Near Death by a Thousand Cuts: A Humorous Memoir of Misfortune

Andrew Butters

Apr 2023 · Potato Chip Math Creations

About this eBook

Pregnant and dealing with a bout of morning sickness, Andrew Butters' soon-to-be mom handed the keys to her car to her husband and asked him to start it up. He cranked the engine and released the clutch, not realizing it was still in gear. The car lurched forward, striking her in the caboose and launching her into the ditch. Thus began her unborn son's adventures in misfortune.

Told in the style of a friend at the pub recounting a tall tale that begins, "Have I told you about the time...," Near Death by a Thousand Cuts takes you on a wild and crazy forty-eight-year journey filled with accidents, injuries, and medical procedures guaranteed to make you simultaneously wince and laugh to the point of tears.

"I hope Andrew wrote this book from a soft chair in a padded room wearing a Nerf suit."

   ―Dave Hemstad, Comedian (Just For Laughs, CBC's The Debaters)

About the author

Andrew Butters is a married father of two living in New Brunswick, Canada and he will tell you that his first published work was Losing Vern as part of the Orange Karen: A Tribute to a Warrior anthology. In reality, it was a 500-word anecdote about the time he lit himself on fire. That story made it into the third instalment of the Darwin Awards books. He writes, creates, eats snacks, blogs, toils over his next novel, creates videos, and is a huge fan of golf, hockey, science, EQUALITY, and the Oxford comma. Andrew sometimes lets his love of attention override common sense. You can find evidence of this pretty much anywhere you can find Andrew. http://potatochipmath.com