Hauling Ash
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When the spirit of his recently deceased uncle appears in his kitchen, lonely mortician Octavious Waldorf can only guess the ghost isnโt there just for the coffee. His miserly uncle reveals the location of a hidden fortune with the promise of more if Otto will spread the dead manโs ashes across the Caribbean Sea. Through a simple mistake Otto ends up with almost a million of the mafiaโs money instead of his uncleโs simple few thousand. Otto does what any desperate man would do and flees the country aboard a cruise ship headed to the Bahamas to fulfill his uncleโs last request. With the money, his dead uncleโs ashes, and a nervous schnauzer in tow, Otto sets out to change his fortune and life.
That near million just so happens to belong to crime boss and all around bad guy Tony โWaldorfโ Maloney (no relation), who happens to be on the same cruise. Maloney isnโt interested in just getting the money back. Along with the help of the much feared hired hit man Mr. Banjo, as well as the blonde bombshell Penny Lane, Maloney plans on squeezing the money as well as a few vital juices from Ottoโs cold, dead corpse.
On the other end of the law, the FBI is hot on Maloneyโs tail. Special Agents Frank Wallace and Larry Lawrence arenโt sure who this Otto guy is, or how he fits into Maloneyโs organization, but they donโt plan on letting either of them get away. Maybe itโs time for the nearly retired Frank to take a much needed cruise to the Bahamas.ย Itโs a comedy noir of hilarious errors as Otto learns that sometimes money does buy happiness.
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Tonia Brown is a Southern author with a penchant for Victorian dead things. She has penned a number of undead comedies, including the hilarious Badass Zombie Road Trip.ย Tonia lives in the backwoods of North Carolina with her genius husband and an ever fluctuating number of cats. She likes fudgesicles and coffee, though not always together. When not writing she raises unicorns and fights crime with her husband under the code names Dr. Weird and his sexy sidekick Butternut.ย You can learn more about her at: www.thebackseatwriter.comย
