Lies and Broken Promises - A Tale of Addiction

Alan B. Bradley

เม.ย. 2012 · Smashwords

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Alan B. Bradley's true story chronicles a long downward spiral enflamed by a deprived childhood, sexual molestation, emotional problems, drug and alcohol addictions, and county and state prisons. Part of the story involves his struggle with sexual identity. He was sexually molested at a very young age by a much older male friend of his family. The molestation continued for a number of years. Also, the molestation introduced him to sexual activity at a very early age and he had multiple prepubescent sexual encounters with male friends. These experiences left him quite confused about his sexuality. His early sexual experiences encouraged him to have further male-male sexual experiences as a teenager and a young adult. An accurate sense of sexual identity was nonexistent until he was well into his adult years.Alan's first experience with getting high occurred at 14 years of age. He only consumed a couple of beers, but it was a turning point in his life. His focus from that time on was on getting high. He had always had thoughts of drinking alcohol or using drugs even before this experience, but once he felt the effects of being high, it was like a light went on inside of his head and most of his time and efforts were devoted to acquiring alcohol and drugs.

Alan's drug addiction was at its worst from his middle teens to his early twenties. He spent those years as a methamphetamine (speed) addict getting arrested a total of 13 times. Alan had a huge appetite for drugs and this story documents the impulsive and reprehensible nature of his behavior while he was under the addictive tentacles of amphetamines, methamphetamine and other drugs. He was a full blown speed freak injecting crystal methamphetamine at every opportunity. His life was a whirlwind of sex with men and women, drugs of all types, and local and county jails. His struggles with his sexuality continued through most of his life with a number of gay sexual experiences in prison.

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Most of my biographical information can be found in my memoirs "Lies and Broken Promises - A Tale of Addiction" and "Lies and Broken Promises - A tale of Alcoholism".  I did not do very well in grade school or high school, but in my late 20's I earned my high school GED and immediately started on my bachelor's and then my master's degrees at Montclair State University in Montclair, New Jersey.  I earned highest honors with a 3.85 grade point average for my bachelor's degree and 4.00 for my master's degree.  For the master's program I concentrated on Experimental Psychology.  I eventually wanted to get into a Ph.D. program and become a professor in that field.

I went on to enroll in a three year doctoral program in Experimental Psychology at Fordham University.  That was a wake-up call for me since I am an atheist and Fordham is a Catholic University where half the courses are taught by priests.  I was also accepted into a program at Kentucky State University with a fellowship good for tuition and $4,000 in each of the 3 years in the program.  I turned the fellowship down because I was involved with someone and did not want to end the relationship by moving to Kentucky for three years.  I hoped to concentrate on statistics and Physiological and Experimental Psychology.  I thought that would prepare me for a good career as a professor and researcher.  However, a motorcycle accident ended my short stint in the Ph.D. program at Fordham.  I have no lingering problems from the accident, but after 8 months on pain pills, I couldn't psych myself up to get back into doctoral level college work.  Eight months on pain pills was not an ideal situation for an addict/alcoholic like myself.  When I knew a Ph.D. was not in my future, I immediately looked for work in the computer field which ultimately became quite rewarding for me.

I always wanted to write since way back in grammar school.  I never had the time or the attention span to sit down and do any serious writing until a couple of years ago.  My alcoholism and addictions did not help my situation.  I hope to focus over the next few years on more writing and to try my hand at fiction.