Hi! I'm Keith Lemon, Business Man of the Year 1993 and inventor of the Securipole. This is my fantastic trip where I wanted to fatten my horizons and get up close with some bang tidy ladies - or stinky mingers - I really weren't that fussy. I went to the USA, Mexico, Australia, Egypt, Japan and Iceland, but I weren't on my own, like. I met up with Mel B, Tamzin Outhwaite, Sharon Osbourne, Dermot O'Leary, the Kaiser Chiefs, Stefan Dennis and loads of other foreigners and celebrities. It were a great trip but I had to come back home cos I got Mel C up the Duff. It really was a tour I'll never forget to remember...