Two and a Half Men

2003 • CBS
4.3
2.87K reviews
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Season 9 episodes (24)

1 Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
9/19/11
All is revealed in the ninth season premiere when ASHTON KUTCHER joins the cast as Walden Schmidt, an Internet billionaire with a broken heart.
2 People Who Love Peepholes
9/26/11
Guest star JUDY GREER is introduced as Bridget, Walden's ex-wife in the second part of the ninth season premiere.
3 Big Girls Don't Throw Food
10/3/11
Alan prepares Walden for a date with Bridget, while Jake decides to emulate Walden and drop out of school.
4 Nine Magic Fingers
10/10/11
Trying to rebound from his recent separation, Walden goes looking for Mrs. Right, while Alan has an opportunity to reconcile with his on-again, off-again girlfriend Lyndsey (guest star COURTNEY THORNE-SMITH).
5 A Giant Cat Holding A Churro
10/17/11
While Alan struggles to come to terms with Lyndsey's risqué movie past, Walden tries to cheer him up by throwing a party at the house.
6 The Squat and Hover
10/24/11
Walden receives divorce papers from Bridget, but forgets his depression when he meets a girl who looks eerily like her. JOE MANGANIELLO (True Blood) guest stars as Bridget's new beau, Alex and JANE LYNCH (Glee) returns as therapist, Dr. Freeman.
7 Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
10/31/11
Jake has a crush on his chemistry tutor (guest star MACEY CRUTHIRD)...who has a crush on Walden. Meanwhile, Alan obsesses over the journal his brother left him in his will.
8 Thanks for the Intercourse
11/7/11
When Walden begins redecorating the beach house, Alan becomes overly emotional... and is pushed over the edge.
9 Frodo's Headshots
11/14/11
Upon his release from the hospital, Alan is met with a slew of challenges that test his ability to cope...including GARY BUSEY!
10 A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
11/21/11
Walden hits it off with a British babe (guest star SOPHIE WINKLEMAN), but neither of them is sure he's ready to re-enter the dating world.
11 A Lovely Landing Strip
12/5/11
Walden is trying his best to impress his new love interest, Zoey, when Bridget reappears in his life. MELANIE LYNSKEY returns as Rose.
12 One False Move, Zimbabwe!
12/12/11
Walden's mother, Robin (guest star MIMI ROGERS) arrives and Alan is smitten with her -- even as she reveals a secret about Walden's past that sends him into a downward spiral.
13 Slowly And In A Circular Fashion
1/2/12
When Walden's ex-wife and his mother try to take control of his company and vote him off the board, Walden enlists Alan as an ally in the boardroom battle.
14 A Possum on Chemo
1/16/12
Zoey tries to coerce Walden into cutting his hair and shaving, while Alan rekindles his relationship with Lyndsey.
15 The Duchess of Dull-In-Sack
2/6/12
Walden tries to loosen up Zoey by sharing a couple of Berta's "special" brownies. MATTHEW MARSDEN guest stars as Zoey's ex-husband, Nigel.
16 Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy
2/13/12
Strained relationships and girl-fighting result when a huge storm traps Walden, Alan, Zoey and Lyndsey in the house on Valentine's Day.
17 Not In My Mouth
2/20/12
Walden and Zoey's relationship has a few ups and downs after they share a near-death experienc...and Walden shares his true feelings. Meanwhile, Alan wonders if Lyndsey has a drinking problem.
18 The War Against Gingivitis
2/27/12
Things get tense in the Malibu house when Walden's estranged ex-business partner, Billy (guest star PATTON OSWALT), shows up looking to bury the hatchet with a money-making idea. Will their combustible relationship get in the way of their success? Meanwhile, a lonely Alan pays a visit to Berta.
19 Palmdale, ech
3/19/12
Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers (HOLLAND TAYLOR and GEORGIA ENGEL) to one another, so that they can have more time together. Meanwhile, Jake and Eldridge enlist Walden to drive them to a high school house party that they never find.
20 Grandma's Pie
4/9/12
Walden breaks the news to Zoey that he is going into business with his ex-wife. Meanwhile, Alan and Lyndsey try to come to terms with their moms' new relationship.
21 Mr. Hose says 'Yes'
4/16/12
Walden's commitment is tested when Zoey and her daughter come to live with him -- for a trial run. Meanwhile, Alan gets more than he bargained for when he moves in with Lyndsey.
22 Why We Gave Up Woman
4/30/12
Academy Award® winner KATHY BATES guest stars as the ghost of Charlie Harper who pays a visit to Alan's hospital bedside after Alan suffers a minor heart attack.
23 The Straw In My Donut Hole
5/7/12
On the 200th episode, Alan is showered with love and affection upon returning from the hospital, but Zoey isn't so sure it's deserved. JASON ALEXANDER (Seinfeld) guest stars as Alan's cardiologist.
24 Oh look! Al-Qaeda!
5/14/12
Jake is pressured to make a decision about his future on the ninth season finale. Comedian Patton Oswalt returns as Walden's ex-business partner, Billy.

About this show

Charlie Sheen and Jon Cryer star in this Emmy®-nominated comedy. Sheen plays a Malibu bachelor with an easy way with women. His casual lifestyle is interrupted when his uptight brother (Cryer) and his son stay with him. Despite the complexities of their lives, this unusual family unit promises to make each one of them a better man.

Ratings and reviews

4.3
2.87K reviews
Connie Sewell
August 1, 2015
Charlie Sheen was the man for the job. Having said that, I think that Kutcher is doing the best he can with what he is given. Berta (Conchata Farrell) is, of course, flawless and right on time.The fact of the matter is that Sheen is irreplaceable in this role and the show dynamic just begs for his brand of funky, drunken wit. Sorry Lorre, it just ain't the same; but with one glaring exception. The finale is easily the best series end I have ever seen. Hands down.
17 people found this review helpful
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Jon Doh!
May 25, 2014
They really destroyed the show by replacing Charlie Sheen with "what's his face". Plus, they have ruined Alan's character completely! The writers have gotten worse and worse. The original show was crude, but funny. But then. they went to downright crass, disgusting and utterly stupid when they changed everything. Without Charlie, the new show really stinks. I only watch the reruns with Charlie Sheen. I'd even prefer to watch old reruns of M*A*S*H than the new version of Two and a Half Men.
315 people found this review helpful
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Lillian Cellitti
December 10, 2014
I still can't believed that they replaced Charlie with Ashton! Doesn't make a good fit. He did better in "That 70's Show". And I don't like the other guy anymore, I don't like him so much, that I don't know his name! After Charlie got fired, the show just sucked. I can't believe they have 12 seasons of that trash! Ashton doesn't fit in. And is that creepy weird woman still there? The one that climbs through the balcony.Any way, the show sucks now.
19 people found this review helpful
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