How to Become a Federal Criminal: An Illustrated Handbook for the Aspiring Offender

Mike Chase

Jun 2019 · Simon and Schuster · Narrated by Jonathan Todd Ross

About this audiobook

In this “excellent book for people who like to start sentences with ‘Did you know that…’” (The New York Times), discover the most bizarre ways you might become a federal criminal in America—from mailing a mongoose to selling Swiss cheese without enough holes—written and illustrated by the creator of the wildly popular @CrimeADay Twitter account.

Have you ever clogged a toilet in a national forest? That could get you six months in federal prison. Written a letter to a pirate? You might be looking at three years in the slammer. Leaving the country with too many nickels, drinking a beer on a bicycle in a national park, or importing a pregnant polar bear are all very real crimes, and this riotously funny, ridiculously entertaining, and fully illustrated book shows how just about anyone can become—or may already be—a federal criminal.

Whether you’re a criminal defense lawyer or just a self-taught expert in outrageous offenses, How to Become a Federal Criminal is “an entertaining and humorous look at our criminal justice system” (Forbes).

Ratings and reviews

love it, but it's a sad commentary on the state of government

About the author

By day, Mike Chase is a white collar criminal defense lawyer. By night, he’s the legal humorist behind the @CrimeADay Twitter feed, where he offers a daily dose of his extensive research into the curious, intriguing, and often amusing history of America’s expansive criminal laws. Mike’s work has made him the go-to commentator on the countless weird and esoteric federal criminal laws buried deep in the books: he’s been a featured guest on American Public Media’s The Uncertain Hour, published in The Wall Street Journal, and more.