I Let Him Go: The heartbreaking book from the mother of James Bulger

Denise Fergus

Jan 2018 · Bonnier Publishing Ltd.

About this ebook

THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER, with an updated chapter from Denise.

'I was crying so much I couldn't breathe. The thought of leaving the shopping centre without him was crushing. I knew that walking away from the place where he had gone missing, without any idea where he now was, meant that things were really bad. James had been right by my side and then he was gone forever.'

On 12th February 1993, Denise Fergus' life changed forever. As she was running errands at New Strand Shopping Centre, she let go of her two-year-old son's hand for a few seconds to take out her purse.

Denise never saw her son again.

For the first time since that moment 25 years ago, Denise tells her extraordinary story in this heart-wrenching book, an unflinching account of that terrible day. What if she had never taken James shopping? What if she had turned right coming out of the butcher's, instead of left? Denise's initial hope after seeing her son on CCTV with other children quickly turned to devastation when, two days later, James' body was found.

His death reverberated around the world and his killers became the youngest ever convicted murderers in UK legal history. Four minutes is all it took for them to lead James away from his mother to his death. Denise took up a tortuous legal battle for James, and it was her astonishing strength and love for her son that ultimately helped to change the way the law treats victims of crime.

This is a mother's tale, of finding a way through the despair to remember the happiness and wonderful memories that James brought his family. Above all, Denise doesn't want her son to be remembered as a murdered child, and with this beautifully written book, she does just that.

Ratings and reviews

Utterly heartbreaking but such an amazing lesson to be learned from this book.... It is so wrong that the murderers are protected above and beyond the families of their victims .... The balance needs to be addressed. Denise and her family have suffered the very worst imaginable but the protection of those responsible have added to the families pain time and time again .... Venebles and Thompson families are living new lives free from scrutiny. I remember the day he disappeared like yesterday and watched it unfold to its heartbreaking conclusion... The name James Bulger will forever be remembered as a beautiful boy but the horror of his death will also be his legacy and that in itself is heartbreaking.. I hope those responsible some day get the right justice

One word Heartbreaking!!! My heart goes out to Denise and her family, I think they have all coped with this devastating situation brilliantly, I don't think I could have got threw it. Them two monsters that did that to baby James should never have seen the light of day again, to rub salt into the wounds are still offending and getting away with it, I hope one day Denise and her family get the justice they and baby James deserves, I'm around the same age as them two monsters, I was still playing with toys at their age, how two ten year olds could go out and commit a crime so horrendous and cruel i just cannot get my head around it still all these year's later. Truly heartbreaking Denise, baby James and her family are always in my thoughts and prays. I hope justice for yous all is not far away. I had to put the book down many times as I was so upset, I also still cannot believe them two monsters got lifelong anonymity and James family got nothing, there is something seriously wrong with our justice system. Godbless you all xxx

I was only a little girl when james was murdered :( but still followed denise fight for all these years. I am now a mum too and often tell my kiddies abt the dangers of strangers through james's story. Ur son lives on in thousands of mothers minds and as proberly helped to save so many other kiddies from stranger danger. My heart thoughts n prayers are always with u n ur family ♡ rip james x

About the author

Denise Fergus is the mother of James Bulger who was murdered in 1993 in a series of events that shocked the world. Denise lives with her three sons and her second husband, Stuart. In 2010, Denise launched the James Bulger Memorial Trust, which supports young victims of crime, hatred and bullying. In January 2017, Denise was given the British Citizen Award for her tireless work helping other families through situations similar to her own.