If you give a kid a cookie, will he shut the fuck up? That is the question at the heart of this hilarious, deeply honest, profanity-laced book for parents who will do whatever it takes for a moment's peace. What really happens when you give in to your child's tantrums? The events that follow this seemingly simple act will test parents to the breaking point...while entertaining the millions of us who have been there ourselves (and lived to tell). Also a cautionary and instructive tale for new parents, If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F**k Up? is a must-have for every family library collection. Just keep it on the top shelf.
And there's a strange man in her kitchen.
Sure, this has happened to Stephanie Plum before. Strangers, weirdos, felons, creeps, and lunatics are always finding their way to her front door. But this guy is different. This guy is mysterious, sexy-and he has his own agenda. His name is Diesel and he is a man on a mission. And Diesel is unlike anyone Stephanie has ever met before in her life. The question is, what does he want with her? Can he help her find a little old toy maker who has skipped out on his bail right before Christmas? Can he survive the Plum family holiday dinner? Can he get Stephanie a tree that doesn't look like it was grown next to a nuclear power plant? These questions and more are keeping Stephanie awake at night. Not to mention the fact that she needs to find a bunch of nasty elves, her sister Valerie has a Christmas "surprise" for the Plums, her niece Mary Alice doesn't believe in Santa anymore, and Grandma Mazur has a new stud muffin. So bring out the plastic reindeer, strap on your jingle bells, and get ready to celebrate the holidays-Jersey style. In Janet Evanovich's Visions of Sugar Plums, the world of Plum has never been merrier!