When the students at Tom Landry Middle School have to pass a standardized test, the faculty is put in jeopardy because of "No Child Left Behind;" and Principal Moss comes up with a plan to outsmart the system which affects Bobby.
When Peggy and Hank's date night runs long, and they forget to pick up Bobby at the mall, Bobby uses their guilt to compete for their love; but his plan backfires when Peggy and Hank stop giving him everything he wants, and resolve to spend more time with him.
When Hank and his buddies get a second chance to play the team that beat them in their big high-school football state-championship game, Hank breaks his nose during practice and must get plastic surgery to correct it.
When Hank is given a box full of his late father's belongings, he discovers a list of his father's off-the-wall last wishes; including wanting Hank to flush his ashes down a toilet that General George S. Patton once used.
Bill meets a body builder named Dirk who agrees to help him train for an upcoming Army physical, but when Bill starts working out with Dirk and his two meathead buddies, Bill develops a bad attitude and alienates his former friends.
Hank tries to raise money to save the middle school's softball team by pitting the Zephyrs against a Harlem Globetrotters-like team; and complications ensue when Hank makes the mistake of trying to win the game.
Hank realizes he doesn't have any home-owner's insurance; Dale realizes people are willing to pay money to be stung by bees; Bill and Boomhauer discover the pleasures of a deep fryer; and Peggy and Luanne get stuck at a highway rest stop with nothing to eat.
When the station manager hires a new weatherman to replace Nancy after she blows an important forecast, Peggy convinces Nancy that covering a dangerous wildfire is the only way to win back her job; and Hank helps Bobby deter a bully who's obsessed with scaring people.
Hank commissions Peggy to create some artwork to satisfy the local zoning board after they approve a Strickland Propane expansion, but Peggy is humiliated when an art dealer promotes her as an illiterate hillbilly; Dale buys a suit of armor and behaves as if he's invincible.
When racecar driver John Force needs a kidney transplant, Dale turns out to be a perfect match; and Peggy helps Bobby win over his classmates when he reads announcements over the school's intercom system.
Hank reacts with disbelief when he realizes Bobby's history textbook contains almost nothing on the Alamo; and Peggy photographs a Flat Stanley doll to help teach kids about geography and safety issues.
Hank puts his reputation on the line when he recommends Dale for an exterminator job at Megalomart...only to realize that Dale thinks the vermin is Chuck Mangione; Bobby cheats at a game by stuffing beans up his nose.
Buck Strickland and his brother convince Luanne she's got serious talent in the boxing ring, prompting her to pick a fight with George Foreman's daughter, Freda. But unbeknownst to Luanne, all of her matches were rigged.
Hank takes Joseph on a vision quest in hopes of changing the boy's ways, but when Dale ends up experiencing a vision of his own, he misinterprets one of Joseph's dreams...and encourages him to kill a panda at the zoo.
After attending couples counseling, Hank and Peggy buy a motorcycle and head for Sturgis, South Dakota to attend a giant biker rally. But trouble erupts when Hank refuses to allow Peggy to do the driving.
When Hank teaches Bobby the basics of propane sales, Bobby ignores the advice and uses his own strategy—with impressive results; Bill sails away in a lawn chair tied to weather balloons; Peggy worries that the liver cleanser she purchased is poisoning her.
Peggy's not as fluent in Spanish as she thinks she is, and when she takes Bobby's class on a field trip to Mexico, she accidentally kidnaps a Mexican girl. Meanwhile, a saucy police woman has the hots for Hank.
In the midst of a major crisis—a beer shortage in Texas—Peggy takes a job at Alamo Beer, where she signs a non-disclosure agreement, so she can't tell Hank that the beer he's been drinking is tainted, making him violently ill.
The Hills are off to Japan so Cotton can apologize to the widow of a soldier he killed in WWII, but something about Cotton's story doesn't quite add up. Hank learns that he has a half-brother, Junichiro, and the two must put aside their differences to stop the embittered Cotton from sparking an international incident by spitting in the face of the Japanese emperor. Download part 1 now!
The Hills are off to Japan so Cotton can apologize to the widow of a soldier he killed in WWII, but something about Cotton's story doesn't quite add up. Hank learns that he has a half-brother, Junichiro, and the two must put aside their differences to stop the embittered Cotton from sparking an international incident by spitting in the face of the Japanese emperor. Download part 2 now!