Why Mummy Swears

Gill Sims

Jul 2018 · HarperCollins

About this ebook

The hilarious second novel, and Sunday Times No 1 Bestseller, from author of the smash hit Why Mummy Drinks.

Monday, 25 July
The first day of the holidays. I suppose it could’ve been worse. I brightly announced that perhaps it might be a lovely idea to go to a stately home and learn about some history. As soon as we got there I remembered why I don’t use the flipping National Trust membership – because National Trust properties are full of very precious and breakable items, and very precious and breakable items don’t really mix with children, especially not small boys.
Where I had envisaged childish faces glowing with wonder as they took in the treasures of our nation’s illustrious past, we instead had me shouting ‘Don’t touch, DON’T TOUCH, FFS DON’T TOUCH!” while stoutly shod pensioners tutted disapprovingly and drafted angry letters to the Daily Mail in their heads.
How many more days of the holiday are there?

Welcome to Mummy’s world...
The Boy Child Peter is connected to his iPad by an umbilical cord, The Girl Child Jane is desperate to make her fortune as an Instagram lifestyle influencer, while Daddy is constantly off on exotic business trips...
Mummy’s marriage is feeling the strain, her kids are running wild and the house is steadily developing a forest of mould. Only Judgy, the Proud and Noble Terrier, remains loyal as always.
Mummy has also found herself a new challenge, working for a hot new tech start-up. But not only is she worrying if, at forty-two, she could actually get up off a bean bag with dignity, she’s also somehow (accidentally) rebranded herself as a single party girl who works hard, plays hard and doesn’t have to run out when the nanny calls in sick.
Can Mummy keep up the facade while keeping her family afloat? Can she really get away with wearing ‘comfy trousers’ to work? And, more importantly, can she find the time to pour herself a large G+T?
Probably effing not.

Ratings and reviews

Another amusing read in this series from Gill Sims! A few years have gone by since ‘Why Mummy Drinks’; the children are a little more grown up – but still as honest and funny as ever – and the grown-ups are still struggling to parent. Between a new job, a husband who thinks the magic fairy organises everything and two demanding children, it’s no wonder Mummy swears (and drinks)! This is a funny take on family life; the couple portrayed are quite well off but their problems are still those of most families. I didn’t find it quite as hysterical as the first novel and I’m not sure I’ll ever get round to reading the third in series (and I see there is a fourth in the pipeline) but it is an entertaining read which will allow most women to nod their heads in agreement. If you’re in the doldrums about working and caring for a family and feeling, as a wife, that you are doing it all on your own, then this will certainly make you realise you’re not alone. The highlight, as always, is the antics of Peter and Jane. Four stars.

Witty well written and all round brilliant. Thank you from a fellow tired multi tasking mam.

Love love love it. Loved the first book...this is just as great!

About the author

Gill Sims is the author of the hugely successful parenting blog and Facebook site ‘Peter and Jane’. Her first book Why Mummy Drinks was the bestselling hardback fiction debut of 2017, spending over six months in the top ten of the Sunday Times Bestseller Charts, and was shortlisted for Debut Novel of the Year in the British Book Awards. Her globally bestselling Why Mummy series has now sold over a quarter of a million copies.
She lives in Scotland with her husband, two children and two Border terriers, because apparently one terrier didn’t cause her enough trouble.
Gill’s interests include drinking wine, wasting time on social media, trying and failing to capture her lost youth, and looking for one of the dogs when he decides to go on one of his regular jaunts, while trying to stop the other one eating unspeakable things.