Bib Ballads

Ring W. Lardner

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GOOD-BY BILL

Dollar Bill, that I've held so tight

Ever since payday, a week ago,

Shall I purchase with you tonight

A pair of seats at the vaudeville show?

(Hark! A voice from the easy chair:

"Look at his shoes! We must buy a pair.")

Dollar Bill, from the wreckage saved,

Tell me, how shall I squander you?

Shall I be shined, shampooed and shaved,

Singed and trimmed 'round the edges, too?

(Hark! A voice from the easy chair:

"He hasn't a romper that's fit to wear.")

Dollar Bill, that I cherished so,

Think of the cigarettes you'd buy,

Turkish ones, with a kick, you know;

Makin's eventually tire a guy.

(Hark! A voice from the easy chair:

"Look at those stockings! Just one big tear!")

Dollar Bill, it is time to part.

What do I care for a vaudeville show?

I'll shave myself and look just as smart.

Makin's aren't so bad, you know.

Dollar Bill, we must say good-by;

There on the floor is the Reason Why.