Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers

Gabor Maté · Gordon Neufeld

Mar 2021 · Ebury Digital · Narrated by Gabor Maté and Daniel Maté

About this audiobook

Brought to you by Penguin.

Children take their lead from their friends: being 'cool' matters more than anything else. Shaping values, identity and codes of behaviour, peer groups are often far more influential than parents.

But this situation is far from natural, and it can be dangerous - it undermines family cohesion, interferes with healthy development, and fosters a hostile and sexualized youth culture. Children end up becoming conformist, anxious and alienated.

In Hold on to Your Kids, acclaimed physician and bestselling author Gabor Maté joins forces with Gordon Neufeld, a psychologist with a reputation for penetrating to the heart of complex parenting. Together they pinpoint the causes of this breakdown and offer practical advice on how to 'reattach' to sons and daughters, establish the hierarchy at home, make children feel safe and understood, and earn back your children's loyalty and love. This updated edition also addresses the unprecedented parenting challenges posed by the rise of digital devices and social media.

By helping to reawaken our instincts, Maté and Neufeld empower parents to be what nature intended: a true source of contact, security and warmth for their children.

'Maté's book will make you examine your behaviour in a new light' Guardian

'bold, wise and deeply moral. [Maté] is a healer to be cherished' Naomi Klein, author of No Logo and The Shock Doctrine

© Gabor Maté 2004 (P) Penguin Audio 2021

Ratings and reviews

Extremely good content. I want to read it on and on to keep reminding myself of how it is important to work with my children from early on and instill a relationship based on trust and understanding. Gabor Matté shows profound knowledge and offers humble advice.

makes so much sense, should be required reading for all parents

About the author

Gabor Maté (Author, Reader)
A celebrated speaker, and bestselling author, Dr Gabor Maté is highly sought after for his expertise on a range of topics including addiction, stress and childhood development. Rather than offering quick-fix solutions to these complex issues, Dr Maté weaves together scientific research, case histories, and his own insights and experience to present a broad perspective that enlightens and empowers people to promote their own healing and that of those around them.

Dr Maté has written several bestselling books including When the Body Says No, Scattered Minds and co-authored Hold on to Your Kids. His most recent book The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture is a New York Times bestseller. Dr Maté's works have been published internationally in over twenty languages.

Supporters of Dr Maté include Dr Rangan Chatterjee, Bessel van der Kolk, Johann Hari and Esther Perel. He was recently featured in the highly publicised livestream conversation with Prince Harry where they discussed loss, trauma and the importance of healing.

Gordon Neufeld (Author)
Gordon Neufeld PhD, is a Vancouver-based
clinical psychologist, internationally renowned as a foremost authority on child development. His Neufeld Institute delivers many courses he has created for parents, educators, and helping professionals on several continents. He is recognized for his unique ability to unlock the clues to seemingly complex problems of child rearing and education.

Daniel Maté (Reader)
Daniel Maté is an acclaimed composer-lyricist who has received the Kleban Prize for Lyrics, the ASCAP Foundation Cole Porter Award and a Jonathan Larson Grant. His musicals include The Longing and the Short of It, Hansel & Gretl & Heidi & Gu ̈nter, Middle School Mysteries and a forthcoming adaptation of the Russell Banks novel The Sweet Hereafter. He also runs a popular 'mental chiropractic' service called Take a Walk with Daniel.