It’s Not Me, It’s You!: Impossible perfectionist, 27, seeks very very very tidy woman

Jon Richardson

Jun 2011 · Sold by HarperCollins UK

About this ebook

‘I loved Jon’s book. It’s even better than the real thing because you can’t hear his voice.’ Michael McIntyre

A control freak looks for love (women who leave wet teaspoons in sugar bowls need not apply).

‘I haven’t woken up with a cup of tea by the bed for seven years. It seems such a small thing but it’s one of a thousand things I miss about having someone around to take care of me. I have spent my entire adult life getting things the way I want them and all I want now is someone to give it all up for.’

Is your filing faultless? Your CDs, apostrophes, cutlery all in the right places? Can you eat a biscuit in the correct way? Then Jon Richardson (single for seven years and counting) could be your ideal man...

Living alone in a one bedroom flat in Swindon, Jon has had far too much time on his hands to think. In fact to obsess. About almost everything. Jon’s obssessive compulsive personality disorder has seen him arrange the coins in his pockets in ascending size and colour code his bookshelves. It takes him less than 90 seconds to locate a receipt for a pair of shoes he bought in 1997. Over to the filing cabinet and R for receipts, S for shoes.

But Jon doesn’t want to be like this, in fact he would quite like to share his life with someone. But who could that someone be? Someone like himself, a quarrelsome perfectionist only with breasts and less body hair? Absolutely not. But who exactly is Jon looking for and where will he find her? Faced with a loveless future filled with his own peculiar quirks and perfectionism, Jon sets about his search for The One. The question is, will he mind her keeping the knives to the left of the forks in the cutlery drawer or organising the CDs by genre and not alphabetically?

Ratings and reviews

Made me laugh out loud on the bus which I make a conscious effort to not do. I didn't think someone so cynical could also be so entertaining!

So, the description of this book is 304 pages. It's actually 136, plus all the filler. What the heck!

Kinda pointless having a free sample that only lets you see as far as the "contents" page but none of the actual text. Cant very well judge whether or not to buy it on so little.

About the author

Jon Richardson is a 28-year-old stand up comedian from Lancaster. His first solo Edinburgh show, concerning his OCD tendencies, was nominated for the Best Newcomer award at the 2007 Edinburgh Festival. His 2009 show about his resulting perfectionsim was nominated in the Best Show category. He lives in Swindon.