Sometimes it’s more about humiliation, red wine hangovers, and the bad decisions they fuel. Ruby Fitzgerald has barely worked in years, not that anyone remembers her for anything but her short stint on a long-canceled but iconic TV show. But that was back when her career prospects seemed on the upswing -- longer ago than Ruby cares to admit -- and awkward sex with regrettable partners is doing nothing to take the edge off. Everything once functional in her house is going on strike, but the unemployment checks barely cover the mortgage, and a self-respecting girl needs to be able to pay her bar tab -- so repairs are on hold. One more bubble bath and a few more cocktails. A gal can always get responsible tomorrow.
With everything mounting against her, a cranky and increasingly despairing Ruby will have to find out if her life’s larger indignities are the result of bad luck, or a chronically bad attitude. What follows is a walking tour of the hilarious depths you can sink to if you stop exercising your best judgment.
Noel Potter has a similar issue. He needs a new boyfriend to scare off his ex, but not just any boyfriend. He needs Stefan, an underwear model with all his buttock clenching, post-meal purging and obvious hatred for anyone not body beautiful. Like Joseph, Stefan doesn't exist.
Enter Daniel Bliss, a classically trained New York actor with one thing in mind: Becoming the next Robert De Niro. There is one small problem: No one will hire him. He is stuck performing bit-parts and acting as stand-ins.
But then Daniel comes up with a new business venture, one that pays handsomely and keeps him true to his aspirations of becoming a great actor: He starts acting in real-life roles, situations where a trained thespian can fill the void, becoming Joseph, Stefan and anything anyone is willing to pay for.
"Every actor should own this book."
Richard Montoya. Choreographer and Broadway Performer
The townsfolk once voted him the strangest man in Missouri, but he turned the honor down, claiming it was "just a popularity contest." He has baited hooks connected to the keys of an old typewriter by the side of the Mississippi, so the local fish can write poetry. He keeps stacks of old newspapers piled up to his bedroom ceiling, and he doesn't know why. They don't get much more eccentric than old Rollie Zerbs of LaPorte, Missouri. But he does have one thing going for him--a rare 1909 Chicago Cubs tobacco baseball card, one of the most valuable cards in existence. And even though he can't remember where he just put it, he's on his way to Chicago to see what the card will bring...
If the screenwriter’s story were to end on this moment, it would have a happy ending.
Alas, shit happens as it is wont to do and four years later, a storm is brewing over Hollywood. Cyber-attacks are decimating the studio system, exposing the secrets of everyone within it.
The screenwriter—now a disaffected entertainment news blogger—unwinds with a whiskey in Cabana after a day spent investigating the hacks.
That is, until Grace Chase—the girl from four years prior, now the star of television’s Vampire Queen—requests his help when she’s blackmailed with incriminating photos.
He’s reluctant to oblige. But Grace needs him and he’s powerless to deny her, embarking on an odyssey across Los Angeles that will have him questioning everything about the girl he once knew and the industry that’s defined his life.
Earth used to be Galaxy Entertainment's most lucrative show. The inhabitants of the Western Galaxy – the saviest, richest demographic in the Milky Way – just couldn't get enough of the day-to-day details of the average Earthling's life.
But Channel Blue's ratings are flagging and its producers are planning a spectacular finale. In just three weeks, their TV show will go out with a bang. The trouble is, so will Earth.
Only one man can save our planet and he's hardly a likely hero...
In the early 1980s, Mary Hall is a little girl growing up in poverty in Camden, New Jersey, with her older brother Jacob and parents who, in her words, were "great at making babies, but not so great at holding on to them." After her father leaves the family, she is raised among a commune of mothers in a low-income housing complex. Then, no longer able to care for the only daughter she has left at home, Mary's mother sends Mary away to Oklahoma to live with her maternal grandparents, who have also been raising her younger sister, Rebecca. When Mary is legally adopted by her grandparents, the result is a family story like no other. Because Mary was adopted by her grandparents, Mary’s mother, Peggy, is legally her sister, while her brother, Jacob, is legally her nephew.
Living in Oklahoma with her maternal grandfather, Mary gets a new name and a new life. But she's haunted by the past: by the baby girls she’s sure will come looking for her someday, by the mother she left behind, by the father who left her. Mary is a college student when her sisters start to get back in touch. With each subsequent reunion, her family becomes closer to whole again. Moving, haunting, and at times wickedly funny, Bastards is about finding one's family and oneself.