My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

Chelsea Handler

Sep 2008 · Bloomsbury Publishing USA

About this ebook

You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool.
Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men and lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her even shorter dalliance with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty. Encouraged by her motley collection of friends (aka: her partners in crime) but challenged by her family members (who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounter), Chelsea hits bottom and bounces back, unafraid to share the gritty details. My Horizontal Life is one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning.

Ratings and reviews

Chelsea Handler isn't funny or entertaining. Instead of trying to cleverly weave her tales of debauchery into text, she writes with the skill and wit of a drunk, 15 year old moron struggling to get a passing grade in English. Interesting, yes, but since her stories are poorly translated into this jumble of thoughts, only fans that have had the same experiences or ones who enjoy trashy literature will appreciate this piece.

Book had some funny moments. I skipped two chapters because they were just dragging along. Overall a decent read for the $5 I paid.

I loved this book it is a must read for anyone who finds humor in relationships and one night stands. Chelsea just lays it all out there and doesn't hold back she says things and talks about topics others may blush to when talked about. This book is an easy read I read it in two days, I couldn't put it down. I give it 5 stars and also I recommend her other two books as well because they are even better. Her other two books are titled: Are You There Vodka? It's Me Chelsea Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang

About the author

Chelsea Handler was born in Livingston, New Jersey, and has toured the country doing stand-up. Now settled in Los Angeles, she can be seen at the Comedy Store and the Laugh Factory, and as one of the stars on Oxygen’s Girls Behaving Badly. Chelsea has guest-starred on programs such as Spy TV, My Wife and Kids, The Bernie Mac Show, and The Practice. Her stand-up will soon be televised on VH1’s Love Lounge, Comedy Central’s Premium Blend, and HBO’s broadcast of the Aspen Comedy Festival.