Goddamned Freaky Monsters: The Tome of Bill, book 5
About this ebook
Three months have passed since the fateful encounter in New York City that ended with the disappearance of Bill Ryder - gamer, geek, and legendary vampire. Now he’s back - reawakened halfway across the globe with no allies, clothing, or clue as to how he got there. The only thing he’s certain of is that his captors plan to use him for their own nefarious ends and don’t care how much blood they spill in the process.
Escape might be the least of his worries, though. Civilization teeters on the brink of chaos. Mythical beasts, once thought the stuff of fantasy, are breaking through the veil, intent on waging war against mankind. At their forefront stands an ancient evil, the last remnant of a people thought long dead, and it’s about to cut a swath of destruction through the world not seen since biblical times.
Bill’s only chance is to reclaim his life, reconcile with his friends, and muster every bit of attitude he can - because if he fails, Hell on Earth will become far more than just a corny saying.
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Goddamned Freaky Monsters, book five in The Tome of Bill series, is a foul-mouthed horror comedy with a title that really irks the author's mom.
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Welcome to the fifth book in my Tome of Bill contemporary fantasy series.
This is the latest in my series about a D&D loving programmer who dies, only to reawaken in a world of supernatural horrors. Looking for brooding hunks pining for lost love? Look elsewhere. Bill Ryder, the hero of these stories, is much more likely to spend his days debating whether Hawkeye could take out Legolas - all while mouthing off to the creatures threatening to drag the world to Hell around him. Can a quick wit and sarcastic attitude hope to defeat primal forces from the dawn of time? Read and find out.
I have a lot of fun writing these stories. I very much hope you enjoy them.
The Tome of Bill currently includes:
Bill the Vampire (book 1)
Scary Dead Things (book 2)
The Mourning Woods (book 3)
Holier Than Thou (book 4)
Goddamned Freaky Monsters (book 5)
Half A Prayer (book 6)
Sunset Strip: A Tale From The Tome Of Bill
The Tome of Bill Compendium (vol 1) - Books 1-4 of the series in one collection for those who wish to follow the adventure and save a few bucks in the process.
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Keywords: urban fantasy,paranormal fantasy,horror comedy,hilarious stories,funny books,contemporary fantasy series magic,vampire series,vampires,vampire comedy,vampires fiction,comedy series,geek humor,gamer humor,alpha master vampire,fiction novels,fantasy ebooks,comedy vampires,underworld,supernatural stories,undead,zombies,superhero,superheroes,unlikely heroes,underdog heroes,bigfoot,sasquatch,cryptids,grendel,alma,yeti,destroyer
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About the author
Rick Gualtieri loves to write adventure, mayhem, and snarky dialogue. His bestselling Tome of Bill series combines all of this into a world of supernatural danger with hard-hitting action and plenty of sharp-tongued geeky humor.
Rick lives alone in a dark, evil place called New Jersey with only his wife, three kids, and countless pets to both keep him company and constantly plot against him. When he's not busy monkey-clicking out words, he can typically be found jealously guarding his collection of vintage Transformers from all who would seek to defile them - Defilers Beware!
Upcoming works:
THE WICKED DEAD (The Tome of Bill, part 7)
DEVIL HUNTERS
Visit him at:
Website and mailing list signup - www.rickgualtieri.com
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Twitter - twitter.com/RickGualtieri