The Earth is doomed. A sinister alien race, disguised as giant rotary phones, is planning to blow up the world and sell whatever is left as collectibles!
It’s up to our hero Lenny and his team of paranormal investigators – a ghost hunter, a psychic, a vampire, a werevole, and a pooka named Bob -- to save the day. They must survive Yetis, vampire brides, a robot swami, and being shot into the depths of space. But they must succeed, or Earth will be no more!
After all, the firm Lenny and the others work for is Terrifitemps, the temporary employment agency that secretly controls the world. And with the aid of a legendary hero from the agency’s past, our heroes must turn back the alien threat and make our planet safe again.
But can they do it in time? Or will they be a team without a planet to call their own?
tags: humorous fantasy, vampire, ghost hunters, psychics, werevole, monsters, magic
“Gardner skewers all the clichés of quest-fantasy with wit, style, mordant irony and great glee.” -- Spider Robinson, author of Callahan’s Crosstime Saloon.
“The field needs more humorists of this caliber.” – Robert Aspirin, author of ANOTHER FINE MYTH.
“Awfully silly!” -- LOCUS
But it's worth it, right? Hasn't Lenny always wanted to save the world?
It's Nessy's duty to tend this castle. It's a lot of work, but she manages, taking pride in housekeeping talents that keep the castle from collapsing into chaos. But when Margle suddenly dies, everything begins to unravel. Nessy finds herself surrounded by monsters, curses, a door that should never be opened, and one very deadly dark wizardess.
Nessy doesn't have might or magic on her side; she's just a kobold: short, furry, and sensible. Her allies aren't much better: a voice without a body, an angry fruit bat, a monster under her bed, a wizard in a jar (or some of him, anyway), and a one-eyed, one-horned, flying, purple, people eater. It would be smarter to walk away, but taking care of the castle is Nessy's job, and that's just what she intends to do.
If only she could find time to polish the silver while beating back the forces of darkness.
At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
While Andy deals with the outside world, more than a hundred other souls share an imaginary house inside Andy's head, struggling to maintain an orderly coexistence: Aaron, the father figure; Adam, the mischievous teenager; Jake, the frightened little boy; Aunt Sam, the artist; Seferis, the defender; and Gideon, who wants to get rid of Andy and the others and run things on his own.
Andy's new coworker, Penny Driver, is also a multiple personality, a fact that Penny is only partially aware of. When several of Penny's other souls ask Andy for help, Andy reluctantly agrees, setting in motion a chain of events that threatens to destroy the stability of the house. Now Andy and Penny must work together to uncover a terrible secret that Andy has been keeping . . . from himself.
Shadow dreamed of nothing but leaving prison and starting a new life. But the day before his release, his wife and best friend are killed in an accident. On the plane home to the funeral, he meets Mr. Wednesday—a beguiling stranger who seems to know everything about him. A trickster and rogue, Mr. Wednesday offers Shadow a job as his bodyguard. With nowhere left to go, Shadow accepts, and soon learns that his role in Mr. Wednesday’s schemes will be far more dangerous and dark than he could have ever imagined. For beneath the placid surface of everyday life a war is being fought —and the prize is the very soul of America.
11/9/2001: Christian fundamentalists hijack four jetliners. They fly two into the Tigris & Euphrates World Trade Towers in Baghdad, and a third into the Arab Defense Ministry in Riyadh. The fourth plane, believed to be bound for Mecca, is brought down by its passengers.
The United Arab States declares a War on Terror. Arabian and Persian troops invade the Eastern Seaboard and establish a Green Zone in Washington, D.C. . . .
Summer, 2009: Arab Homeland Security agent Mustafa al Baghdadi interrogates a captured suicide bomber. The prisoner claims that the world they are living in is a mirage—in the real world, America is a superpower, and the Arab states are just a collection of "backward third-world countries." A search of the bomber's apartment turns up a copy of The New York Times, dated September 12, 2001, that appears to support his claim. Other captured terrorists have been telling the same story. The president wants answers, but Mustafa soon discovers he's not the only interested party.
The gangster Saddam Hussein is conducting his own investigation. And the head of the Senate Intelligence Committee—a war hero named Osama bin Laden—will stop at nothing to hide the truth. As Mustafa and his colleagues venture deeper into the unsettling world of terrorism, politics, and espionage, they are confronted with questions without any rational answers, and the terrifying possibility that their world is not what it seems.
Acclaimed novelist Matt Ruff has created a shadow world that is eerily recognizable but, at the same time, almost unimaginable. Gripping, subversive, and unexpectedly moving, The Mirage probes our deepest convictions and most arresting fears.