Bard of the Deal: The Poetry of Donald Trump

Hart Seely

Dis 2015 · HarperCollins

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From award-winning reporter and author of Pieces of Intelligence: The Existential Poetry of Donald H. Rumsfeld comes this collection of poems mined from the interviews, speeches, and tweets of Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump.

The Vicious Ones

I was attacked viciously

By those women,

Of course, it's very hard for them

To attack me on looks,

Because I'm so good looking.

But I was attacked very viciously

By those women.

--August 9, 2015, NBC’s Meet the Press

Straight from the mouth of “the Donald” himself, this treasury of spoken poetry—not a word is changed—has been culled from nearly 30 years of interviews, speeches, tweets, and ramblings from Presidential candidate and billionaire Donald Trump. Since the 1980s, Trump has built his verses like his casinos, using only the highest quality words and phrases, regardless of cost. He’s run a real estate empire, achieved a net worth of ten billion dollars, scripted best-sellers, and starred in the top-rated TV show “The Apprentice.” Like a colossus, he bestrides the cultural world as if it were the bottle-strewn boardwalk of Atlantic City.

But until now, Trump’s poetry—delivered spontaneously in moments of enduring clarity—has gone unnoticed, (making it the only aspect of Trump to be that way.) On a regular basis, The Donald speaks, tweets and hollers his verses—always without the needless restrictions of political correctness and grammar… because among world class poets, there don’t be no grammar, there only be truth… big time!

Whether you’re a Trump debunker or admirer, The Bard of the Deal will delight, shock, and entertain you. So prepare to be Trumped by the ten billion dollar poetry of the ten billion dollar bard. This is the art of the poem.

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Hart Seely is an award-winning reporter and humorist whose work has appeared in The New Yorker, the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, National Lampoon, and Slate, and on National Public Radio. In addition to editing Pieces of Intelligence: The Existential Poetry of Donald H. Rumsfeld and O Holy Cow!; The Selected Verse of Phil Rizzuto, Hart has authored and coauthored several other books including, most recently, his memoir The Juju Rules: Or, How to Win Ballgames from Your Couch. He lives in Syracuse, New York.