I Let Him Go: The heartbreaking book from the mother of James Bulger

Denise Fergus

Jan 2018 · Bonnier Publishing Ltd.

About this ebook

THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER, with an updated chapter from Denise.

'I was crying so much I couldn't breathe. The thought of leaving the shopping centre without him was crushing. I knew that walking away from the place where he had gone missing, without any idea where he now was, meant that things were really bad. James had been right by my side and then he was gone forever.'

On 12th February 1993, Denise Fergus' life changed forever. As she was running errands at New Strand Shopping Centre, she let go of her two-year-old son's hand for a few seconds to take out her purse.

Denise never saw her son again.

For the first time since that moment 25 years ago, Denise tells her extraordinary story in this heart-wrenching book, an unflinching account of that terrible day. What if she had never taken James shopping? What if she had turned right coming out of the butcher's, instead of left? Denise's initial hope after seeing her son on CCTV with other children quickly turned to devastation when, two days later, James' body was found.

His death reverberated around the world and his killers became the youngest ever convicted murderers in UK legal history. Four minutes is all it took for them to lead James away from his mother to his death. Denise took up a tortuous legal battle for James, and it was her astonishing strength and love for her son that ultimately helped to change the way the law treats victims of crime.

This is a mother's tale, of finding a way through the despair to remember the happiness and wonderful memories that James brought his family. Above all, Denise doesn't want her son to be remembered as a murdered child, and with this beautifully written book, she does just that.

Ratings and reviews

Like a previous reader's review; I couldn't put the book down. Thank you Denise for sharing with us the story of James, and how his death impacted on your life. I remember seeing the news, at the time I was only 11 myself and couldn't comprehend what two 10 year old boys had done. I am SO happy that you managed to rebuild some sort of a life for yourself after all you went through. Sending my love xxx

I've never truly known what happened, as I am the same age as James. I knew it would be a tough read but did not expect such emotions from reading this. What a story. Heartbreaking and so raw. Powerfully written. I am in awe of the courage and strength by Denise and family.

After reading this book it gave me great insight into the struggles Denise faced not only with the broken legal system but with her fight for her mental health. Denise is an amazing woman and reading her first hand account of what happened had me crying throughout the entire read. How she is standing on her own two legs after everything she's endured is really inspiring and not only shows how strong she is but how strong all women can be and are. This book is written so well. My only issue is I can't give it more stars on the rating! Keep fighting the good fight Denise❤️

About the author

Denise Fergus is the mother of James Bulger who was murdered in 1993 in a series of events that shocked the world. Denise lives with her three sons and her second husband, Stuart. In 2010, Denise launched the James Bulger Memorial Trust, which supports young victims of crime, hatred and bullying. In January 2017, Denise was given the British Citizen Award for her tireless work helping other families through situations similar to her own.