Bite Me:: A parrot, a family, and a whole lot of flesh wounds

Jenny Gardiner Books
Free sample

 **Author's note: Dear readers: this is a reissue of my memoir "Winging It: A Memoir of Caring for a Vengeful Parrot Who's Determined to Kill Me". I have always wanted to offer the digital version of this book at an affordable rate and have finally gotten the rights back to my book to do so. With this I changed the title and the cover. Hope you enjoy! 


A gift from an overseas relative, Graycie, an African Grey parrot, arrives in the Gardiner home not long after the birth of their first child, adding the responsibilities of parrot-hood to their newfound parenthood. Jenny Gardiner and her husband were hoping for a docile, beautifully plumed, Polly-want-a-cracker type of companion—but patchily feathered, scrawny, ill-tempered Graycie was the furthest thing from what they envisioned.. 

In Winging It , Gardiner shares in vivid and hilarious detail the many hazards of parrot ownership, from endless avian latrine duty to discovering the multiple ways a beak can pierce human flesh. Whether she’s swearing at the dog, mimicking the sound of the smoke alarm, or bobbing to the beat of the kids clapping for her amusement, she brings the family joy, laughter, and, sometimes, tears. So why would the Gardiners subject themselves to the crazy behavior of this parrot for so long? Well, because, as the Gardiners realize, Graycie is a part of the family, and just like in any relationship between living creatures, things do not always go according to plan.. 

A mix of hilarious pet hijinks and a poignant story of family commitment, Winging It is a reminder of the importance of patience, loyalty, and humor when it comes to dealing with even the most temperamental members of the family.

Keywords: Memoir, pets, parrots, African Grey, family issues, women, marriage

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About the author

 Jenny Gardiner is an award-winning #1 Kindle bestselling author who has published twelve novels, a memoir, and a collection of essays. Her work has been found in Ladies Home Journal, the Washington Post, Marie-Claire.com, and on National Public Radio. She’s the volunteer coordinator for the Virginia Film Festival. She has worked as a publicist for a United States senator, and as a freelance photographer, photographing such notable public figures as Prince Charles, Elizabeth Taylor, and the President of Uganda. She also serves as the volunteer coordinator for the Virginia Film Festival for five years. 

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Additional Information

Publisher
Jenny Gardiner Books
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Published on
Mar 16, 2010
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Pages
155
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Language
English
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Genres
Biography & Autobiography / Personal Memoirs
Family & Relationships / Activities
Family & Relationships / Marriage & Long Term Relationships
Humor / Topic / Marriage & Family
Pets / Birds
Pets / Essays & Narratives
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Content Protection
This content is DRM free.
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Read Aloud
Available on Android devices
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It's all fun and royal games until somebody's heart gets hurt 

In his line of work, royal heir Darcy Squires-Thornton has always been content playing second fiddle to close friend Prince Adrian, and happy, too, with whatever brief romantic encounters come his way. Especially one with carefree Caroline McKenzie, whose best friend is engaged to the prince. Fun-loving Caroline McKenzie's motto has always been "love the one you're with". But when the one she's no longer with is the one with whom she's fallen in love, what's a girl an ocean away to do? 

What people are saying about Jenny Gardiner's books: 

"A fun, sassy read! A cross between Erma Bombeck and Candace Bushnell, reading Jenny Gardiner is like sinking your teeth into a chocolate cupcake…you just want more." 
--Meg Cabot, NY Times bestselling author of Princess Diaries, Queen of Babble and more, on Sleeping with Ward Cleaver 

"As Sweet as a song and sharp as a beak, Bite Me really soars as a memoir about family--children and husbands, feathers and fur--and our capacity to keep loving though life may occasionally bite." 
--Wade Rouse, bestselling author of At Least in the City Someone Would Hear Me Scream 

"With a strong yet delightfully vulnerable voice, food critic Abbie Jennings embarks on a soulful journey where her love for banana cream pie and disdain for ill-fitting Spanx clash in hilarious and heartbreaking ways. As her body balloons and her personal life crumbles, Abbie must face the pain and secret fears she's held inside for far too long. I cheered for her the entire way." 
--Beth Hoffman, NY Times bestselling author of Saving CeeCee Honeycutt on Slim to None 

"Jenny Gardiner has done it again--this fun, fast-paced book is a great summer read." 
--Sarah Pekkanen, NY Times bestselling author of The Opposite of Me, on Slim to None

Keywords: romantic comedy, humor, contemporary romance, modern fairy tale, new adult, Royalty, nobility, prince, aristocrat, , heir, peerage, monarch, Europe, wealthy, Playboy, rich, millionaire, international, vacation, romance, love, chick lit, chicklit, series, wedding, marriage

Sometimes you can let your heir down a little too much… 

When wild-child Prince Alexander goes on a naked bender in a Vegas swimming pool, cocktail waitress Andi McDonough decides to preserve a shot of those family jewels on her phone. But when she’s fired for capturing the royal treasures, she heads off to find herself. After backpacking the world-over on a dime and a prayer, she finds herself in Rome, where a chance encounter with the wayward prince only reinforces to her that Prince Zander is indeed bad to the throne. And more than likely to her fragile heart as well.

What people are saying about Jenny Gardiner's books: 

"A fun, sassy read! A cross between Erma Bombeck and Candace Bushnell, reading Jenny Gardiner is like sinking your teeth into a chocolate cupcake…you just want more." 
--Meg Cabot, NY Times bestselling author of Princess Diaries, Queen of Babble and more, on Sleeping with Ward Cleaver 

"As Sweet as a song and sharp as a beak, Bite Me really soars as a memoir about family--children and husbands, feathers and fur--and our capacity to keep loving though life may occasionally bite." 
--Wade Rouse, bestselling author of At Least in the City Someone Would Hear Me Scream 

"With a strong yet delightfully vulnerable voice, food critic Abbie Jennings embarks on a soulful journey where her love for banana cream pie and disdain for ill-fitting Spanx clash in hilarious and heartbreaking ways. As her body balloons and her personal life crumbles, Abbie must face the pain and secret fears she's held inside for far too long. I cheered for her the entire way." 
--Beth Hoffman, NY Times bestselling author of Saving CeeCee Honeycutt on Slim to None 

"Jenny Gardiner has done it again--this fun, fast-paced book is a great summer read." 
--Sarah Pekkanen, NY Times bestselling author of The Opposite of Me, on Slim to None

Keywords: romantic comedy, humor, contemporary romance, modern fairy tale, new adult, Royalty, nobility, prince, aristocrat, , heir, peerage, monarch, Europe, wealthy, Playboy, rich, millionaire, international, vacation, romance, love, chick lit, chicklit, series, wedding, marriage


From one of the most respected figures in the dog rescue community come the harrowing, funny, and inspiring stories of nine incredible dogs that shaped her life.

Tia Torres, beloved underdog advocate and star of Animal Planet's hit show Pit Bulls & Parolees, chronicles her roller-coaster life in this heartwarming memoir featuring some of her best-loved dogs. With inimitable honesty and characteristic brashness, Tia captures the spirit and heart of these intelligent and loving canines, while carrying us behind the scenes of her TV show, into the heart of post-Katrina New Orleans, onto the soundstages of Hollywood films, and even to the jungles of Sri Lanka.

Tia has devoted her life to shattering the stereotype that pit bulls are dangerous, vicious predators. As the top dog at the Villalobos Rescue Center in New Orleans, the largest pit bull rescue in the United States, she and her team have rescued, rehabilitated, and rehomed hundreds of animals that might otherwise have been destroyed. As she puts it, "Most of the stories in this book are about animals (and a few humans) that needed someone to believe in them and a purpose in order to show their true nobility."

Each dog Tia writes about here has overcome abuse, trauma, neglect, or just bad luck to become a stalwart, loving companion to Tia and her family. You'll meet Duke, whose intelligence and matinee-idol looks made him a star in movies and music videos; Junkyard Joe, whose single-minded passion for tennis balls was channeled into expertise as a drug-sniffing dog; Bluie, the unswerving protector of Tia's daughter Tania; and a host of other unforgettable canines.

My Life Among the Underdogs is above all a love story--one that is sure to grip the heart of anyone who has ever loved a dog.

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