Unidentified Funny Objects

Unidentified Funny Objects

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Unidentified Funny Objects is the first volume in the ongoing series of anthologies collecting humorous science fiction and fantasy stories. Packed with laughs, it has 29 stories ranging from lighthearted whimsy to the wild and zany.

Inside you will find a zombear, tweeting aliens, down-on-their-luck vampires, time twisting belly dancers, moon Nazis, stoned computers, omnivorous sex-maniac pandas, and a spell-casting Albert Einstein.

WARNING: Some stories contain R-rated content and are inappropriate for minors, nuns, and anyone who lacks a sense of humor.

Includes the following stories:

“El and Al vs. Himmler’s Horrendous Horde from Hell” by Mike Resnick
“The Alchemist’s Children” by Nathaniel Lee
“Moon Landing” by Lavie Tidhar
“Fight Finale from the Near Future” by James Beamon
“Love Thy Neighbors” by Ken Liu
“The Alien Invasion As Seen In The Twitter Stream of @dweebless” by Jake Kerr
“Dreaming Harry” by Stephanie Burgis
“The Last Dragon Slayer” by Chuck Rothman
“The Real Thing” by Don Sakers
“2001 Revisited via 1969″ by Bruce Golden
“The Working Stiff” by Matt Mikalatos
“Temporal Shimmies” by Jennifer Pelland
“One-Hand Tantra” by Ferrett Steinmetz
“Of Mat and Math” by Anatoly Belilovsky
“Timber!” by Scott Almes
“Go Karts of the Gods” by Michael Kurland
“No Silver Lining” by Zach Shephard
“If You Act Now” by Sergey Lukyanenko
“My Kingdom for a Horse” by Stephen D. Rogers
“First Date” by Jamie Lackey
“All I Want for Christmas” by Siobhan Gallagher
“Venus of Willendorf” by Deborah Walker
“An Unchanted Sword” by Jeff Stehman
“The Day They Repossessed my Zombies” by K.G. Jewell
“The Fifty One Suitors of Princess Jamatpie” by Leah Cypess
“The Secret Life of Sleeping Beauty” by Charity Tahmaseb
“The Velveteen Golem” by David Sklar
“The Worm’s Eye View” by Jody Lynn Nye
“Cake from Mars” by Marko Kloos
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Additional Information

Publisher
UFO Publishing
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Published on
Oct 7, 2013
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Pages
320
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Language
English
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Genres
Fiction / Fantasy / Humorous
Fiction / Science Fiction / Humorous
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Content Protection
This content is DRM free.
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Read Aloud
Available on Android devices
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Eligible for Family Library

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SCIENCE FICTION, FANTASY, HUMOR

* Cranky Goblin Cooks
* Unscrupulous Chemists
* Lecherous Space Pirates
* Disagreeable Alien Symbiotes
* Soul-Searching Snot Elementals

The Unidentified Funny Objects series serves an annual dose of funny. zany, and unusual science fiction and fantasy stories. All-new fiction from the genre's top voices! Our sixth volume features a Mad Amos story by Alan Dean Foster, a Harry the Book tale by Mike Resnick, and an Alexander Outland short by Gini Koch. Jim Hines reimagines a Game of Thrones with goblins in it, Ken Liu begs a sentient AI to spare him, and Esther Friesner takes us on a tour of Chelm, complete with dragons and gratuitous footnotes. There are also tales of an interdimensional secret agent, a warrior-writer on a quest from an evil god, a necromancer intent on rehabilitating the image of his profession, and many more.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Foreword by Alex Shvartsman
“A Game of Goblins” by Jim C. Hines
“The Breakdown of Parasite/Host Relationship” by Paul R. Hardy
“From This She Makes a Living?” by Esther Friesner
“Twenty-Nine Responses to Inquiries About My Craigslist Post: Alien Spaceship for Sale $200, You Haul” by Tina Connolly
“Tyler the Snot Elemental Scours the Newspaper, Searching for Change” by Zach Shephard
“Agent of Chaos” by Jack Campbell
“Display of Affection” by P. J. Sambeaux
“The Great Manhattan Eat-Off” by Mike Resnick
“An Evil Opportunity Employer” by Lawrence Watt-Evans
“Common Scents” by Jody Lynn Nye
“A Mountain Man and a Cat Walk into a Bar” by Alan Dean Foster
“Lost and Found” by Laura Resnick
“A Crawlspace Full of Prizes” by Bill Ferris
“Return to Sender” by Melissa Mead
“The Friendly Necromancer” by Rod M. Santos
“An Open Letter to the Sentient AI Who Has Announced Its Intention to Take Over the Earth” by Ken Liu
“Approved Expense” by David Vierling
“Alexander Outland: Space Jockey” by Gini Koch
“Dear Joyce” by Langley Hyde
“Impress Me, Then We’ll Talk About the Money” by Tatiana Ivanova (translated from Russian by Alex Shvartsman)
 TOP AUTHORS POKE FUN AND PAY TRIBUTE TO H.P. LOVECRAFT'S CTHULHU MYTHOS.

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Cthul.
Cthul who?
Exactly! I've come to tickle your funnybone.
Oh, and also to eat your soul.

In 1928, Weird Tales debuted “The Call of Cthulhu” by H.P. Lovecraft, and the Cthulhu Mythos was born. In the 90 years since, dozens of writers have dared play within HPL’s mind-blowing creation—but never with such terrifyingly funny results. Now top authors lampoon, parody, and subvert Lovecraft’s Mythos. See Cthulhu cut short his nap at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean to invade North Korea! Watch the Unspeakable Eater of Souls solve crimes on the pulpy streets of Innsmouth! And speaking of largish Elder Gods, listen to a plastic Elvis doll dispense folksy advice straight from the heart of the Emperor of Dread! Again Ol’ Tentacle-Face is confronted by frail humans who dare defy the Incarnation of Ultimate Evil—but this time not by brave monster hunters and terrified villagers, but by fan fiction writers, clueless college students, and corporate lawyers (okay, we realize it’s hard to know who to root for in that confrontation).

Twenty-three mirthful manifestations within the Cthulhu Mythos from best-selling and award-winning authors Neil Gaiman, Mike Resnick, Esther Friesner, Ken Liu, Jody Lynn Nye, Laura Resnick, Nick Mamatas, and many more!

Guaranteed to leave you howling. Because if you look at it just right, there’s nothing funnier than a soul writhing in cosmic horror before a tentacled maw of malevolence. As HPL himself saith: “From even the greatest of horrors irony is seldom absent.”

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At the publisher's request, this title is sold without DRM (Digital Rights Management).


Praise for the Unidentified Funny Objects anthologies, edited by Alex Shvartsman:

“This book is a delight. There are a lot of giggles here, and every now and then you’ll laugh your head off. This is a hoot from start to finish.”—Galaxy’s Edge

“Shvartsman delivers a wonderful anthology and if you want to broaden your humorous SFF reading, Unidentified Funny Objects is a great place to start.”— A Fantastical Librarian

Praise for Alex Shvartsman:

“Shvartsman is an entertaining writer who can take on many voices and make them his.” –Locus

“Alex Shvartsman’s comedy is bright and direct with clever dialogue of both the inner and outer sort.”—Tangent Online

Complete Contributor List:
Neil Gaiman
Jody Lynn Nye
Mike Resnick
Ken Liu
Nick Mamatas
Esther Friesner
David Vaughan
Kevin Wetmore
Shaenon K. Garrity
Brian Trent
Alex Shvartsman
Rachael Klahn Jones
Yvonne Navarro
Scott Huggins
Gini Koch
Aidan Doyle
Konstantine Paradias
Amanda Helms
Laura Resnick
Matt Mikalatos
Laura Pearlman
Lucy A. Snyder

Original stories by David Vaughan, Jody Lynn Nye, Mike Resnick, Brian Trent, Yvonne Navarro, G. Scott Huggins, Gini Koch, Aidan Doyle, Amanda Helms, Laura Resnick, Laura Pearlman, Lucy Snyder, and Nick Mamatas.

Reprints by Esther Friesener, Kevin Wetmore, Shaenon K. Garrity, Alex Shvatsman, Ken Liu, Rachael K. Jones, Neil Gaiman, Konstantine Paradias, and Matt Mikalatos.
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