In this darkly funny coming-of-age novel based on true events, Oliver, a hacker living in Germany, meets Donna online. She's an American girl living in New York. After chatting and talking on the phone for months, he finally decides to surprise her with a visit. But he soon finds out that things are not what they appeared to be, and that this visit will change his life forever.
"This generation's version of Catcher in the Rye. I kid you not. It's that good."
★★★★★ - Ray Simmons, Readers' Favorite
Oliver Markus Malloy is a German-American novelist and comic artist. Born and raised in Aachen, Germany, he currently lives in Los Angeles, CA.
Malloy began his writing career in the early 1990s, as editor-in-chief of a computer magazine with a monthly circulation of over 500,000, which was distributed by Germany's largest publishing house. After moving to New York, he was the art director for a newspaper in Manhattan, and later the production manager for a newspaper in Brooklyn, before he began self-publishing his cartoons online in May 2000. He has never had another 9-5 job since.
His bestselling trilogy, Bad Choices Make Good Stories, has been downloaded over 100,000 times on Amazon, Apple Books, Google Books, and Kobo.
Oliver moves from New York to Florida. Battling with depression, he gets sucked into the seedy underworld of Fort Myers, where he encounters a number of female drug addicts. He empathizes with them because of his own traumatic past. Oliver feels compelled to try to help them escape the addict lifestyle, but learns the hard way that he is in way over his head.
"A truly fascinating and unexpected look at the darker side of addiction."
★★★★★ - A. Allyson, Goodreads
After writing a book about his bizarre adventures in America's underbelly, Oliver finally finds love among his readers on Goodreads.
"I think it will become a standard for people who are dealing with loved ones dealing with addictions."
★★★★★ - B. Bridges, Amazon Review
You're a little late to the party. Where the hell have you been? This is already the third and final part of the trilogy, and you're only joining us now? Tsk tsk tsk.
Let me get you up to speed on what you've missed so far:
In book one, Going to New York, you missed the utterly fascinating, nay spellbinding saga of me growing up in Germany and later emigrating to New York. I was a brooding, troubled teenage hacker. Wow! Good stuff! It's almost like my life was the perfect kind of crazy to make a really awesome book!
Anyway, being a teenage hacker came in handy later in life. I went from rags to riches thanks to my keen understanding of technology and how to use the web to my advantage.
In New York I was married to Donna, a girl I had met online. She was an agoraphobic, prone to temper tantrums. And fun was had by all, which led to a divorce 16 years later. That's where the story gets really interesting.
I began dating. It didn't go well. I was no good at it. OK, truth be told, I was really bad at it. Apparently I had terrible taste in women. A heroin-addicted hooker named Alice broke my heart and robbed me of my will to live. Doesn't sound very fun, does it? But it's a fun read, I promise. Dark, but fun. Mesmerizing even!
Brokenhearted, I moved from New York to Florida. That's where the first book ends.
The second book you missed (I'm not mad at you. I'm just disappointed.) is called The Heroin Scene in Fort Myers, which is a very fitting title, believe me.
Sometimes I'm a slow learner, so I dated my way through the heroin scene in Florida, and I couldn't figure out for years why I wasn't finding any wife material. But oh how I tried. And tried. In all the wrong places. Pretty sad. I'm not proud of it.
After years of sad pathetic sex with heroin addicts I was a wreck. My younger self wouldn't have even recognized me. Lucy and Veronica had turned me into a broken, humiliated shell of a man. My heart had been ripped out of my chest so many times, it was a miracle I hadn't killed myself yet. (Seriously, it's a fun read. I promise!)
At the end of the book I had it up to here with heroin addicts. I told myself never again would I let myself be sucked in by the sweet lies of manipulative, fake love. The name of the final chapter was NO MO HO. No more whores. I needed to change my life before my life was going to kill me.
I hopped on a plane, back to my native Germany, to lick my wounds and heal before returning to America. That's where the second book ended.
And now, for our third and final act...
Fifteen world leaders, including Mr. Ronald Chump, Ms. Markella Angels, Ms. Maya Therese and Mr. Veniamin Yutin, land in Beirut to negotiate splitting the refugees among their nations.
Two days into a deadlocked meeting - the Japanese President is found dead. Prime Minister Judeaux is accused. No one believes it one bit. He's the Canadian one.
The tales include:
* The Gloucestershire Horse Club, Who posed Naked for a Charity Calendar.
* Phillip, who talked only in Management Speak
* Myfanwy, Who answered an Email from a Nigerian Bank Manager
* and Fiona and Dave, who had a Wacky Wedding
Sparklingly wicked and cunningly illustrated, this is a hilarious Struwelpeter for the twenty-first century.
Still Weird, Wilson's first major collection, includes selections from the whole body of his work, plus 100 brand-new cartoons and 100 more that have never before been published in book form.
At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
Welcome to A-Time, not another dimension, not a parallel world, but your very own neighborhood bereft of linear time! Here, past, present and future merge like expressway off-ramps. Here, bestial six legged Quirks can alter the future, Glitches of powerful emotion swarm once-stable lives, and Archetypes leave (big) footprints.
THIS ISSUE: "Jokerman" - With Tippicks brain turned to mush, Harry finds himself committed to an asylum, but that doesn't stop his visions of presidential assassinations pass. It doesn't even stop a visit from a major Archetype, the Trickster, who takes Harry on a laugh filled journey into the personal tragedy that made him who he is, but now threatens to destroy him.
A Caliber Comics release.
Join Oliver on his epic road trip from New York to California, as he almost gets blown up in the Sears Tower in Chicago, almost gets bitten by a rattlesnake in Colorado, almost gets eaten by a mountain lion in the Rocky Mountains, almost dies in a sand storm in Death Valley, almost gets killed by a sea elephant in California, almost gets arrested by a Park Ranger on Route 1, almost gets abducted by aliens in Yosemite National Park, almost gets disappeared by the US military, almost has sex with a hooker in Reno, and almost crashes in a helicopter.
Does a loved one in your family wear a red MAGA dunce cap at the Thanksgiving dinner table?
Have you tried to explain to them how embarrassingly dumb their uninformed opinions are, but their eyes just glaze over, and they have no freakin' clue what you're talking about, because they never heard none-o-that on Fox News?
Is your clueless country cousin impervious to rational arguments, because he has no historic context for anything ever, and he knows absolutely nothing beyond the daily Fox News talking points?
You can now get them the help they need. Get them this book.
This book is an intervention. This book is the snap-out-of-it-you-idiot slap in the face your friend or family member needs to overcome their addiction to stupid.
It's like the truth pill in The Matrix. No, it's a truth bomb! It will blow their minds. It explains important facts they have never heard of in a way that even a god-damn child could understand. With lots of cursing, to keep their attention.
If this short little book doesn't make them see the light, nothing will. Nothing. God help us all. America can't take much more of this dumpster fire.