and Marge are crowned King and Queen and a lonely Homer walks home in the mud. But Artie tries to get fresh with Marge, who dumps him and picks Homer up. He reveals to her that she is the love of his life and he’s never going to let her go - which he never does.

We open in the timing of Moses, where Homer the Thief is distraught to receive the commandment “Thou shalt not steal.” In the present, a cable installer offers to sell Homer an illegal hookup. Later, in Sunday school, Lisa is alarmed to learn that stealing can cost you your soul, while on the ride home from church, Bart is amused to repeat the word “hell” again and again. Lisa grows more concerned when she observes stealing in everyday life, like Marge eating grapes in the supermarket. Concerned for her family’s soul, she vows to no longer watch Homer’s illegal cable, no matter how enticing the shows are. Homer invites all his friends over to watch an exciting heavyweight fight, while the sight of Lisa staring mournfully from the front yard robs him of his joy. He joins Lisa and, when the fight is over, he climbs the utility pole (despite Bart’s entreaties) and cuts off the cable.

When Marge’s sister Selma sadly tells Lisa she’s wishing she could find a man, Marge puts Homer to work trying to fix her sister up. Homer rejects various suitors as unsuitable, but when called into a meeting with Bart’s principal, Skinner, Homer realizes that he would make an ideal candidate. Homer invites Skinner to dinner, but instead of Selma, the principal falls for her sister Patty. He is so smitten he lets Bart get away with murder at school, while lonely Selma gets even more disconsolate. Ultimately, Patty rejects Skinner (and possibly all men) leaving Selma pleased, while bitter Skinner takes out his rejection on Bart.

After watching the latest McBain film, Grampa has a mild heart attack, and decides to tell Homer that he has a long lost brother. Homer tracks him down, and is ecstatic to learn that his brother, Herb Powell, is a successful auto industry executive in Detroit. The Simpsons drive to visit Herb, who welcomes them into his luxurious world. While taking Homer through his plant, Herb concludes that his brother has a better grasp of the American public’s tastes than his own engineering team, and puts Homer in charge of designing a new car. The engineers try to fend Homer off, but Herb insists that they listen to his brother. Homer designs a monstrous car with an enormous sticker price, destroying his brother’s company and bankrupting Herb. But, driving back to Springfield Homer is pleased to learn that Bart liked his car.

Bart’s dog, Santa’s Little Helper, grows more and more out-of-control. When he destroys Homer’s expensive new pair of sneakers, he is enrolled in an obedience school, whose headmistress, Emily Winthrop, is a firm believer in the choke chain. Santa’s Little Helper is a poor pupil, and when he destroys a quilt Lisa has sewn while at home with the mumps, and eats a giant cookie Homer has bought, Homer vows to give him away. Bart tries desperately to train the dog, and just in the nick of time teaches him to sit and roll over, enabling Santa’s Little Helper to graduate from obedience school.

At the Springfield retirement castle, Grampa Simpson gets his pills mixed up with those of an elderly widow, Beatrice Simmons. They hit it off and a romance blooms. But when Grampa plans to spend Bea’s birthday with her, the Simpsons come and take him away to a wild animal park, where the animals surround the Simpsons car not letting them out. When they finally return to the retirement home, Bea is dead. A grieving Grampa is surprised to learn that Bea left him $100,000. When the townspeople become aware of this, they show up at Grampa’s door begging to have the money for their own purposes. Realizing he doesn’t have enough money for all the people who need it, Grampa heads for a casino to bet the hundred grand. Homer stops him, and Grampa realizes there is a good use for the money - refurbishing the senior citizen home to make it more livable for the elderly there.

Watching TV, the kids see Krusty do an ad for Mt. Splashmore, a water-themed amusement park. They nag Homer so much that he finally agrees to take them - only to get stuck in a tube at the park because he is too fat. Publicly humiliated, Homer vows to lose weight. While getting his old dumbbells from the attic he finds a series of photos Marge painted of Ringo Starr. Lisa urges Marge to go back to art school to nurture her gift and Marge wins a prize for painting Homer in his underwear, on the couch. Mr. Burns, who is looking for a portrait painter, hires her. She can’t seem to capture his essence, until she sees Burns make fun of Homer, who’s excited he’s gotten his weight down to 239. Marge paints Burns as she sees him - a naked, bitter, elderly man. Burns is upset, but when the public reacts favorably, he goes along.

Lisa’s teacher, Miss Hoover, is stricken with Lyme disease, and Mr. Bergstrom, a cool, witty, substitute teacher takes her place. Lisa is smitten with the smart, sensitive man, who contrasts so favorable; it seems, with her own father. Meanwhile, Bart decides to run for class president where he is expected to easily triumph over class brain Martin Prince. When Lisa comes to school one day, she is shocked to find that Miss Hoover has recovered and Mr. Bergstrom is gone. Meanwhile, Bart celebrates his victory, only to realize that neither he nor his friends bothered to vote, and Martin has won. Lisa tracks Mr. Bergstrom down to the train station, where he is leaving for another gig. But before he does, he hands her a note, reminding her “You Are Lisa Simpson.” That night Homer cheers up a disconsolate Bart and Lisa, showing he’s not such a bad dad after all.

The Simpsons throw a party, inviting all their friends from the neighborhood. Homer gets very drunk and behaves like a perfect lecherous ass. Very upset with his behavior, Marge signs them up for a weekend marriage retreat. Homer is distraught until he realizes that the retreat is on a lake and he’ll be able to sneak in some fishing. Marge and Homer leave the kids in the care of Grampa, and Bart and Lisa immediately try to take advantage of the old man’s gullibility. At the retreat, Marge and Homer have difficulty reconciling their differences, particularly after Marge catches Homer sneaking off to go fishing. At home, the kids throw a party which gets out of hand, prompting Grampa to start crying. Afraid they’ll get in trouble, the kids begin to frantically clean up. Meanwhile, Homer catches a legendary catfish, General Sherman, but to prove his love for Marge he throws it back in the lake. They happily return home to find a clean house and chuckling Grampa, who had conned the kids into doing what he wants.

Bart attends a comic book convention and decides he wants to buy the first issue of “Radioactive Man” comics for $100. He tries and fails to earn the money in various ways, including helping elderly neighbor Mrs. Glick, who works him like a horse then gives him a quarter. So, Bart decides to go in with Milhouse and Martin, both of whom want the comic, though neither has enough money. They soon find that joint ownership is more difficult than it seems, as none of the three wants to let the comic out of his sight. Bart goes temporarily insane, tying up Martin and fighting with Milhouse, until the comic is blown into a driving rainstorm and destroyed, leaving the three boys to ponder the evil of greed.

When Mr. Burns needs a blood transfusion, Homer is pleased to learn that Bart has the same rare blood type. Bart donates his blood and saves Burns, but Homer is upset to find that Burns sends him nothing more than a thank you note. Homer writes an angry letter in response, then thinks better of it, but discovers to his alarm that Bart has already mailed it. Homer tries to recover the letter, but fails, and a furious Burns reads the letter and vows revenge. But Smithers convinces Burns that the Simpsons have indeed done him a favor and, in gratitude, Burns buys them a rare Olmec Indian Head. The Simpsons are unsure what to make of the gift.