Two and a Half Men

2003 • CBS
4.3
2.88K reviews
Eligible
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Season 7 episodes (22)

1 818-jklpuzo
9/21/09
On the seventh season premiere, Charlie (series star CHARLIE SHEEN) must decide between his fiancée, Chelsea (recurring guest star JENNIFER TAYLOR), and his old flame, Mia (recurring guest star EMMANUELLE VAUGIER). Rock superstar EDDIE VAN HALEN makes a cameo appearance as himself.
2 Whipped Unto the Third Generation
9/28/09
When Charlie's fiancée, Chelsea, convinces him to let Melissa (recurring guest star KELLY STABLES), Alan's girlfriend, move in, the girls take over the house.
3 Mmm, fish. Yum.
10/5/09
Alan (series star JON CRYER) plays nursemaid to Judith's baby and her tipsy mother, Lenore (recurring guest star ANNIE POTTS). Meanwhile, Jake (series star ANGUS T. JONES) blackmails Charlie with an incriminating photo.
4 Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
10/12/09
Alan takes a job working for Evelyn (series star HOLLAND TAYLOR), and Charlie is forced to mend Chelsea and Jake's rocky relationship.
5 For the Sake of the Child
10/19/09
Jake refuses to stay with Charlie and Alan after they embarrass him in public.
6 Give Me Your Thumb
11/2/09
Alan recommends that Chelsea get breast reduction surgery and Charlie kicks him out.
7 Untainted by Filth
11/9/09
Charlie and Alan wake up together in bed with a strange woman.
8 Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle
11/16/09
Chelsea invites her beautiful college roommate (guest star TRICIA HELFER -- Battlestar Galactica) to stay at the house while she gets over a bad breakup.
9 Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
11/23/09
Charlie is crushed when he discovers he hasn't been satisfying Chelsea and Alan attempts to cure his thinning hair on the cheap.
10 That's Why They Call It 'Ball Room'
12/7/09
Charlie discovers that Chelsea hasn't been completely honest about her finances.
11 Warning, it's Dirty
12/14/09
Charlie coaches Jake on the art of infidelity while his girlfriend is away for Christmas. Legendary Television Producer/Writer/Actor CARL REINER guest stars as "Marty Pepper," a famous TV producer whom Evelyn invites to Charlie's for Christmas dinner.
12 Fart jokes, pie and Celeste
1/11/10
Jake writes love songs to woo his ex-girlfriend, and Herb and Alan hide their secret friendship from Judith's watchful eye.
13 Yay, no polyps!
1/18/10
Charlie endures a colonoscopy to get out of a trip to see Chelsea's bigoted parents (guest stars STACY KEACH and MEAGEN FAY), only to return home and find them in his living room.
14 Crude and Uncalled For
2/1/10
Alan ends up in jail after a bar fight, and Charlie worries that Chelsea might be interested in the lawyer who takes the case (STEVEN ECKHOLDT).
15 Aye, aye, Captain Douche
2/8/10
Charlie's jealousy threatens his relationship with Chelsea.
16 Tinkle Like a Princess
3/1/10
Charlie runs off to Vegas and returns with a new wife...but she's not Chelsea! STACY KEACH returns as Chelsea's father and JOHN AMOS guest stars as his boyfriend.
17 I Found Your Moustache
3/8/10
Charlie and Chelsea have a post-breakup one-night stand. STACY KEACH returns as Chelsea's father and JOHN AMOS guest stars as his boyfriend.
18 Ixnay on the Oggie Day
3/22/10
Charlie has a return engagement with Chelsea's best friend, while Alan has an unexpected effect on a new female patient. TRICIA HELFER returns as Chelsea's best friend and FRANCES FISHER guest stars as Alan's patient.
19 Keith Moon is Vomiting in His Grave
4/12/10
Jake's new friend, Eldridge (guest star GRAHAM PATRICK MARTIN), is a bad influence but Alan really likes his hot mom, Lyndsay (guest star COURTNEY THORNE-SMITH).
20 I Called Him Magoo
5/10/10
Alan tries for an intimate night at a hotel with his new girlfriend (COURTNEY THORNE-SMITH), while Charlie takes a different approach to obtain the "girlfriend experience."
21 Gumby with a Pokey
5/17/10
Alan and Jake go on a road trip while Charlie is visited by the ghosts of girlfriends past -- including guest stars KATHERINE LANASA, MING NA, EMMANUELLE VAUGIER, RACHEL CANNON, AJA EVANS, MAGDALENA HOLLAND, REBECCA MCFARLAND, KATY MIXON, JODI LYN O'KEEFE, MISSI PYLE AND RENA SOFER. ZZ TOP also makes a special appearance as themselves, while MARTIN MULL returns as Charlie's pharmacist Russell.
22 This is Not 22 Gonna End Well
5/24/10
After Charlie's license is suspended, Jake becomes Charlie's driver. And much to Charlie's chagrin, Alan makes plans to attend Chelsea's birthday party on the seventh season finale. STACY KEACH and JOHN AMOS return as Chelsea's father and his boyfriend.

About this show

Charlie Sheen and Jon Cryer star in this Emmy®-nominated comedy. Sheen plays a Malibu bachelor with an easy way with women. His casual lifestyle is interrupted when his uptight brother (Cryer) and his son stay with him. Despite the complexities of their lives, this unusual family unit promises to make each one of them a better man.

Ratings and reviews

4.3
2.88K reviews
Connie Sewell
August 1, 2015
Charlie Sheen was the man for the job. Having said that, I think that Kutcher is doing the best he can with what he is given. Berta (Conchata Farrell) is, of course, flawless and right on time.The fact of the matter is that Sheen is irreplaceable in this role and the show dynamic just begs for his brand of funky, drunken wit. Sorry Lorre, it just ain't the same; but with one glaring exception. The finale is easily the best series end I have ever seen. Hands down.
17 people found this review helpful
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Jon Doh!
May 25, 2014
They really destroyed the show by replacing Charlie Sheen with "what's his face". Plus, they have ruined Alan's character completely! The writers have gotten worse and worse. The original show was crude, but funny. But then. they went to downright crass, disgusting and utterly stupid when they changed everything. Without Charlie, the new show really stinks. I only watch the reruns with Charlie Sheen. I'd even prefer to watch old reruns of M*A*S*H than the new version of Two and a Half Men.
315 people found this review helpful
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Lillian Cellitti
December 10, 2014
I still can't believed that they replaced Charlie with Ashton! Doesn't make a good fit. He did better in "That 70's Show". And I don't like the other guy anymore, I don't like him so much, that I don't know his name! After Charlie got fired, the show just sucked. I can't believe they have 12 seasons of that trash! Ashton doesn't fit in. And is that creepy weird woman still there? The one that climbs through the balcony.Any way, the show sucks now.
19 people found this review helpful
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