Dating, Loving, and Leaving a Narcissist: Essential Tools for Improving or Leaving Narcissistic and Abusive Relationships

· Carousel Books · AI-narrated by Mia (from Google)
2 reviews
8 hr 22 min
Want a free 30 min sample? Listen anytime, even offline. 

About this audiobook

Do you feel trapped between your love and your pain, long for peace but feel exhausted, belittled, and confused by a narcissist?

The core problem in relationships with narcissists is that they prioritize power and sacrifice the relationship to get it, while their partners prioritize the relationship and sacrifice themselves to keep it. Dating, Loving, and Leaving a Narcissist is unique among voices that exhort leaving a narcissist. It’s insightful, researched, and empathetic and offers hope and help for loved ones to restore their self-esteem and rebalance a narcissistic relationship. It includes Essential Tools for Staying or Leaving Narcissistic and Abusive Relationships and provides an in-depth analysis of the relationship, how to make changes, and how to assess its prognosis.

This workbook is packed with healing exercises and checklists to enlighten and motivate you. It suggests lists of actions, including a strategic, step-by-step plan with scripts to confront abuse and get your needs met. You will reclaim yourself and improve your relationship, whether the narcissist is your partner, parent, child, sibling, or co-worker or doesn’t have a narcissistic personality disorder. In sum, you will better your relationship with yourself and your loved one and be able to determine whether and how to leave the relationship. Be sure to do the Innercises on the companion PDF.

You will:

Discover the diagnosis, type, and deep motivations of a narcissist

Recognize the red flags when dating a narcissist and know what to do

Identify narcissistic behavior and know how to handle it

Understand your role and attraction to a narcissist

Regain your autonomy and self-esteem

Rebalance the power in the relationship

Learn how to confront abuse effectively

Be able to assess your relationship and be prepared to leave

Chapter 1 examines a narcissistic personality disorder, the different types of narcissists, including narcissistic parents, and the cause and signs of narcissism.

Chapter 2 focuses on the underlying features, behaviors, motivations, and traits. You will discover how to identify the type you’re dealing with, and why narcissists act the way they do. Chapter 3 explains narcissistic defenses and all varieties of narcissistic abuse because it’s imperative to spot even in most subtle forms of abuse.

Chapters 4 and 5 look at the typical personality of people who love narcissists and what makes them susceptible to narcissists and abuse. This is where personal growth lies.

The next four chapters center on the relationship, starting with the mutual attraction and the signs and problems that arise when dating and loving a narcissist. Chapters 6 and 7 cover issues such as control, intimacy, emotional unavailability, love-bombing, ghosting, and gaslighting. Chapter 7 explores how to determine whether a narcissist is even capable of love. If you’ve been repeatedly emotionally abandoned, you’ll learn the warning clues to prevent its recurrence.

Chapters 8 and 9 are about taking action. Changing the balance of power is essential. A blueprint is laid out for you to follow in order to change the relationship dynamics. Chapter 9 details a step-by-step game plan to effectively communicate with the narcissist in your life and confront their defenses and subtle forms of emotional abuse. Scripts are suggested so you can practice setting boundaries and ask for changes that you want. It also offers advice for navigating couples therapy.

Chapters 10-12 discuss leaving your relationship and moving on. They examine why it’s so difficult, what to expect, such as trauma bonds, grief, and hoovering, plus provide practical advice regarding flying monkey and divorce tactics with strategies you can implement. Finally, as you make a fresh start, the stages of recovery are set forth along with valuable guidance and recommendations for creating a single life that may include dating and therapy.

Be sure to do the Innercises on the companion PDF.

Ratings and reviews

2 reviews

About the author

International relationship expert and media spokesperson on narcissism and codependency, Darlene Lancer is a psychotherapist and author of 10 books, including Dating, Loving, and Leaving a Narcissist: Essential Tools for Improving or Leaving Narcissistic and Abusive Relationships, Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You and Codependency for Dummies. She’s counseled individuals and couples for 30 years and coaches internationally. Her ebooks include: 10 Steps to Self-Esteem, How To Speak Your Mind - Become Assertive and Set Limits, Dealing with a Narcissist: 8 Steps to Raise Self-Esteem and Set Boundaries with Difficult People, "I'm Not Perfect - I'm Only Human" - How to Beat Perfectionism, and Freedom from Guilt and Blame - Finding Self-Forgiveness. They’re available on Amazon, other online booksellers and her website,, where visitors can get a free copy of “14 Tips for Letting Go.” Find her on Soundcloud, Clyp, LinkedIn, Youtube, Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. 

Rate this audiobook

Tell us what you think.

Listening information

Smartphones and tablets
Install the Google Play Books app for Android and iPad/iPhone. It syncs automatically with your account and allows you to read online or offline wherever you are.
Laptops and computers
You can read books purchased on Google Play using your computer's web browser.

More by Darlene Lancer

Similar audiobooks

Narrated by Mia